1Am I ready?

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simons pov
I never gave this whole 'first time' a second thought till I was with Bram. I didn't want to make a massive deal about it, maybe i should..
We never really talked about it before but we have been dating for what 1 month and we have been close but then we stopped because it wasn't the right time but when ever is the right time for us especially as a gay couple. Maybe I'm just overthinking it like usual. Mom says I tend to do that. Whilst thinking ALL of this I was in Maths. Bram was only a couple rows ahead of me. Honestly, this teacher was annoying me, he was just drowning on.  This whole sex thing was confusing me, you don't just ask straight up and there isn't really any other gay guy I can ask.. Maybe Ethan but he is a virgin I think.
'What you thinking about?' Leah whispered from the left side of me.
'Nothing. I'm fine' I lied.
'Simon Spier! Don't lie to me!' Leah said hastily.
'Something wrong Ms Burke. Would you like to share it with the class?' the teacher said.
'No sir.' Leah firmly replied.
'Then don't raise your voice please' the teacher replied and I laughed slightly.
'Your fault.' Leah muttered and roll my eyes.
'Get a hold of yourself Simon' I whisper to myself. I clench my fists and try to calm down, why am I making this a big deal?? I just need to calm down.
Finally, the bell rings and I can go home. I frantically start walking to my car.
'Hey..Hey. Wait up' a voice calls out. I turn around and it's my boyfriend.
'What's wrong?' Bram said and put his hand on my shoulder.
'I'm fine.' I say firmly, trying to not make it obvious that i'm freaking out.
'No your not. I know you Simon' he giggles slightly.
'Sorry I just gotta get home.' I quickly reply and kiss his cheek before rushing to my car and drive home. As soon as I get home, I run to my room.
'Woah, buddy. Slow down' Dad calls after me and follows me to my room. I'm spiralling this is a big descion and I'm not sure why I am panicking either your ready or your not,right?!
'What's wrong?' Dad asks hastily.
'I'm not sure... I'm freaking out and I'm not sure if I should be freaking out.' I ramble frantically.
'Simon, sit down and have this glass of water.' he hands me a cup of water which I take a big sip of.
'Ok.. now that your slightly calm, wanna tell me what's wrong?' My dad asks confused and sits next to me.
'I know this isn't your area of expertise but..' I say
'Oh gay stuff. I don't have any experience but I can relate.' He jokes.
'Dad!' I complain.
'Go ahead..' he says.
'How do you... you know in your.. experience when the right time is to you know' I stutter slightly.
'Oh sex. When you know you know. You have to make that descion. Not anybody else.' he mentions. 'I knew we would eventually have this conversation just expected you want Moms help not mine'
'I just need help. To stop freaking out about it. Because I want to I just don't know' I anxiously say.
'Oh Simon. If you love one another and you trust one another you know it's the right choice to make. And if you ever feel uncertain you stop .' Dad explains.
'Thanks dad' I say and hug him.
'Now stop freaking out. If you want to just ask.' he sighs and leaves my room.
That puts things in to perspective why did I freak out when I love Bram and he loves me so it's the right thing...

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