I slept through dinner and for the rest of the night, by morning it was the second sunday of May. Our tradition was every second sunday we go to the church that my dad used to be the pastor at. Everytime we go there everyone looks at us with unwanted pity, and apologizes for our loss or tells us, “ He’s in a better place.” Whenever I hear someone say that I turn around and roll my eyes. My stomach growled, interrupting my thoughts. I stood up, and got out of bed. Hunger grumbled around in my stomach. I slowly walked out of my room and zombie walked to the kitchen where my mom pulled out a box of cereal. She then added banana slices to mine. That was my favorite way to eat cereal, as my mom well knew. I grabbed a spoon out of the drawer hoping that my mom forgot about church.
“ So… what are we doing today?”, I asked, trying to hide the hope in my voice.
“Um.. It is the second Sunday, so church of course!”
I sighed in frustration at her good memory. She gave me a scolding look.
“ It is what your dad would have wanted.” Almost every time we had to go to church she said that. It was almost as if she had to convince herself! I rolled my eyes and went back to my room. I grabbed a simple blue dress that stopped an inch above my knee. It was simple yet very beautiful. I took it out of my closet and unhooked it from the hanger. I changed into the dress and also slipped on some white tights. I walked out of my room and my mom was on the phone. She looked at me and smiled. I instinctively smiled back. She ended her call and closed her phone.
“ You look beautiful!”
“ Thank you mom” I quickly gushed back. I walked to the bathroom and grabbed my makeup bag. Before I started applying my mascara I stared into the mirror looking at myself. I opened the tube and started putting it on, and almost finished one eye before something happened. I looked behind me, and there stood Thomas holding the book. That book of nightmares, the book of my nightmares, and maybe Thomas’s. My breath quickened even as I took deep breaths. I slowly turned around. I could feel the pounding of my heart quicken with each centimeter I turned. Thomas was not there and neither was the book. I turned back to the mirror, and no one was there. I took the makeup to my room.
We headed to the church, and as usual we were late. My mom ushered me in and I sat in one of the smaller benches near the back. All of the cushions were stiff and itchy while the backs were wood. Everyone was tired and had rashes on the back of their legs and stiff backs at the end. Father Beige was the new pastor in our church after my dad died in the incident.
Jason Henry died in a fire at our previous church. One of the nails gave away and the draping fell into the candles. We were leaving the church that day when I smelled the smoke. He ran back in and helped Annie Mager, whose leg was broken and could barely walk, not to mention out of a burning building. Sometimes when I closed my eyes I could still hear him whimpering out his final prayer.
Especially his last words he said,'' bless my Em”. After that day Father Beige became the pastor and we had to drive out of town because our old building burned with my father. Anyway back to Father Beige, his real name is Father Brown but he is very specific about everything, so we gave him this nickname. It took a little more than an hour to drive to our church. When we walked into the building Father Beige was yelling on the top of his lungs a scripture from the bible. We sat next to this family who we have been friends with for quite a while. They had 2 children, a son who was a little older than me, and a daughter who was a little younger than me. I´ve always preferred thier daughter, but thier son always preferred me.
His long dark brown hair was covering his neck and his hazel eyes. I hated that he kept his hair long. In fact it was almost the same length as mine. He has had a crush on me for almost five years! I could feel myself filling with anger yet again, my vision even turned red around the edges. My wave of anger quickly simmered down as I heard Father Beige yell out a hallelujah and then asked for prayer. Everyone got quiet as we all walked to the edge of the room where we held hands in a circle. Justin traded spots with my mom so he could stand next to me. I leaned forward and looked at my mom as I gave her the death stare. She smiled and winked back at me. Rage filled my head. Why did she do this, she knows I don't like him! We used to not be close friends with their family, but then their second daughter died in the same fire my dad did. That is how we got so close to the family. Both of our parents went to a grief counselor. My moms appointment ended five minutes before hers started so they ended up talking for five minutes. Three people died in that fire. The other family never came to church again, in fact I saw the boy's dad walk out of a bar two nights afterward. He was holding a bottle of beer and tears were running down his face and he swayed as he walked, obviously drunk. I left after he started vomiting everywhere. It was so sad that their father left them when they most needed them. When someone left so did he. They might feel sorry for themselves but at least they had a dad to leave them. I shook my thoughts away. I noticed Justin staring at me. I set a stressfully relaxed smile on my face. He bashfully glanced away but I felt his gaze return to his long time crush, me.
When we were young his sister always told me that he liked me, and I always ignored her. I did not know her or her brother well, and who would like someone like me? I mean I was not as pretty as other girls and definitely not as nice, sometimes. He asked me out for the eighth grade formal a year before his sister died. My father died. I said no, and now I feel so bad for him. He has had a crush on me ever since so that has been five years now that I am seventeen.
Ms. Burgess walked into the building with a huge smile across her face with Thomas lulling into the chapel with a contorted face of boredom and anger. Across the room they sat down. Thomas rested his face on his hands and his arms on his knees. He looked to where I sat and smiled at me for the first time in what seemed forever. I jumped in my seat when Sister Farthington sang opera style over the rest of the choir. I looked back to Thomas hoping to see his smile again, but it left and it was replaced with a stern frown. Once the song ended Thomas stood up and left the room, and weirdly as he passed, every person was sent to a gloom. The parents frowned hard. The children springing tears out of nowhere. I stood up to follow him and slammed my knee into the bench in front of us. I grunted at the pain that shot through my leg. Justin placed his hand on where I hit it. I tensed and looked at him. He shook his head as if to tell me it is not worth it. My eyes narrowed as anger coursed through me. Then I slowly stood up and walked out after Thomas, ignoring Justin. I could feel his eyes on my back as I left. Thomas was standing in the hall outside of the chapel. I looked at him and he parted his lips as if he was going to say something.
“ I had a dog named Pearl. We buried her in our backyard.”I looked at him surprised at the random story. I decided to tell him about Roxi.
“Ummm… I had a cat named Roxi when I was a little girl. We buried her at the park underneath where the tree house used to be.” I thought he knew that I had a cat named Roxi.
“ You already knew that though”, I said as I stared at him with deep suspicion. He looked back at me trying to muster a quick comment back, but then as if something hit him he knew what to say. It was as if someone in his head told him what to say.
“ But I didn’t know where she was buried.” he said before he turned around and walked away from me. I stepped forward to follow him but someone grabbed my wrist. I spun around startled. Justin was standing behind me. My anger waved through me again, my eyes narrowed, and I practically was seething.
“ Don’t follow him.” he told me with obvious unwanted concern.
“ I am not a child Justin, thanks for the concern.” my voice was dripping with sarcasm, and I turned to walk away again.
“ Wait I have a bad feeling about him”, he yelled out after me. I turned around, and looked at him. He started chewing his bottom lip.
“And I have a feeling that if you do not just leave me alone I am getting a restraining order or something!”, I said as I tried not to yell at him. I walked to where Thomas was standing and saw him at the end of the road turning left. I could hear Justin yelling after me but I just ignored him. I walked for a while until we got to Thomas’s house. I walked around the outside of the house as I followed him.
