Two is Company

Holly

"You know, I think things are okay," Holly told me one day after class. Holly noticed me flick my eyebrows in an expression of surprise. "I mean, Ryan and Andrea seem a bit nicer now." Was she trying to convince me or herself?

"Well, that's good," I said in a way to be supportive. "I still think if you feel not wanted, don't force it."

Holly gave a smile, "Well, I think things are better, and when we hang out with Cristina and Lydia, things are easier. We think we've found housing together for next term. It's a house. Honestly, I feel like since we'll have our own rooms and space, things will get better too."

Carla was with me today and Holly knew that she knew about the whole predicament. "Yeah, but like Alice said, don't go somewhere you don't feel wanted, because you'll still have to interact with them as roommates."

"Yeah," Holly said in a mild sigh. "It just sucks when they were my first friends."

"Well, you always have us," I then said.

"Thank you, guys," Holly replied warmly. "You know, we're all studying if you all want to come," she then invited Carla and I.

"You know me. I like to study at home," I said. No one ever expected me to stay on campus, but everyone still asked.

"And I'm just going to my room to nap. But thanks, Holly," Carla said in her quiet voice.

The three friends said their goodbyes and headed in opposite directions. Holly stopped by her dorm to grab a quick sandwich before getting ready to head to the top of campus to the study hall where the group met up.

Holly was born and raised in New York – the city that represented the land of the free. Everyone was liberal and trendy, rich and vegan, chill and accepting. Holly had always had a group of friends that she could just laugh and hang out with. Before coming to the island, no one had ever just blatantly tried to ditch her.

She had friends back home who liked the things she did: art, animals, cooking, and anime. She had friends from all different backgrounds. She smoked and got high and ultimately loved the life she had. But now, for the first time ever, her anxiety was beginning to stir. It was obvious that she was the odd ball out when she was with Andrea, Ryan, Lydia, and Cris.

I mean sure, with me she was fine, but Holly felt the need to always cling to Andrea and Ryan. The thing with the rest of them was that they were all into the hook-up culture. Sure, Holly had a social life, but she'd never been with anyone or had a real relationship. When those kind of conversations arose, she couldn't relate and it made her feel isolated. Oh, and let's not forget that she was allergic to alcohol. But what did she do? Still drunk to try to keep up with everyone else which left her hurling her guts out a few hours later.

It took over a month for Holly to begin to see things going down hill, but she was invested. Andrea and Ryan were her pack and although they'd begin to show that they weren't loyal to her, Holly was adamant on remaining loyal to them.

When Holly arrived to the study hall, Ryan and Andrea were both already there. They were both giggling pretty hard about something as she approached. "Hey guys!" Holly chirped. Ryan gave an upwards head nod and Andrea kind of laughed out a hi from the previous joke.

"Where's Lydia and Cris?" Holly asked as she sat down at the large table. It usually seated about eight people so with only five of them studying, they usually had reasonable space.

"Still in class," Ryan said quickly as she grabbed earbuds. Holly could tell whatever conversation they were previously having and laughing about had ceased due to her arrival, but she tried to brush it off – convince herself that whatever joke they'd made had just passed – not that they simply didn't want to include her.