CLICHÈ || Knb《Akashi Seijuro》

#clash no. v

My last day on Akashi mansion is the third saddest day of my life. The second one is the day my father died. The first one? It's today.

Maman had come to pick me up that day. We had spoken over the phone several times, but she never asked anything about the task. That's why I wasn't surprised when that was the first thing she whispered into my ears when she hugged me.

"Yes, maman." I replied as always. Somehow, she could always tell when I lied. That's why couldn't keep Akashi's promise even though I really wanted to.

Shiori-san cried when it was time to leave. She had gotten so weak that she couldn't walk anymore. She also lost a lot of hair in the past seven days, suffered from nauseousness, abdominal pain and many other physical pain. However, she refused to go to the hospital because she wanted to give me company,

That day, Shiori-san followed us to the gate in her wheelchair. Akashi and his father came too.

"Come here." She said when it was time to get inside the car.

I walked nervously towards her.

"Aren't you sad to leave us?" She asked. "I am very sad."

"Me too." I said meekly. I was. I just didn't want maman to find out how much.

"Wanna know a secret, Enya?" She whispered playfully. I nodded. "You have the prettiest smile in the whole universe."

"I don't." I said defiantly.

"You do. And I think you know it too. That's why you rarely smile."

"I don't." I whispered this time. I felt like crying. Nobody praised me like Shiori-san. Nobody sounded as believable and soothing.

"Will you do something for me, sweetheart?" I nodded. "Will you come to me when you're lonely?"

I looked at her eyes and could tell that she meant it. I could feel my eyes brimming with tears. So I bit my lips harder to not cry. I wasn't allowed to cry in front of others.

"Come to me, alright?" Shiori-san hugged me tightly as she whispered softly in my ears. "Reach out for me the next time you feel alone or scared and I swear I'll protect you."

Shiori-san can't protect me. She couldn't protect herself from maman. She couldn't even tell that the person she was trying to protect was the one who was slowly killing her.

All Shiori-san could offer me was love. And, even if it was enough to save me, it wasn't enough to change me.

After that Spring, for the rest of my life, I wanted to reach out to Shiori-san. But she wasn't there anymore. Even after all these years, today, when I feel most vulnerable, I think of her and wish to talk to her. I crave the warmth her hug gave me that day, and wish to see her smile one last time. But I know I can't. And I know why and how it all came to be.

That is why, today, on the saddest and loneliest day of my life, I have decided go to her.