The Innocence in Drugs

Chapter 1

Waking up to the sound of birds outside of my window, all I want to do is lay here all day, open up my laptop, and play video games all day. But, for some reason I chose to go to school with times of waking, and times of leaving. So I have no reason to bitch right now.

"Get up.", tell myself, but my mind filled with hair coloring videos and the comfort of my bed. I begin to snuggle back into my comfy spot I've already made, until I hear, "Stephanie, wake up!!" Come from my mother down stairs.

I groan and start to wake myself up. Sitting up with sleepy eyes, I look around to the pastel colors of my room. The Preteen hormones led me to want these Easter like colors on my walls. Rolling my eyes I reach to my night stand, open up the drawer under the table, then lazily grab the coffee container from next to a engraved wooden box. Listening carefully for anyone making sure I'm alone, I put the tin on my lap then open it.

The room suddenly fills with the smell of chocolate coffee, quickly I grab the baggie and I pull it out, trying not get coffee grounds all over myself.

I pick up the box that I keep next to the tin, I lift the latch then reach inside to pull out a Crown Royal bag. Getting the lighter out, and a small pipe. I set that next to me, and then get into the baggie and I put a pinch of weed into the bowl of my pipe, and take a hit. The small glow makes my child like room feel, more gown. The Barbie doll and Hello Kitty posters seem more ironic.

Instead of hearing the birds outside, all I can hear is the sound of burning plant life inbetween my finger tips. The sizzling sound sends chills down my spine, taking a breath, the burning sensation makes my thirst feel like actual fire is going down my throat. The smoke fills my lungs, and I pull the stem out of my lips and keep the smoke inside.

I let go, then set the rainbow swirled pipe, still smoking on my night stand.

"Shh.. don't tell anyone."
"I won't, I promise." The empty air says back.
"I know, I just have to tell you every time."
"I know, I know." She sits on the end of my bed smirking.
"Stop it. I hate it when you look at me like that."
"Like what, darling?" She snickers. "Or I mean, Sandy."
"Shut the fuck up!" I say a little too loudly.
"What did you say?!" I hear from outside my door.
"Nothing!" I yell back. Paranoia sets in and I start to put everything away, the coffee container, the lighter, and the pipe. I put it back on my night stand, and clean up like a crime scene.
"Stari?! Come on baby, you need to get ready for school." My mom yells.
"Viyollettes your ruining my high, get out of here."
"Whatever Steph." and she disappears. I don't really know if she's a dark angel here to give me hell on earth, or if she's just an imaginary friend.

"Coming!" I yell back. I peel the sheets off me and I look for something to wear. Weird band shirt, usual comfortable pants and my gray jacket. Yes.
After I get dressed, I feel the heavy heat of smoking. Hunger. I am starving. I could eat everything in my home. I could eat my shirt.
"Steph!"
"Yea!"
"Hurry up, you only have ten minuets to eat!" Holy shit, how long have I been sanding here?

I quietly laugh to myself, "light weight"

I begin to walk out of my room, but the distractions in my room keep me from leaving. I see my lava lamp and I know I'm not leaving.

"Stephanie! I will not say it again, you better get your ass out here before I go in there!" I hear my mom yell louder, and I get out of my daze and run out.

"What was taking so long?!"
I don't answer, but instead look at her like she asked me to name every city in the world.
"Never mind, your coffee is in the microwave." I walk to it, and pull out my steaming hot beverage, then turn to get out, who is at the moment pulling out my favorite type of bread. Oh my dog, I could take it right out her hands and just eat it whole.
"What's wrong honey?"
"Oh, nothing." hopefully my horrible lying skills are better this time. But when I look at her expression I know she doesn't buy it.
"Go sit." and so, I go to the living room.
"Oh great she's up." My brother looks up at me with a irritated expression. "Love you too, bro." He Ignores me and continues to watch shit Tv. I go take a seat. A minuets later I watch my mom walk into the living room, her long brown hair flows with every movement she makes, and her gray eyes shine in the light of the fan above. She's so pretty, prettier than I could ever be.
She sets a plate in front of my brother, then hands the other to me.
She's really nice to us, and I wish we appreciated her more often.
My dazed expression makes her sigh and have a annoyed expression. "Ok, I don't know what has been up with you lately, but I do know that it's not my normal Stephanie." she says.
I get surprised then sadness starts to drape over me. I feel bad about smoking sometimes when she looks at me in question of who her daughter is.
"I don't know." she keeps eye contact with me longer, in confusion and hurt then walks back into the kitchen to get ready for work.

After I finish my coffee and stuff down my breakfast, we head out the door, I grab three granola bars after she walks out the door, Jordan my brother slaps me in the back of the head then takes one away from we. He quickly walks me to the car. I hop in, my heart starts pounding.

"Honey, are you sure you're okay?"

"Yea, I swear."

Minuets later we make it to the school, getting up to the school I take a deep breath. Jordan although leaves immediately without hesitation for my mom's "I love you."
I stay a second longer to think. I have to walk up this long walk way, I immediately feel really lazy, and almost ask my mom if I can stay home. But then again, she'd start to get extremely curious, and I really don't want her to worry about me so bad. So I say my goodbye's and love and get out of the car.

"Sunglasses, music, hat. I'm in the clear." walking down the walkway, will be a struggle, I know it, especially since I where a hat, and sunglasses with clouds outside. Everyone thinks I'm a freak anyways, so it really doesn't matter.

I begin walking, after trying to get my wifi working on my phone so I can listen to music, I realize I've already found myself at the side walk of band, the one place no one in my life wants to see me.

Yes, all my friends hate me. I know, what a wonderful life. They don't particularly like me, I don't know why though. I don't like any of them easier, but most of my real friends are sent to Bic or just aren't around often to I hang these geese.

I try and get through the football playing Freshman, who I swear try and aim for me every morning, because I've gotten hit three times, and almost hit five. Haylee has freshman wrapped around her finger, which may be the reason they aim for me. Best friends forever, right?

Trying get to the people who hate me, is really difficult. I used to never come this early but Jordan got in a wreck, so until he gets a new car we're stuck with early bird mom as our ride.

The people stare like everyone else, probably wearing all black one day, then neon colors the next is a little weird, and looking really out there every day, can give people the wrong idea, but it's high school, what can ya do? You just have to try and ignore it. It's not like you really can, because it will always hurt when someone comments on your favorite shirt.

I finally get to the door, which is surrounded by band nerds.
I open the door, "Hey, kids." is the first thing I say before one of them says, "You smell weird." I try and not let the shock cover my face.
"Uh, okay." and I wait until someone else changes the subject. To my hope, it was, everyone forgot and didn't care.

I stand against one of the close walls, fading back into the back ground so nobody would talk to me. I try and ignore the fact of how sad this is and I look down at my phone. To text my real friends.