never be alone (s.m.)

chapter one

"Amelia, will you turn that off?"

I giggled and exited out of YouTube. "Sorry."

Shawn ran a hand through his curl hair. "I don't need to hear that shit right now," he said, giving me a look.

Now I felt bad. "I'm sorry," I said again, going around the island in the kitchen to where Shawn was sitting. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder.

He relaxed into my hug and closed his eyes, sighing. "Life is so fucked right now."

That was an understatement. A few days ago, Shawn had a messy public breakup with his girlfriend Alondra. The press had gotten ahold of footage and stretched it. The next morning, #ShawnMendesIsOverParty was trending, and Shawn had lost almost two-million followers consecutively across all apps.

"Why doesn't Andrew have you address this?" I asked.

"He thinks it'd just 'add fuel to the fire' or something," he answered. "It's just so annoying."

"She was a bitch," I mumbled, standing up. "I told you so."

"Yeah, I know," he said, tilting his head sideways and stretching his neck.

Shawn and I have been friends for a while now. We met at a party in New York City shortly before his first album was released. We both live in Toronto, now, along with some of our other friends.

"Do you wanna go shopping with me?" I asked, stretching my arms above my head.

"In public?"

"Yes..? Where else?"

"I really don't wanna go out."

I bit my lip. "I know. But I think it'd be good for you."

He groaned, and I laughed.

"Look, I just have to go to Walmart really quick," I told him, going down the hall to my room. "You'll be fine."

I glanced in the mirror hanging on my wall. I was wearing athletic shorts and a t-shirt. I grabbed Shawn's hoodie and slipped it over my head and grabbed my keys.

"Is that mine?" Shawn asked when I re-emerged into the kitchen.

"Yes," I replied, filling my hydroflask with ice water. "It'll be quick. I just need to grab toothpaste," I assured him, heading towards the front door.

"Fine."

He frowned and followed me out the door and down the stairs to the parking garage where my car was.

"I call aux!" he exclaimed, running to the car.

I unlocked the Jeep, and he hopped in the front seat.

My Jeep was something I was really proud of, and I only had one payment left before it was paid off. It was a four-door, hardtop, tan piece of beauty. Stickers of all the places I'd been to littered the back bumper, and a dent in the left backdoor gave it character.

I hopped in the front seat and started the car, and Shawn fiddled around with the radio, connecting his phone to the Bluetooth.

"Here we go," he said, resting his head against the back of the seat.

----------

"You'll be fine," Shawn muttered, mocking me while slamming the car door.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize-" I started.

"It's not your fault," he interrupted, resting his head against the window and closing his eyes. "People just believe anything they see online."

"They don't matter," I said, grabbing his hand while looking over my shoulder to back out of my spot. "Their opinions don't count because they don't even know you. People who love you- me, Andrew, Ian, Brian, Kels, JD, Daniel, Preston, Haley, Lina-"

"I get it," he cut in. I took my hand off his and back on to the steering wheel to avoid getting hit by a black SUV that cut me off.

"Jerk," I muttered.

"It's just, how do paps even know where I am? At all times? It's ridiculous."

We hadn't even gotten halfway through the door to Walmart before being bombarded with cameras. All asking about the breakup, of course.

"I didn't even get my toothpaste," I grumbled, fiddling with the volume on the stereo.

Shawn laughed and I relaxed. "Can we get takeout tonight? And just hang out and watch Grey's?"

"Sure," I agreed, flicking my turn signal on and glancing over my shoulder before merging left.

"And I get to be little spoon," he added.

"Fine."

He gave me a little scrunch of his nose and leaned back, closing his eyes.

Shawn had a very flirty personality. All the time, he wanted hugs, cuddles, for me to play with his hair. I figured his love language was physical touch. Although we didn't like each other in that way, I did love him. He was one of my closest friends. Probably my best friend. We were so comfortable around each other.

"Is everyone home?" he asked, and I reeled my thoughts back in.

"I think so."

He groaned and I laughed.

We lived in a pretty big condo with our group of friends, which was so fun. Sometimes it could get loud, though. It was me, Shawn, Ian, Haley, Preston, and JD. Haley and I stuck together- it's not easy living in a house of boys. We all had our own rooms- Haley and I got our own bathrooms. There was a big kitchen, a living room, and a basement-type thing that the boys turned into a bar/game room.

"We can watch in my room," I assured him.

"Preston and JD always make fun of me for watching Grey's Anatomy," Shawn said, pouting.

I laughed and pulled into the parking garage, turning the car off. "Can you order something on DoorDash?"

"What do you feel like? I'll get anything except for Chinese," he said as we climbed the stairs.

"No need for the attitude," I teased as we walked down the hall towards the door to our condo. "Get burgers from Mel's."

"Yo! They're back!" Preston exclaimed as soon as we stepped in the door.

There was a plastic cup in his hand and a dab pen in the other.

"Oh God," I laughed, hanging my keys up on the hook to the side of the door.

"Shawn, man, try some of this," JD said, holding out a glass of something.

"I'm good," he said, sidestepping the boys and heading down the hall.

"You sure? I'd have liver failure by now if I was in your situation," JD called, but Shawn was already in my room.

"You want some, 'Melia?" Preston asked.

"It's barely even dark out," I replied.

"Oh, yeah, and she's not old enough," Jd added, flicking a piece of hair over my shoulder.

"I'm eighteen!" I protested, and they laughed before knocking down another shot.

I went down the hall and to my room, the last one on the left.

"The food is gonna take half an hour," Shawn said as I closed the door behind me.

I flopped down on the bed next to him, and he moved closer to me. I twirled his curls in my hands as I navigated Netflix.