Hidden Love (Tronnor fanfiction)

~2~ It isn't normal

Connor's pov

We were all sitting on my couch. I felt Troye snuggling up to my side almost immediately. I tensed up a little because I didn't expect him to do that. Weird enough I liked it, I was practically cuddling with my best friend and it felt nice.

"Connor do you mind if I put my head on your shoulder? It's just comfy for me but if you don't want that I can..."

Out of fear that Troye would take it away I spoke up before he could finish his whole sentence.

"No it's fine"

I felt myself relaxing under Troye's touch. Having his warm body next to mine felt so much better than I could ever imagine. But it isn't normal to cuddle with your best friend, is it? And especially not if you feel the things that I feel right now. I'm not supposed to like this, I'm not supposed to cuddle with Troye. It isn't normal.

I began to move under Troye but when he lifted his head of my shoulder I missed the touch. This is exactly what I wanted to cause by moving so why did I miss his touch? I stood up before it would look weird. Troye can't know I moved just to get him of me.

"I'm gonna get some coffee do you guys want anything?"

"Uh another hot chocolate if that isn't too much work." Troye said with his voice so soft and sweet. I looked at his beautiful smile and quickly turned away to hide mine. I need to stop looking at him especially when he makes me smile like an idiot. What's wrong with me? Why is he capable of doing this to me?

I snapped out of my thoughts when Tyler spoke up.

"Same as Troye."

"Okay" I simply answered. I didn't really trust my voice right now. Why was I feeling all these things and why now? It's not like I haven't spoken to Troye in the last few months. We've spoken so much but seeing him and having him so close is just so different. He can make me forget everything and I would say he can make me forget all the bad things but that isn't true. Everything I feel and think right now are the bad things that I want to forget. It's the part of me that I hide. I don't want this, I never asked for it. I just want to be normal. Is that too much to ask for?

The drinks were ready so I went back to the living room. I put the drinks on the table and told them they were ready. What was actually pretty obvious otherwise I wouldn't bring them but I just wanted to break the silence.

I sat down in the couch with my legs next to me so that Troye couldn't sit close to me. As much as I wanted him to be close I thought this was just better for me and my thoughts.

"So what did happen in the movie when I was gone?"

I looked at Troye expecting that he would tell me. He was always the one who told everyone what happened but not now. He just kept staring. I frowned a bit not because he didn't tell me but because he seemed sad. Why is he sad? When I left the room he was still smiling. Did there happen something in the time I was gone? I wanted to ask him about it but right then Tyler started to tell what happened in the movie. I didn't really focus on what he said and it's not that I cared about the movie at all.

The rest of the movie was quiet and I was actually happy that it was over now. My mind was only going crazy throughout the whole movie. I just wanted to talk to Troye. I even wanted to sit in another position to get closer to him. I didn't do it though, that would've been weird.

"I think we can better go to sleep it's already late and we can use some rest. I also wanted to go shopping tomorrow if you guys don't mind because I lost my favorite beanie and I need a new one."

"Sure I don't mind. I can search for a new pair of shoes then" Tyler said.

"You lost your beanie? The grey one? Really Connor? I thought you would take more care of it." Troye said in a sarcastic tone. Another thing I really liked about him. His sense of humor is the best. He can always make me feel better. When I'm upset he always seems to notice it and then he does something to make it better. He doesn't ask me what's wrong, he just makes it better. Most of the time I'm really happy that he doesn't ask what's wrong. I rather deal with my problems myself. I don't want to involve other people in it.

"Yeah Troye the grey one and it's not funny I really loved that beanie!" He knows that I didn't mean it serious. We just like to keep on the sarcastic game but his next answer seemed serious and not sarcastic at all.

"Yeah it's actually really sad, you looked really good with it. I will help you to find a new one where you look even better in."

Wait was this some sort of compliment? Did he just said that I look good in it? It was probably just a casual thing to say but it still caused me to blush. I just hope he doesn't notice, that would be really awkward.

"Thanks Troye I really think I need your help, you know how bad I am at choosing things."

"I know but now I'm actually here so you don't need to show it on Skype. That's so much easier. Sometimes I really wished that I lived somewhere closer to here"

Oh Troye if you only knew how much I want that. There doesn't go by a week without thinking about how it would be if you lived closer to me.

Troye's pov

I said to Connor that he looked really good in that beanie, it was maybe a little bit flirtatious but I knew that he wouldn't take it like that. He's straight and I'm just his friend. It's normal to give compliments to friends, isn't it? His reaction did me question everything though. Not only gave he me that cute smile that I love so much but he had this reddish blush on his cheeks that I definitely want to see more. I didn't know I was capable of doing that. And after all if I flirt a little bit with him, it doesn't hurt anyone. It's not like he will suspect it because what guy would flirt with his best friend who's straight? Right no one except me. I know I'm probably only going to hurt myself with it but I will do everything to make Connor smile and to receive that cute little blush again. Because that blush isn't only cute but the way he tries to hide it with looking down is even cuter. I really hope I get to see it more.

It's so stupid that I live in Australia. I would really like to live nearby so that we could hang out on a daily basis. Not just our Skype calls. Seeing each other in real is so much better and it's even better if I can snuggle up to Connor and make him blush. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Almost all of my friends live in America or London. It would be so nice to be closer to them. Sometimes I feel like I'm an outsider because I live in Australia. You can't just go visit your friends whenever you feel like. Yes I have friends in Australia too but I'm just closer to the friends here. 

After our little talk we went to sleep. Me and Tyler shared the guestroom because there is only one. I claimed the bed though so Tyler sleeps on the air mattress. Me and Tyler didn't really talk that much when we were in our bedroom. It was mostly just random stuff. I tell you me and Tyler really talk about the weirdest stuff and boys. It's nice to have a friend who's gay and who you are close to. We can shamelessly talk about boys and their butts. Tyler always asks me if there isn't a boy that I like back in Australia. I always tell him no and that's the truth because that boy that I like doesn't live in Australia and he always added Australia to his question so I didn't lie to him. We went to sleep really fast and that wasn't normal for us if I say so. We normally go on twitter or another social media thing but not now. We were all just really tired I guess. The last thing that was on my mind before drifting into a deep sleep was how exited I am for tomorrow. I've never been this exited for shopping, it's just the thought of helping Connor choose a beanie and trying to make him blush again that gets me so exited.

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A/N
So this was my second chapter! I hope you enjoyed it. I really appreciate comments and votes so do that if you want.  I don't really have anything else to say so bye :) xxx Marlies