Grace (A Sinclair Society Novella) Rough Draft

Chapter Sixteen

I spent a sleepless night, wondering where Mr. Melbourne was. Had he followed Miss Dunbar? Was there some other reason he stayed away? I also couldn't get Mr. Ingram's death out of my head.

My mother had a lot to say over breakfast, but I didn't hear a word. My emotions felt fragile, and I was tired. By the time I escaped the house, I felt close to tears. A walk would do me good. At least, that was my hope.

"Miss Anderson."

Hearing my name just moments after stepping onto the pavement came as a shock. I spun around to see Miss Nelson, dressed in a lovely blue gown, coming toward me. Her expression was one of concern.

"Oh, Miss Nelson," I said, glancing at the door. Why should I feel nervous about being seen in her company? Mother knew nothing of her existence, so she couldn't berate me for passing time with a servant. The thought made me straighten my shoulders. "I did not expect to see you again. I heard the Dunbars left town. You did not go with them?"

What an utterly inane question. Of course, she hadn't gone with them because she was right in front of me. "What has happened that has upset you?" she asked, ignoring my stupidity.

"It's nothing."

She tilted her head slightly and I felt a blush creep up my cheeks. "Come. Let us walk for a bit," she invited calmly.

There seemed no harm in that. I'd intended a walk anyway and had no specific destination in mind. She had been a patient listener before. We began to walk together and I hardly knew what direction we were going.

"I thought you would have left Bath with Miss Dunbar and her family," I finally said to break the silence.

"Miss Dunbar dismissed me several days ago, so I did not leave with the family," she said, waving a hand. She actually sounded as if it wasn't a serious matter to have lost her position. "However, I don't think my situation is what is concerning you so much."

I hesitated. Miss Nelson may have been a kind listener but would she understand? She seemed to before. "There have been comments of late," I said slowly. "Many are asking when I expect to be married and wonder how Mr. Melbourne managed to catch my attention."

Miss Nelson gave a nod. "And you find this distressing."

"Yes and no." How to explain in a way that would be understood? "You must understand. I never expected to meet any gentleman who could possibly replace Jonathan in my heart. Jonathan Sinclair was the epitome of a gentleman. It almost feels like a betrayal to imagine a life without him."

"I see. Did you not say Mr. Melbourne reminded you of Mr. Sinclair?"

"Well, yes, but they are so different at the same time. Some of my acquaintances have made such disparaging remarks about how I have finally allowed myself to be courted; how he must be a paragon of virtue or incredibly wealthy to finally make me change my mind. I know Jonathan would have laughed it off but I'm not sure Mr. Melbourne will react with such composure."

"What do those closest to you say? Do they have the same opinion?"

"My father is delighted, though my mother has reservations." Which was putting it mildly and did not bear further explanation. "I am the last child at home and I know they have worried over whether I will secure my future or not. I simply cannot shake the feeling that I am betraying Jonathan by moving on."

"I understand what you are saying," Miss Nelson said, her tone kind. "But there is something you ought to consider. How would Mr. Sinclair feel? From what I know of him, he would be happy if you were happy. You've had time to mourn your loss but he would turn over in his grave if he knew you were letting life pass you by because of him. Wouldn't he?"