Wolfstar||✔️

Fourteen- Remus

Sirius leaves to go dance with James or whatever but I stay outside with Nymphadora "So, Remus is it?" Asks Tonks "yes, you must be Tonks" I reply, she smiles and nods "that's me" says Tonks

"So...you and my cousin are together?" Asks Tonks "well, yeah I guess" I reply "how long?" Asks Tonks, I shrug like it hasn't been long "5 years" I reply, she gives me an impressed look "that's a long time" says Tonks, I nod

"You don't seem..happy" says Tonks, her brow furrowed "I- I guess that's because I'm not really" I reply, she raises her eyebrows "why not?" Asks Tonks, I shrug "I just feel...trapped. I love Sirius, with all my heart I always will but...I guess I just don't want this to be my future I want to get married and have kids and be happy and as much as Sirius used to be the one to make me feel complete he just doesn't anymore" I reply, unsure as to why I'm confiding in a stranger.

"Well, perhaps then you need to save yourself the misery" says Tonks, shrugging like it isn't a big deal "you mean break up with him?" I ask rather nervously "well, there's no point in being in a relationship when you aren't happy" replies Tonks.

"Someone like you, kind, charming, sweet, funny and devilishly handsome, you deserve something good something that spices up your life something that ignited your fire. Something you crave so much. You deserve a love that makes you feel that thrill you have when you first fall in love but all the time. You deserve more than this trapped feeling" says Tonks, I sigh "you wouldn't be saying that if you knew what I am. I'm a monster. No one wants me, how could anyone love me?" I ask "Sirius loves you" says Tonks

"That's because he's seen what I am he knows what I can become he's let that information sink in" I reply, getting frustrated at her clam demeanour. Perhaps it's jealousy. The fact that I'm always on edge because I have to be weary of everything "what is it that makes you a monster then?" Asks Tonks

"I'm a werewolf" I state simply, she doesn't flinch, nor does she gasp or back away or make up an excuse to leave "I think werewolves are fascinating misunderstood beings that have no control over themselves. You're not a monster, Remus, far from it and if a monster is what someone sees then they don't deserve you" says Tonks and right now I have the sudden urge to kiss her

We stare into each other's eyes, each of us scared to look away because we know that if we do we'll be back into reality. Into the world we resent. Into the world where neither of us seem to fit in. We edge closer to each other. We're millimetres away and our lips touch. My lips are in hers and we're kissing passionately in the garden on the venue of the party my best friends are having for their wedding to celebrate their love. Here I am, practically cheating on my boyfriend with his cousin.

I don't feel the slightest bit disgusted with myself as I should, for those moments of passionate snogging with Nymphadora Tonks I feel loved. I feel complete. I realise now that I am no longer the fifteen year old boy that fell in love with Sirius Black. I'm no longer scared or confused. I'm no longer in love with Sirius. I will love him forever as my friend and as something more romantic than that but I'm afraid that I am no longer in love with him.

"Remus" I hear a voice say. A voice I know all too well. The voice of a man whom I once was in love with "Remus what are you doing?" Asks Sirius, he sounds broken and for the first time I feel guilt hit me in the heart like a bullet. "I- Sirius" I stutter. Nymphadora makes the wise decision of leaving us alone

"Why were you kissing her?" Asks Sirius "Sirius can't we leave this till tomorrow?" I asked exasperatedly "no. No we can't" replies Sirius "look I don't want to ruin James and Lily's day, it's to celebrate them. Can't we just leave it for now?" I ask "no, we can't. You didn't seem to mind when you were practically eating Nymphadora's face off not short of thirty seconds ago" snaps Sirius

"Look I was going to come up with something to say to you after the wedding, do this in a more calm and private manner but I guess I'll do it here" I say, confusion washes over Sirius' face at my words "what do you mean?" Asks Sirius.

I can't bare to look at him.

"Sirius, I love you and I always will do. But there's a difference between love and being in love. I realise now that I am no longer the fifteen year old boy that fell in love with the fifteen year old Sirius black, but I am the 21 year old man who has realised that his future is set on getting married and having kids and as much as this relationship has been one of the best I don't think this is the future I want. I will always hold a place in my heart for you, Sirius, there will always be something more romantic than friendship between us but I just can't stay in a relationship where I feel trapped and lonely" I state

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. It's been good while it lasted" says Sirius and he walks away. I'm left on my own in the small garden and I just heave a sigh and walk back into the building. Put on a smile and pretend that everything is ok. You can do that, Remus. Of course you can. You've been doing that for years.

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Hello there my lovelies!

I'm so sorry for this. I kinda hate myself for doing this but like...just wait I have ideas. Just. Yeah. Please don't hate me <3

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