Broken & On The Mend

Chapter 3

April told me I did this. I always did this. Whenever I fancied someone I pushed them away. I gave them to someone else, and I still do it to this day. It's how I got into this mess in the first place! It became my form of protection after losing the guy in seventh grade. This was my defense mechanism that I can't seem to get rid of, and if I don't I know I will be ending up alone. Even though April dates so many guys at least she's dating, I have been alone for quite some time and the last relationship I held wasn't even truly a relationship it was a summer fling. You don't know a good thing till it's gone and now Phil was gone, although I still didn't realize my feelings for him.

Phil could drive but his family hadn't put him on the insurance yet so him and Avery settled for hanging out after school and at band practice. They were quite cute it was vomit worthy. At this same time I heard a rumor about a dear friend of mine, Monica, who had been sexually violated by a boy who had the audacity to comment on how well I looked in a bathing suit during swim class. Hearing this at first I thought this can't possibly be true, but of course it was. Her and I have slowly begun to grow close again and I found out that she's been having relationship problems of her own.

Avery and Phil were at the honeymoon stage although they had only been together a week they were already spewing out 'I love yous' Now I believed Avery when she said it only because he was all she had talked about for months on end, truly it got a bit much. Him on the other hand, he had been talking about another girl during all that time. I think he just wanted to believe he was in love with her. This stage lasted a month. My social studies teacher says 'True love is a farce. At one point or another the honeymoon stage ends and sometimes so does the infatuation with that person. You have to be sure that you can be friends with someone before you tell them you love them, because sometimes you realize you and the other person can't stand each other.' This became true for them. They had been friends before sure, but Avery had been in love with Phil when they met. She lost that love after some time. Phil still loved her dearly but they had been out for a month and had kissed a totally of once. It was both their first kiss and it didn't prove to mean anything to Avery she left him shortly after it happened.

Phil continued to talk to me about it for months on end. I was surprised because I thought when the relationship ended so would our friendship. I couldn't have been more wrong. Every single night he complained about how he lost Avery and it wasn't fair and various other things. Of course Avery knew all of this. Misery loves company so I complained to everyone I knew, Avery, April, Monica, even Bryan. Bryan was having the same bloody problem as I was and we had agreed that if he mentioned her again we would slap him. Of course we didn't actually but it was getting ridiculous they had only dated a month!

Avery was actually so much happier no longer being with Phil. He had actually started to tie her down and all she wanted to be free. I don't know why she had the sudden change of heart, and I still don't but she still continues to break hearts along her merry way.

That summer was when the big realization hit and my terrible year began. Phil was this was all coming from. He became the source of my problems and he didn't even know for the longest time. A big mouth like me I was surprised he didn't notice everyone else did. Especially the colorguard and Bryan, and especially as me and Phil's friendship developed....