"You & I - The beginning of Something New"

A new start? I don't Know.

I sit there, analyzing Jesy's words, could it be true? I know i still love him, but something inside me says i can't trust him, but i want to forgive him, my days without him are so pointless, i feel like shit, but i have to be strong, i think she is right, i cant let this take over my life, i feel like I'm letting down so many people, everybody feels sorry for me, that's not good.

2 Weeks Later

November

Finally all set  in my new life, i hear a know at the door "Coming!" i go to open it and its him, Ian, dreamy dreamy Ian, "Hey you, got some Chinese, thought i might come by for lunch" "he says showing me the white plastic bags "Uh- yeah sure! come in" Oh god, I'm hyperventilating "I haven't seen you in a long time, i came to look for you a few weeks ago but nobody answered" "Oh yeah, i was at the hospital..." as i say that, the thought of Zayn comes back to me, but it isn't that painful, i feel safe, for some strange reason "Oh, are you okay?" "I'm here, aren't i?" i say with a smirk "Yeah, and im glad!" i blush, my god! "Okay, so we can eat in the living room, watch a movie maybe?" oh Perrie stop making excuses, you just want to watch a movie so you wont have to talk to him "Sure, why not?" we go to the living room sit on the floor behind the snall glass table and start the movie.

"Hey, i really liked that movie!" "Its on of my favorites!" i say, "Ian, what do you do for a living?" "Well, my dad owns a Wine company" "Oh, great! so you work there?" "Yes, well i manage it" "So im guessing you know a lot about wines?" "Yeah, you could say...and you, you are a celebrity?" "Umhm, i thought you didnt know" i say taking a sip out of my soda "Well, i knew all along, i thought if i asked you, you would think im a crazy fan" "Ah, well i wouldnt have thought that, most of our fans are teenagers, but, your a man" i say punching his arm "Well i didnt want to drive you away" "Well i dont think that would have been possible" "Are you sayong im atractive?" "Oh, god, yes, i suppose!" i say blushing, he scoots closer to me, "I think you are very beautiful" he says stroking my cheek and leaning in, i stare into his eyes, unable to pull back, i want to but i dont, "You do?" "Yes, i do" his lips are lightly brushing over mine. 'IPhone Rigntone' *gasp* "Uh, um i think thats me" "yeah" he says looking away" "Hey jadey, whats up?" "Hey pezz, i was wondering if i could come over, if your not busy" "Sure, im not busy" Ian looks at me and shakes his head, he gets up and heads for the door "Hey i gotta go, ill wait for you" "k, see you" "Ian wait." "Naw, it fine, i get that your not busy" i know he's offended "Look i didnt mean it like that, its just that, i need to see my friend" his expression softens "Hey, i get it, dont worry" he steps closer to me "If you need me, you know where to find me" "Im really sorry, but thank you for dinner, i really enjoyed it!" "your welcome, and i hope we can retake were we left off some time later" i look up at him, , "Its later" i whisper "What?" "It's later." i walk to him and kiss him, i put my hands on his cheeks, og god, he is a good kisser, i lower to my normal height off my toes "Wow" he says "Wow " i answer back, "i-i should uh, get going" "Yes you should." i look at the door and i see JAde and Jesy standing there "Oh shit" i say "bye" he kisses my cheek "Bye" "oh hurry it up" says Jesy, i shoot her a look, he walks out "Please, do come in" i say Jesy just walks by past me "OMG you have to tell me everything!!" says jade "YES! i will, lets go to the kitchen" "Sure, just let me go to the loo" i walk to the kitchen and Jesy is just putting grocery's in place "Hey Jess...." i say awkwardly "Thought id bring you some grocery's since you clearly havent got time to do it, and im the only one that noticed" she doesnt even look at me "Jess please, look-" "Don't, im just here to drop this off and im out of here" i lean against the door frame "Jesy why are you doing this?" "Because im your friend, its no big deal, its just grocery's." "No, you know what i mean" "No, i dont" "Yes you do" "Nope" "Dont do this Jessica" "Do what?" "TAKE HIS SIDE!!" she walks to me and stands right in front of me, a little too close i would say "I AM NOT TAKING HIS SIDE!, i am not taking anybody's side, i am trying to protect you, i am trying to help you, i am trying to SAVE you, or do you think i dont know what you have been doing every night?" "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" "I've been here 2 nights every week, i sneak in and sit in the living room, i put cameras in your room to watch you" "WHAT?! are you some kind of freak?" "YES I AM! i have done this, because i know you better than anybody, i have gone through a breakup, and i know how fucking bad it hurts" "WHY?" "WHY WHAT?." "Why the hell do you have cameras in my room" "Fine, you wanna know?" "YES I DO, please explain" "Remember the night we first slept over? i was woken up by the sound of you crying, you were on your bed, curled up and just cried, you were saying...y- you- " "I was saying WHAT?" "You were saying that you wanted to die, that there was no hope for you, that you were going to end with the pain" i see tears form in her eyes, im in shock, i really said that in my sleep? ive never had suicidal thoughts or any of those things "I've been so fucking scared that you might do something if you are alone here, so thats why we do this" wait what? she stares at me in shock, like she wasnt supposed to say that "So im sorry if im trying to help you, and not let him go, because you still fucking love him" "I DO NOT" "Yes you do Perrie, if you didnt love him anymore it wouldnt hurt when we mention him, or why you are depressed all the time, and why you cry yourself to sleep every night" "you had no right, you invade my privacy" "I saved you" she growls "But you know what? you want it to stop, then fine, its going to stop, im tired of feeling sorry for you, because you have to face reality and fix your own problems, SNAP OUT OF IT SISTER!!!" she says snaping her fingers in my face and storming to the door, i hear it slam and  i slam my fists in the counter "FUCK!!!!!" i yell.

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