Our What if's

Epilogue

You may want to listen to this song ⬆️

"I'll wait."

I said with conviction and with finality, as she walked away from me. I am sure that I will wait for her, no matter how long. But I should have known, her goodnight meant goodbye.

The next morning was quite normal, little did I know, yun na pala yung huling beses na makikita ko sya. She literally disappeared, hindi ko sya mahanap sa kahit na anong social media platforms. She kept herself off the grid. Kung hindi pa nadulas nang pagkakasabi si Jessica, na nag-deactivate sya ng mga accounts, hindi ko pa malalaman.

Mula noon, palagi na akong nakikibalita kay Jess ng tungkol kay Marie, pero ang lagi lang nyang sinasabi sa akin ay "Wala pang boyfriend, wag kang mag-alala." So I held on to that.

Lumipas ang isang taon, pero walang bumalik na Marie. Doon ako nagsimulang maging suki ng Rizal park tuwing linggo. Kadalasan, pagkatapos magsimba ay doon na ako tumutuloy, unconsciously waiting for Marie.

Sobra akong nahirapan, minsan naiisip ko kung tama pa ba na maghintay ako, o kung may hinihintay pa ba ako. Tao rin ako, at may mga kahinaan din. Minsan napapasuko na ako. Pero kapag nakikita ko yung mga pictures namin sa cellphone ko nung nag-hiking kami, kapag nakikita ko kung gaano katingkad ang mga ngiti nya, nabubuhayan ako ng loob.

I gave her my word and I plan to keep it. I waited. For the next four years, every Sunday, walang palya, maliban kung may bagyo, nandoon ako palagi sa bench na iyon, kung saan kami nagkita ng hindi inaasahan. Uupo lang, magpapalipas ng oras hanggang sa lumubog ang araw, doon pa lang ako uuwi.

Kung tutuusin, kayang-kaya ko syang sundan sa Canada. But I know better, she needed the time to know what she really feels, she needed time to be ready, she has to realize everything, without me pressuring her. Kaya sinuportahan ko sya doon. I waited patiently for her.

I kept myself busy with work and I also took my masters. I fixed myself, for the better. Gusto ko kapag nagkita na kami ulit, makikita nya na I've also become a better person, for her, that is.

While most of my friends get married and are having their kids, I am still waiting for her. While everyone else is pressuring me to go and have a family of my own, I was so sure that I will still wait for her, because it's always been her for years now even without assurance.

Until that one particular Sunday.

Isasama ko sa Rizal park ang anak ni Jess na si Jake, dahil walang ibang magbabantay sa bata, busy silang mag-asawa ni Gab, at wala rin naman ang mga magulang nila para pag-iwanan kay Jake. At bilang bestfriend ni Jess at Gab, at paboritong ninong ni Jake, I took the responsibility na ako na muna ang mag-alaga kay Jake at susunduin na lang mamaya ni Jess pagkatapos nya sa seminar.

After having our lunch sa Jollibee, ipinasyal ko na si Jake sa park. Pareho kaming aliw na aliw sa paglilibot. Binilhan ko sya ng SpongeBob na balloon at ng cotton candy. Hindi ko na naramdaman ang oras. Noong napagod si Jake sa kakapasyal, doon ko na naisipan na pumunta doon sa upuan na naging tambayan ko ng ilang taon. But I didn't expect seeing someone already sitting there.

For some unknown reason, my heart started beating wildly inside my ribcage. Noong mas nakalapit na kami sa bench, na-realize ko kung bakit ganoon na lang kung makapag ligalig ang puso ko. Although some things have changed, seeing her innocent face as she stared blankly somewhere, it brought me back to five years ago. My always beautiful Marie.

I tried my best to relax. Umupo ako sa kabilang dulo ng bench at pinaupo naman sa hita ko ang medyo pagod na si Jake.
She looks so pretty even in her simple dress and sandals.