Her Only Regret; oneshot

Regrets

I am 19 yrs old, i do a lot of parties, hindi mabubuo ang araw ko nang hindi ako pupunta sa clubs to drink liquors, to smoke, and to dance with random people

I live my life the way I wanted.

I am still in college and almost half of the guys at my university have dated me. Yes, you're right. Wala nang ligaw ligaw, kami agad.

But after that, wala na, we're back to being strangers. It is as if we've never kissed, like we've never met each other.

I just dumped them like a trash.

I never really experience true love, for me love was just for fun. Hindi ko nga alam kung meron ba talagang so-called love dito sa mundo e.

I never experienced the kind of love that would brought butterflies to my belly, the love that would inspire me to wake up everyday, the kind of love that would make me feel so loved and worthy.

Even my family never let me experience that.

I am now 23 years old, I lived my whole life without experiencing true love, I am now working sa isang famous company, and I have this handsome co-worker, I always find way for him to notice me, but I never succeeded

He is the masungit type, laging seryoso sa work and laging blank face. Still, hindi maalis ang pagiging gwapo niya.

Even my other girl co-workers were stunned by his looks and his skills in terms of his job.

I was challenged, I never stopped trying different and silly ways just for him notice my existence. I tried talking to him and do many papansin, i tried to seduce him and me as a professional maarte, I won his heart

After being with him for about a year, I knew what true love feels, he had brought butterflies to my belly, he surely inspired me to wake up everyday and most importantly, he made me feel so loved and worthy.

We are very happy with each other's company, we never get into serious fights, tampuhan pede pa but naaayos rin naman namin at the end of the day

We are always together na alam ko na at kabisa ko na ang mangyayari sa magdamag namin.

And that made me lose my interest with the kind of relationship we have.

As days, weeks, months passed by, my love for him started to fade

I thought he's the one but fate surely is unforeseeable and uncertain. My treatment to him started to be cold and passionless

But his warm and genuine love for me never once changed, day by day it grows more. I hate it.

I hate it because how can he love me despite of my treatment to him

I hate it beacause I felt more guilty than before

I hate it beacause why can't I be like him, why can't our feelings be mutual

and I hate it beacause I cannot change the fact that I can't return his love for me

So I started to cheat, I started doing parties again, I started to drink liquors, smoke and dance with random people again. I know, I am a horrible. I admit it.

I know he knows what I am doing, alam niya kung bakit ako late na umuuwi, alam niya ang ginagawa ko sa likod ng paguwi ko ng madaling araw.

But, god! He still welcomes me with a warm hugs and smile at me and ask me if I am hungry or if I am tired

I felt so peccant.

That routine continues, every freaking day.

The way i treat him became worse.