Control

Chapter 15

Ella

This had to be a nightmare. In the past 24 hours my emotional scale ranged from terror to rage. How did I get here? More importantly, how do I get out of here?

I looked into his smug and terrifyingly beautiful face as he waited for my reaction. I knew this was a lose, lose for me. I disobey, he gets to punish me, I give in, he gets what he wants. I was completely out of my depth.

Nausea hit me hard as I actually contemplated submitting. Was this really the hill I wanted to die on? Could I comply without completely losing myself in this? What was the right thing to do? What was the smart thing to do?

As my thoughts were whirring I could see his countenance shift and the impatience set in. I had to make a decision. Swallowing the rising bile, I slowly leaned forward. I saw his eyes widen in surprise before I clenched my eyes shut and my lips met his.

Before I could pull away from what I planned to be a quick peck, his fingers curled around my nape and held me in place. His harsh grip contradicted his gentle kiss against my immobile lips. Ice flowed through my veins as I felt his other hand land on my upper thigh, quickly riding up under my dress.

I panicked and the ice melted and fire replaced it. Not the good, passionate kind- the burning, painful kind. I struggled and pushed and resisted and hit and protested in any way I could. My resistance seemed to only spur him on.

James gathered me into his arms, limiting my movements and effectively halting my fight. I turned my head violently to the side gasping for breath before releasing a sob.

"Please!" I begged. "I kissed you, let me go!"

His fingers caught my chin and he stared into my eyes, stilling for a moment. The serious and searching face relaxed into a chuckle as he lowered his head with a humorous shake and released me.

"Good girl."

I hated those two words more than anything else he's ever said to me. They so quickly brought a turmoil of feelings. I couldn't help but feel relieved that I had pleased him and disgusted with the way they were meant to belittle and control.

Without another word, James stood, pulling me up with him and we returned to his car. Silence persisted the entire ride back to his apartment as well as the dread I felt at the thought of being forced to spend the first of what seemed to be inevitably many nights next to this crazy man. I began shaking as my imagination spiraled deeper and darker envisioning worse and worse scenarios that were seemingly foreshadowed by the terrible kiss before.

All too quickly we were there. Mechanically, I followed James inside, hoping against hope that my tacit compliance would turn the night somewhat in my favor. As the front door lock clicked, much louder than I think normal doors lock closed, I stood waiting in the entryway, staring at the floor, begging my body to not shut down quite yet.

"It's been a long day, let's head to bed," James sighed.

"Please, can I go home? I-"

I was cut off as I peaked at his face and was met with his dark glare, promising nothing good should I finish my uncharacteristically courageous plea. I gulped and returned my gaze to the floor, curling my lips in on themselves to try and trap any other stupid utterances that may have escaped. I followed him at a distance, knowing he expected me to and no longer having the energy to defy him.

Once inside his bedroom James approached me with a bundle.

"Here are some clothes for you to wear. Go ahead and change and get ready for bed. You put up anymore arguments about sleeping arrangements, I will still force you to sleep on the bed, but without these clothes on. Understand?" He quietly commander while bending down to peer into my downturned face.

"I understand," I whispered, taking the bundle and sluggishly entering the bathroom.

I felt so drained. Detached from emotion and logic and actually looked forward to the escape that sleep promised. The bundle was one of his shirts with a new pair of panties- of course. I got dressed, washed my face, brushed my teeth and braided my hair back, all while avoiding the mirror. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door back to the bedroom, not knowing what to expect.

Please let him be gone.