"In the end I'm gonna be alright, but it might take a hundred sleepless nights"
Pinalis ko ang luhang naglandas muli sa aking mga mata. Not this time, Les.
I remove the earphoes and unplug it to my phone. I should stop listening to these kind of songs, it brings back memories... terrible memories.
I was about to put down my phone when it rang. It's Andy.
"Hey, you okay?" she asked. She knew I'm not.
"Yeah" I answered while wiping another set of tears. I'm good at this, talking normal while crying.
"Just checking up on you, hope you don't spend your time blaming yourself about----" I cut her off. I hate when she bring this up. I hate the pity, it disgusts me.
"You know what, I'm about to jog call you later, bye" I said quickly as I look up on the ceiling stopping the tears that's about to blow up on to my eyes again.
I shut my phone off, not waiting for her to talk the went outside for a quick jog.
It's past 5 pm and the sky is about to turned orange together with the sun when I decided to jog, hoping I can runaway from these memories that keep me haunting all night.
Tumakbo ako, marahan papabilis hanggang sa hinahabol ko na ang aking hininga. I stopped and touched my knees as I breathed heavily.
I thought it's sweat that is dripping on my face, but it's tears. I cried, I shout while crying. I scream, loudly.
The pain in my chest is burning my soul. Ayoko na, pagod na 'kong masaktan... nang paulit-ulit.
I run again, this time faster. Shoving off all the pain in exchange of being exhausted.
Something made me stop. I saw the abandoned house, I saw it after a month of running away from it. Naglakad ako nang mabagal habang habol ang hininga. It's been a month but it seems haunted and sad. The grass are all over its gate, the vines are crawling over the old gate. It's a classic house like those from the movies.
Hinawakan ko ang bakal na nagsisilbing kandado nito at pinihit.
"No, I promised myself I will not go back here." I muttered.
Ngunit ang aking mga paa ay taliwas sa aking isip. I opened the gate widely and walk on the grass that used to be cut before. Tila alam ng aking sistema kung saan ako dapat pumunta, like a robot that's being controlled by her master... my heart. Nakita ko ang kahoy na upuan kung saan siya tumutugtog kasama ang kanyang gitara. I closed my eyes, letting all the memories invade my mind.
He's sitting on the wooden chair near the well, the view of the small pond is captivating, especially with him. He sets up his guitar and played the song I'm not familiar of. Maybe their band's new song. He's like a greek god while he's seriously strumming his guitar. His blue eyes and his long lashes are a match made in heaven, isama mo pa ang kanyang makakapal na kilay na tila nilikha lamang para sakanya. His well made jaw will make every girl melt whenever it's clenched. His pointed nose that will surely turn you on and on and want to kiss him every time he touches it, that's his habit. Touching his nose. I memorize every part of him, bawat galaw, hinga, ngiti, at tawa ay nakarehistro na sa aking isip.
"Les, you came!" Andy shouted through their door. He glanced at me when he heard his sister. I smiled at him and he went back strumming his guitar.
A lot of girls admire him, including me. Ang tanging lamang ko sa kanila ay matalik kong kaibigan ang kanyang kapatid, yun lang.
Andy ran over and hugged me.
"What took you so long, the popcorns are already cold" She pouted.
"The view is captivating" my mind tells.
"I did not use my bike, naglakad lamang ako" sagot ko habang nakatanaw pa rin sa magandang tanawin.
"Stop looking at him he might vanish" asar ni Andy habang kinukurot ang aking tagiliran. I flinched.
"I'm not looking" alma ko. She knew I like her older brother since middle school. Like.
"Liar, you know what let's go we have some series to catch up" I know, right. This girl is addicted to netflix series, especially Vampire Diaries. Ugh.
Tumungo kami sa kanyang kwarto upang makanood na. She opened her laptop then look at me, sadly.
"What?" I asked. She clicked the series 'End of the f***ing world" and opened the first episode. The boy is psycopath.
"I broke up with Mike" sambit niya na ikinagulat ko.
Mike is her long time boyfriend. They have been together for two years, I can say they are one of those couple who we say 'relationship goals'.
"What, why?" tanong ko. I paused the episode and focused on her.
"I saw him kissing Sophie" she sadly uttered, crying. I grabbed the tissue on the side table and wipe her tears.
"He cheated? Huh!" sigaw ko, nakakainis ang mga lalaking manloloko. If you want to cheat, end the relationship first. Stop ruining one's life.
I hugged her and she just cried on my shoulders. I knew it, kaya niya ako inaya sa kanyang kwarto at hindi sa sala.
"I hate it when I cry" she said after a long silence between us.
"You're a crybaby, I'm used to it" I replied, meaning what I said. She laughed a bit.
"Damon knows this, right?" I asked, she's now calm.
"No, God no. You know kuya will kill him" Wtf.
"So you worry Damon will kill that asshole after he cheated on you? What the hell!" nakakagalit.
"Let's keep this between us. Malay mo balikan ko siya" sagot niya na lalong ikinaputok ng galit ko.
"My God, Ands ang rupok mo!" ang tanging nasabi ko sa sobrang inis. She punched me.
"Wow, coming from you who's been crushing my brother since diaper moments" asar niya pabalik.
"Oh shut the fuck up, iba yon" sagot ko, I grabbed the popcorn and threw it at her.
"He's still single, anyway" she answered after throwing the popcorn back at me.
"I can't help but admire him" I simply said. She went near me and hugged me on the side.
"After all this time, Leslie?" she asked.
"Always" I answered.
