What's Freedom? (Yellow Pearl x Human Reader)

My...You

"So...are you sure you don't want to talk about--"

"What is there to talk about, [Y/N]?" Pearl startled you with a widely stretched grin. "I am perfectly recomposed and prepared to serve you in any way."

You looked despondently at your hands in your lap. "Look, I don't want to pressure you into telling me about...stuff...if you're not okay with that." You bit your lip at the twitching corners of her strained smile. "But if something's really wrong--"

"NOTHING'S WRONG WITH ME!" Pearl sprung from her seat and fell to her knees in front of you. "Please I only need one more chance don't dispose of me!"

Fearing she had another panic attack coming on, you took her by the shoulders and locked eyes with her.

"I was going to say if something's wrong you can talk to me about it. I was just hoping there was something I could maybe do to make you feel a little better."

A tear escaped down her cheek. "I...I don't understand--no, no, you don't understand. I am a Pearl. My feelings are irrelevant."

"Well, I am a human. I guess I never really learned any of that." You smiled sadly.

Her eyes, those deep orbs of honey, searched yours closely. For what, you weren't sure, but they lit up when she found it.

"You're different. Truly different." She rested a hand on one of yours, and gently moved it from her shoulder to scrutinize it. "I knew you were another species--" She compared her own hand to yours, giving it an exploratory squeeze, finding bone. She recoiled from it, though blushed lightly as she did so. 

"--and I knew this was another planet, but yet a part of me cannot fathom a place that is not assimilated into Homeworld's order. I mean, you really don't have any intention of replacing me?" She looked back at you cautiously.

"Replace you?" The word felt foreign. "I don't--what for?"

"For my outburst! Don't you understand?" The exclamation was sudden, frustrated--and immediately regretted, as Pearl grabbed her mouth and cowered. "I've failed you. I should just be there to serve you and not cause trouble."

"Well hey, that's not very fair to you, is it?" You took her hand from her quivering lips. "I was a sobbing mess that other day, and you didn't hold it against me."

"I'm your Pearl! That's what I'm for!" Frustrated, she grabbed her head, mussing her perfectly pointed hair. "Please--I need you to understand. I-I can't do this! I can't be free! And yet..." She slumped in defeat, emblazoned with shame.

"...I can't be a Pearl either. I failed you like I failed my Diamond."

Your mouth felt dry as a lump slowly sank through you. "Is that..." You saw her squeeze her eyes shut and tense up for the question. "Is that why she left you here? You broke down about something?"

"Other Pearls can do it!" She cried out. "Every other Pearl could take the pressure; why couldn't I?"

You were starting to feel sick. This innocent, dutiful, loyal being; what kind of life had she lived? What had this giant lady she praised endlessly done to her? Your heart began to quicken; you didn't want to know--Was it something you needed to know? You tried to shake it away so you could respond.

"She's the problem--not you!"

"Ah!" Pearl exclaimed, and automatically her hands clamped down over her ears--or rather, the sides of her head where a Gem's ears would be. She watched you stare at her in surprise, and lowered her hands again.

"She's a horrib--"

"Hnn!" She moaned as the hands went on the head again, her eyes shut tight.

You sighed and took her hands, gazing into her eyes. "Hey, I know this won't make everything better, but I think you're a great Pearl. You're often more on the ball than I am."

She sniffled, nose and lips crinkling to suppress more tears. "Yes, well, I suppose yours is the only opinion that matters now." She sat up straighter. "Regardless of what my Di--Yellow Diamond thinks."

You were about to reflexively remind her that she had no owner to please now, but you remembered the way she had called you "my [Y/N]", the way she valued what you had to say; looked to you as a leader.

You stroked her hand a little, and wondered if you were being too forward when her eyes widened at it. "Did you, um. When you call me your [Y/N], does that make you feel like...I dunno, like you belong somewhere?"

"Well, yes, but you've made your preference clear, and I wouldn't want to--"

"I actually liked it," you smiled, blushing. "I was just trying to discourage you from the idea that you belonged to me. But, well, it's kinda hard to resist a title that makes me feel so important."

Her fingers danced around your hands. "You are. You were kind enough to open your shelter to an unwanted Pearl. And if you would allow me to express that in an honorific such as 'my [Y/N],'" her golden eyes held you in such admiration, "I would be truly grateful."

You bit your lip as your face ignited. "I guess as long as you know you belong with me and not to me, my Pearl."