The Journey Towards Yourself

Chapter 5

"So Gwen, how are you feeling today? How do you like your roommates at Oak Avenue? Are they being friendly?" This is probably the 12th question Dr. Lorraine has asked me, and I answering with one-worded answers.

"I'm fine, they are fine, and yes they are nice." I might of lied about that last question though. Mackenzie still made fun of me after we came back from dinner, but this time it wasn't about my clothes. It was about my hair. She apparently didn't enjoy how blonde it was. This coming from the girl with bright blue hair.

Dr. Lorraine's fingernails tapped against the wooden arm of her chair. Her purple gel pen is hanging by her ear while her notepad is closed.

"Well that is good. Why don't you tell me about the therapy session that you attended yesterday morning?"

I suck in one cheek and smile a bit. "It was stupid." Dr. Lorraine chuckles a little bit at my response.

Dr. Lorraine was about to ask another questions when the door to her room flew open and there stood the guy I have been hoping I would see today.

"I'm sorry. I thought this was the bathroom." Derrick chuckled and looked at me. "Dr. Lorraine, would you mind if Gwen showed me where the bathroom is at. I am directionally challenged."

Dr. Lorraine looked at her watch and sighed, "okay, okay, but you two hurry because you are both paying for this time."

I stand up from my seat and walk towards out the door while Derrick closes it. "Okay. Now we are even." He chuckles at me. I lead him towards the bathroom where he took me yesterday but instead he pulls me towards a stairway.

"W-Where are we going?" I freak out a little bit and pull my wrist out of his soft grip and stand still. "What are you doing?" He steps toward me. I step backwards.

"Trust me Gwen." He smiles and I was almost hypnotized when I realized something.

"I've only known you for two days. I-I can't trust you," I whisper quietly.

Once again he laughs at my attempt to speak fluently, "This isn't a book or movie Derrick. I can't just trust you just like the snap of my fingers. It just doesn't happen like that in real life."

"Gwen come on. I'm not going to hurt you! I just want to show you some place."

I pull my sweater sleeves over my hands, and begin to follow Derrick once again. We walk up multiple staircases until we end up on the roof of the building.

I would of freaked out if the top of the building wasn't surrounded with a fence tall enough to be the next Great Wall of China.

The view from the top of the building was magnificent. It was absolutely breathtaking. I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

"How did you know how to get up here?" My eyes still glued to the view.

"My mother brought me up here a lot. It was before this building was turned into a therapy building. It was abandoned before Oak Avenue bought it. My mom would alw-"

He stops midsentence to look at me. Did I do something to make him stop talking? Of course I did something wrong. With my luck, I probably make him wish he never brought me up here.

"I'm sorry. It's just that I've only known you for what? Two days and I already feel as if I can trust you with everything," said Derrick.

I blush involuntarily. I nod at him implying that he can go on. He breathes very deeply.

"My mother always sing to me up here. I know, I know it's silly but I miss her. I really do." He smiles sweetly. "She was a single mother. Raising me all by herself. She was so brave. She worked 3 jobs so I could just eat 3 meals a day," He looks off into the distance. "God, I miss her."

I don't know what to say to him. I've never really been in a position like him before and it would be unfair for me to say that I know what he is going through, because in all honesty, I don't. All I could say to him was "I'm sorry."

His mood chippered up quickly though. His full smile came back, and he turned his eyes to me, "So I told you about me," he winks which makes butterflies in my stomach explode, "now it's only fair if you tell me about you."

Next thing I know, I'm sitting on the ground in crisscross applesauce and so is Derrick. "Well," I clear my throat uncomfortably; "I was raised in Des Moines with both my mother and father. I was very lucky to be raised in a loving family, but I was never, well, the skinniest person, and for that I wasn't treated the best. There was this one girl. She was so horrible to me. She treated me like I was a piece of trash. This one time when I was walking down the hallway she and her crew surrounded me and beat me until I was black and blue. I cried for help, but no one came because she was the most popular girl in the school and no one wanted to get in her way in fear of becoming her next victim. Everyday I walked around hating myself. Wishing that I were invisible or never born. So I pushed myself to lose the weight, and I did. I was so happy the summer I lost all of it, but I guess I went to overboard. I wanted perfection."

I didn't notice a tear running down my cheek until Derrick reached up and wiped it up with his thumb. "Hey, hey, hey it's all right. What was this girls name?"

I grab the Kleenex he handed me and blew into it. "Lele."