Star Crossed Lovers [Matthew Espinosa fanfic]

Ch 17: Crying alot Today

I woke up looking at the ceiling of my bedroom, just thinking.

Maybe Cameron's right, maybe I am a slut. Tears were forming in my eyes.

Then I remembered me and Matt grinding on each other. That's what a slut does, they just grab someone's hand and start to grind on them.

Then I remembered my mom talking about my dad. I just bowled my eyes out it was like I was putting out bucket loads of water out of my eyes.

I checked the time and it was 5:50 in the morning. Wow I woke up early.

I felt sick in the stomach. I ran to the toilet and poured it all out.

I don't miss these day at all. I kept on vomiting for about 10 minutes then stopped.

6:00 better get dressed for school, but I don't wanna go to school. I have to so I don't go to school in two days in a row.

I got out of what I was doing and went into the shower. Once I was done I put on a towel and got dressed in skinny jeans and a black muscle tank top that says 'Shut up' in gold letters. Then I put on a cardigan that is in a weird pattern colored black and white.

I put on black socks and my white converses on. Then I went to the bathroom and put on foundation, mascara and lip gloss. Then I brushed my hair then curled it.

I grabbed my bag then looked at the time and it was 6:20 so I decided to head to Starbucks.

********at Starbucks**********

I got out of the car I was using ( my moms) then headed inside Starbucks. I waited till it was my turn to order what I wanted. I ordered a Carmel Frappe with a choc-chip muffin.

I walked to a couch and set my Frappe on the glass coffee table. Then I grabbed my iPod and plugged in my beats the first song was ' Wake me up when September ends' by Green Day.

I checked the time and it was 7:30, shit! I quickly finished my stuff then headed out the door.

*****at school*******

I got out of the car and quickly went to the office to do what I have to do.

I opened the door of the classroom and everybody was looking at me. "Miss.Shaw why are you late?" Mrs.Linsey said. "Does it matter whether you know?" I asked waiting for a reply " I guess not." I walked to my seat and just sat there.

Lunch break yes, yes because I don't have to be bored in class but not yes because want food. I went to my table were the girls were.

"Hay boo so how- wait aren't you eating you always get something on lunch break!" Jules said furrowing her eyes at me."look I don't have to eat if I don't want to!" I yelled but not so everyone can hear me.

I saw that Jules was hurt." Jules I'm sorry I'm just tired" I said trying to comfort her. "It's okay I'm pretty sure your feeling not happy since well last night" she said drinking her water.

The day went quick and I avoided Cameron and his group the whole day. Right now it's 8th period and I'm so bored Biology, well to me it is.

I snuck my iPod under my desk then when the teacher wasn't looking I put in my earplugs in and went to my music playlist then put on Latch by Disclosure , Feat Sam Smith (a/n my favourite singer)

(Chorus)
'I think we're closer enough, could I lock in your love baby,

Now I've got you in my space,

I won't let go of you, (never)

got you shackled in my embrace,

I'm latchin over you,(never)

Now I've got you in my space,

I won't let go of you,(never )

got you shackled in my embrace,

I'm latchin over you,(never)'

(End of Chorus)

By the end of the song it was next period so I did the same thing but with a different song.

In 30 seconds it's gonna be the end of the school day, YUSSS. Everybody is packing up to go as so am I.

Aaand,

Briiiiiiiiing!!!

I ran out and bumped into someone. I looked and it was Cameron, I quickly grabbed my stuff and ran out of the school. I know he was calling my name.

I got to my house and just ran to my room. I collapsed on my bed and started to cry.

I hate myself much, I'm so ugly and I'm a slut like Cameron said. How can I just stop hating myself, I kept on thinking.

Then 'that' popped in my head, I ran to my bathroom. I looked through the cabinet and found a one.

Should I do it, I told myself not to do this anymore but it's to much for me. I put it to my skin then did 'it' a couple times.

I cleaned up the mess I made then put a bandage over it then hid the item in my cabinet. I got another cardigan because the other one I had on had blood on it.

I laid down in my bed and just thought.

___________________________
I know this was pretty depressing but if ya want more depressing stuff then just comment.

I didn't do it descriptively because well I don't know but if you want it to be descriptively then comment.

So I'm gonna stop the A/Q/A because I want to be quick making Chapters.

Bye my Duck-Faces stay Fierce ;0