Pride Month: Asexuality

Chapter 1: Bisexual

Ever since I was a kid I always knew I was different from others. I never really liked boys or understood why other girls would drem about their wedding or would start "dating" at 6 years old. But me, no, I was always the kid with her head in a book. Dreaming about my future job and college and really anything that wasn't dating or weddings. For years I was the smart kid who knew everything and who was weird. 

Then, when I was in third grade this really rude and annoying boy who I had to sit next to handed me a not. It said "Hey, I have a crush on you. Will you be my girlfriend?" And so me being the kid no one really liked and thought no one would like me ever said yes. We "dated" for a couple weeks until he said he didn't like me and was only using me to get the girl he really like to become jealous. Now, may I remind you that we were eight years old at the time. I'm pretty sure that's when I lost my faith in guys. 

Going forward three years, I was eleven. I had some friend tell me that they were bisexual so I looked it up and thought that it was me. Now, at this time I had only met two gay men, who are still in a relationship to this day, and they are like family to me. One of them has been my moms best friend since she was born and we still try to see him even if we live far away. 

Back to the point. So at this point I think I am Bi because I have had a crush on both guys and girls. Going forward the next year I embrase who I thought I was and my friends all supported me and one of them even came out as pan. One of my friends had moved back to our area and said she was also bi but felt more attracted to girls. In Febuary before a Valentines dance I realised I had feeling for her but I wasn't sure what kind. When I was trying on my dress for the dance I asked my mom what her thoughts would be if I went to the dance with a girl. She said she didn't care as long as I was happy. But I could see the disappointment in her eyes. 

After the dance the girl I had feelings for asked me out. I told her I had feelings for her too but I didn't really want to date. We still remain good friends and that summer I thought my sexual identity was no longer Bi but Pan. And that leads into eighth grade.