Wolfstar||✔️

Fifteen- Sirius

Remus Lupin just broke up with me.

The man I'm in love with broke up with me for my cousin.

How fucked is that?

I brush the thought away from my mind as everyone is called to gather together because the bride and groom have a special announcement, one of which I am already aware of

I see Remus standing next to Tonks as we gather round to hear James and Lily's announcement

"Good evening, everyone, i hope you are all well and good and that you're enjoying the party. However, James and I have an important announcement" states Lily, beaming at all her guests "James and I are happy to announce that I am pregnant. I'm fourteen weeks in and I've been given the all clear" continues Lily.

I beam at her and she smiles back, everyone applauds the happy news.

"Sirius" I hear that beautiful voice utter my name but I daren't stop and listen because it'll break my heart to see him. He's happy without you, Sirius, pull yourself together

"Sirius, please" says Remus again. Resist the temptation, Sirius. "Sirius Black!" Exclaims Remus, I stop, put a surly expression on my face and turn on my heel so that i am now face to face with the man whom i love so much, Remus Lupin.

"what? What could you possibly want now?" I ask, a little harsher than i anticipated but he doesn't need to know that "Sirius, I don't want this to ruin our friendship, before all this we were the best of friends, like peas in a pod, we can't just throw all that away" states Remus. He's right "look, I just need time, alright? You can't expect me to be fine after springing a break up on me after five years of being together and I know I wasn't the future you were looking for and that's fine but still that doesn't stop it from hurting and while you're perfectly happy with your new love interest not all of us can relate" I reply

"I'm not exactly happy about this either, Sirius" says Remus, i merely scoff at this comment "why'd you do it then?" i ask incredulously "because i knew this could never work. It was all a mere fantasy, Sirius, you can't possibly assume that this can be accepted socially? Besides, this isn't what i want in the future, i want to be married and have kids. That just can't happen with us, Sirius. As much as i will always love you, we both know deep down this can never work. Maybe all this was meant to be was stealing kisses in the broom closet or in frees or when no one was looking. It was fun while it lasted but all good things must come to an end" replies Remus

"this is why it's easier for you than it is for me" I begin, "you can accept that this was never going to work and move on whereas i keep thinking this is what i had and i fucked it up so badly that its gone and while i respect your wishes and the break up i just- this is still my fantasy, Remus. There will always be a part of me that will feel a strong sense of jealousy to you and Tonks or whoever you're with because you will always be the man I am in love with, Remus. But no matter what happens, I will always be happy for you" i continue

Remus sighs and nods "Sirius, I'm going to say this one last time. I love you" says Remus "I love you too" i reply. Remus kisses me and i never want the moment to end but he pulls away "oh and we shouldn't tell Lily and James until after the wedding because, well, it's their special day" adds Remus, i nod and he turns swiftly on his heel and walks away.

I sit at a table and watch as everyone else dances and has fun whereas i can't bring myself to enjoy anything because i'm so heartbroken it hurts.

"oh my god these shoes are murder" says Lily as she slumps down on the chair opposite me "why aren't you dancing, Pads?" asks Lily as she takes off her small heels and rubs her feet, i shrug "i only dance when asked, besides i'm taking a break" i reply "i'm happy for you, by the way, Lils" i say, she smiles at me

"thank you, Pads. this lil one is going to have an amazing god father" replies Lily, i smirk "that kid is gonna be spoiled rotten you wait" i say, Lily chuckles and shakes her head "with you James and Remus? I don't think my child will ever hear the word no" jokes Lily, i laugh and nod "well we are all a bunch of soppy push overs" i reply, she nods "indeed you are" agrees Lily

"have you thought about names?" I ask, she nods "if its a girl perhaps Harriet and if its a boy Harry" replies Lily, I smile "i like those names" i state

"good i'm glad" says Lily, "now dance with me" orders Lily, i smile and nod, getting up "yes, Ma'am" i reply, taking her hand in mine and leading her to the dance floor

we dance for several songs before James takes Lily away from me and I go back to sitting on my own watching Remus as he talks and dances happily with Tonks.

there's a pang of longing in my chest and my heart hurts for him. I love that man so much and as much as i try to hate him for breaking up with me, i can't bring myself to do it, i love him too much and i think that just makes me hate myself more than i did before because i'm too soft.

i can't help it, my heart has always and will always belong to Remus Lupin. my forbidden love.

__________________________

Hello there my lovelies!

its been a hot minute but apparently im out to break everyone's hearts and i'm terribly sorry but like idk i havent thought this one out much so who knows what could happen?

anyways, thank you all for al your love and support i love you all so much

have a beautiful day you wonderful specimens :))

stay strong
stay safe
stay wonderful
stay smiling

all my everlasting love, Blue xxx