No Longer Yours

Still Don't Know My Name -Labrinth

Mates are an interesting topic, directly specific too werewolves. Our whole world surrounded the idea of finding your mate, satisfying them, creating a family. Although if you would have asked me about finding a mate years ago, I would have admitted to how much I longed to find my partner. Now it's different, I'm different.

A disaster to ever admit, my feelings of mate hood have changed drastically. I have goals and ambitions that I want to fufill especially being mateless for the past few years, I had proved everyone wrong, there was other paths to follow. I had become a healer, working to help other people, I had been able to travel with my son, moving through the small packs of the coast. Many would think it just a fable but I proved you could live without your mate.

Even being here with Xavier didn't change that, my body may be biologically inclined to have its way because it was available but I wouldn't need him to survive. My animal instinct was still unmistakably there, territorial to a point of wrongful possessiveness in a way that to me, bordered something completely darker. Although those feelings were still there to some extent, some part of had been cut away on that day from so many years ago.

"Mama!" Mason yelled at me, taking me away from my thoughts. "Is it okay if I play with some of those kids?" he asked, pointing towards the children atop the playground.

"10 minutes, then we have to go home for lunch, okay?" I didn't need a response, his feet took him to the kids as the words flowed out of me.

Snowflakes began to fall, thick and flurried, reassuring me that in two-days time we would have a white Christmas. I was thankful after much debate that Xavier allowed my family to join us on pack grounds on Christmas eve to our annual brunch the following morning. Despite the fact that I had always wanted to have large family meals, I was intensely stressed about the meal.

I wanted it to be good, Mason was thrilled to trail behind Xavier and Luke. Watching attentively, learning from the males, he looked up to them. I would never admit the slight jealousy I felt towards the males for getting all of my little boys attention.

It had freed up a lot of my time, I took the opportunity to get used to know the land. I ran the terrain allowing my wolf to connect to her knew surroundings, our pack for the time being.

I dreamed the day of when Mason would have his first shift. His wolf was strong I was sure of that, he would be a good leader, kind but firm. It would be expected that he would be the

Pre descender of Xavier now that his existence was known openly by the pack, he would be the next alpha. Whether or not we were here that would be his fate. I had thought of running, I would if I could but Mason was already too invested, in the pack and the boys. I couldn't take him from here even if I wanted to, he was happy and who am I to take him away from that.

I was cuddled up on the couch a book in hand, reading something that wasn't a textbook a first in what would have been years. "Mama" a small voice whispered, I smiled at the worn young boy in front of me. His snowsuit lay across the floor in front of the door, what mushy have been distressfully taken off independently.

"Hi Mason, where are the boys? Did they leave you somewhere?" He shook his head and I sat up, straightening the blanket under me. "What's wrong baby?" obvious concern bleeding into my voice.

"We do lots of stuff" he explained with his hands, trudging closer to me. "But sometimes I just want to come home to play" he said almost embarrassed, shyly looking away from me.

I jumped up, scooping him into my arms and wrapping the two of us back into a blanket "and come home for cuddles with Mama right?" I asked lightly, beginning to tickle the sides of his torso. He shriller, his laughter ringing through the air and I couldn't help but laugh too.

It wasn't long after we settled that he fell asleep, mouth agape snuggled right into the coop between my arms and stomach. The door slammed open and Xavier and Luke stood there panicked. Their bodies easing when they saw Mason in my arms, I noticed. I raised an eyebrow at them, "you thought you lost Mason?"

Xaviers cheeks flushed an unfamiliar pink and he shook his head in disagreement but Luke had already began to yelp out a relieved "yes".

Although I thought of telling off the boys for not keeping a closer eye on Mase I chose not too. "He doesn't like to wander far from me" I said slowly, watching my sons eyes flutter a little from the noise. "It was something that we adapted, our wolves trail to be closer together" I looked up to the guys, "it was just the two of us for a long time".

They both nodded but their eyes revealed they didn't, they wouldn't. Luke called that he had to go attend to some pack business after he hanged Masons snowsuit up. I'm sure it was just a ploy to get my mate and I to spend some time together.

Xavier left the room, returning with arms full of movie snacks. Although I would normally decline, the sour sugared candies were calling my name. Xavier sat on the far end of the couch awkwardly, turning on the tv to a superhero movie marathon. He was stiff, moving mechanically, anytime I reached out to flip a page of my book he would react.

"So do you want to hangout?" Xavier finally spoke, the soles of his feet firmly on the ground, sitting so close to the edge of the couch that he thought he might fall off.

I popped another candy in my mouth, setting my book down "I thought that's what we were doing right now?".

He turned to me his eyebrows shaped with uncertainty, looking for reassurance "we are? Right now? We are."

I nodded smoothly, "yes Xavier, that's what we are doing right now. Just hang out with me like you would Luke. Lots of food, movies, video games, just relaxing. That's what friends do." His body reacted to the last part and I knew I didn't need to say, but I knew I needed a reminder.

He didn't say very much, but he became more relaxed even leaning back into the couch, his legs stretching in front of him. One arm casually draping across the back of the seat, observing me with a small smile across his face.

"Okay, I can do that. But I definitely will think about you differently then the way I do Luke" he murmured, a smirk dancing across his full lips. I choked on the candy in my mouth, glaring at him. Trying to not wake the sleeping boy in my lap. I glared at him.

"In your dreams." I hissed out between deep breaths. Readjusting Mason more comfortably within my arms.

"Believe me, you are." Turning back to the television, he began to banter on about the festivities in the upcoming days. His extended family that would be arriving the following morning. As if the colour of my cheeks could be ignored.

Screw biology.