Teenage Confession of Love and Mental Healtg Issues

1. Schools Out

Online school. The dreaded method of teaching children of all ages in the midsts of a pandemic. Some love it, most hate it.

I'm not here to complain about the unnecessary amount of work that my teachers believed was possible to get done, no. I'm here to talk about the last day of my sophomore year of high school and the disappointment I have towards it.

This whole week was a mess of saying goodbye to teachers and pretending that I care if I get credit or not. Many of my teachers didn't even put up a link to join classes. I only saw 4 of the 7 teachers I had this year.

Since today is Friday, and the last day, I had orchestra. Kind of an unconventional class to have online during a pandemic, but we made do. Anyways, my teacher never put out a link and the class code wasn't working. Never really does for me.

It's all real surreal. It doesn't feel like the last day of school. Hell, it doesn't feel like I've even been in school the last two and a half months. I lie about doing school work and do my own thing nearly ever day. It gets boring real quick, but there's not much else to do when your friends don't respond to your texts.

And I'm lonely.

I was just thinking about how lonely I feel. How, no matter how many people say that I can ask to them or say they're there for me, I still feel alone. I don't know if it's because I feel I need a sense of purpose, or if it's because I just won't let myself be happy.

I've strayed off the subject matter. Schools out. The last day of school. "School" isn't what I'd call it, but it seems to be the thing people are still referring to it as. I haven't learned anything in months. I might as well drop out now. But no. I have to stay in school so I can get into college so I can peruse my dream career.

That's it folks. I hope your last day was better than mine. I hope it actually felt like a last day, and not just another day jumbled up amongst all the other irrelevant days.