Instant InstaFamily

Grow Up

T/W: Mostly one-sided Argument, cursing, low self-esteem, crying, not feeling good enough for others. Mentions of anxiety, stress, self-consciousness, and bouts of depression.
~~~~~

She could feel the single, wet tear trickling down her hot face as she heard those words.

"Grow up, Victoria."

She wasn't sure why, but that three-worded sentence was enough to stop her entire argument in her tracks. She looked at her friend, who still bore an angry expression at her. It seemed they did not know the impact of their own words.

"God, you're so immature!"

She had been called many names in her lifetime, as most people. Her child-like appearance, mannerisms, and even topics of interest on occasion have brought people to assume she was immature. Throughout her time on earth, she realized that immature and childlikeness were two very different things,something which many did not realize.

"Do you even understand what you're saying?"

She was quite young compared to her other friends. Age was just a number, but the inflictions of society can often create a superiority complex based on it. And Victoria's number has always been lower compared to those she surrounded herself with.

"Why do I need to grow up, huh?" Victoria's voice wavered as she looked at the stranger in front of her. They gave no response.

"WHY DO I NEED TO GROW UP!?" She slammed on the counter separating them, causing the nerves in the sides of her hands to fire up in pain. That one tear from before has now become hot streams down either side of her face, her body shaking with pain.

"What, is it because of what I like? Because I like cartoons? Because I like games? That doesn't tell you anything about how grown up I am! Those give me comfort! Those bring me joy! I'm not about to give up what I love just to please you!" Her enemy said nothing in return, though now held a passionate expression. They had also been crying. Victoria continued.

"Is it- Is it because I'm not the smartest? Because I'm stupid? I fucking know that! I know I'm not as intelligent as any of them, why do you think I don't say anything when they talk? I don't want them to know I'm not as smart as them! I don't want them to leave me!" Victoria sobbed heavily, her knees buckling under her and causing her to use the counter as support. They couldn't leave her. She wouldn't know what to do if they did. Of all the friends she's had, these were the ones who stuck through thick and thin, the friends who she told more stuff to than her own friends back home. Hell, she had called one of her friends mom since practically they day she met them! She can't lose them. Not after everything they gave her and everything she loved about them.

"Is it... Is it because I'm still hurting over barely anything? I know I haven't gone through the things they did. I know I haven't had the worst life. I know that! But sometimes life hurts and I don't know how to make it stop. I haven't dealt with anything close to what everyone else deals with but it still hurts, so much," Victoria quietly sobbed. "I... I just want to make it stop...." She wiped her face with the sleeve of her flannel, which turned quite wet from her tears.

"It just hurts so much and I don't even know what's hurting."

Low self-esteem. Anxiety. A few bouts of depression. Stress. Self-consciousness. All these little things stacked up in her brain bit by bit until one day, she found herself with no more room for anything else.

"I just want to be good enough for them. Good enough for me." A bout of silence filled the small room. Victoria looked at the bathroom mirror on the other side of the counter, asking her reflection a question once more.

"Am I good enough for you?"

There was no reply.

~~~~~

A/N: I haven't written something this short in a very long time, but I'm glad I was able to do it. I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much lately, but with personal things going on as well as a major writing block and little decent inspiration, I didn't want to send out any half-assed work. If you do have any requests or recommendations, let me know. Hopefully it'll give me some motivation to write. Stay safe.