My whole body was trembling. All the eyes were on me and my voice was caught in my throat. I tried to close my eyes, I tried to ignore the fear that was rising inside my body, but it was impossible. My knees started to weaken, then I broke down.
-
" Sierra, it can't go on like this anymore, " the teacher eyed me angrily and I sunk down in my seat. It really wasn't my fault at all that I was afraid to stand in front of the whole class and hold a presentation. I'm not the one who controls my fears, and it was scary, like seriously. The teacher had made me stay back a bit after the class was done, she obviously wanted to talk to me about my fear of standing in front of people.
" I'll do it better next time, teacher, I promise, " I said quietly and she sighed, shaking her head.
" You've been saying that for the past weeks, this is serious, Sierra. Think about oral exams, you'll fail if you don't get your fear away! " I kept looking at my shoes as she spoke. This wasn't comfortable at all.
" We've decided that one of your classmates could help you with your problem, what do you think? " She asked and I only nodded. It would be nice to have Shan and Eleanor to help me.
" We asked Julian to help you, and he agreed, " the teacher said bluntly and I stared at her with huge eyes. My heart started beating hardly against my chest. Out of everyone in my class, why Julian?
" B-But teacher, " I asked hesitantly, " doesn't Julian have football practices everyday after school? I don't want to be a burden for anyone, " I mumbled, and the teacher shook her head.
" He said it was alright, and your hours after school with him will start tomorrow, you may leave now, " the teacher looked down at her papers and I bid her a short 'bye' before walking out of the class.
" What took you so long? Did the teacher try touch you or something? " Shan asked from her spot on the floor by the lockers next to Eleanor.
" Yeah, what did she say anyway? " Eleanor asked curiously. I just sighed and walked over to my locker to get my jacket.
" Hey, tell us! Did anything bad happen? " Shan asked in a worried tone and I turned shook my head assuringly at her.
" Teacher assigned someone to help me get over my fear for performing, " I started, " guess who? " both of them gaped.
" Urban fish eye? " Eleanor asked, tilting her head to the side and Shan bursted out laughing. I laughed as well and shook my head. Out of all people, of course they would guess him.
" Ew, no! You won't believe it if I said it anyway, " I sang and they looked at me weirdly, " ... It's Julian. " Eleanor was blowing up bubbles with her gum, but immediatly choked as I said it. Shan gaped and let out a huge squeal, which was followed by Eleanor's who spat her chewing gum out on the floor.
" No fucking way! Are you serious?! Did you tell the teacher about your huge crush on him? " Shan babbled and I grinned widely, shaking my head furiously.
" I guess I was lucky, " I flipped my short hair playfully and both of them glomped me, giving me a huge bear hug.
-
It was awkward.
Like really really awkward.
We both sat in silence at each end of the bench, not uttering a single word. Somehow, the whole class got to know about Julian helping me, and it wasn't any help when they kept opening the door to throw in some flirtatous remarks and making heart with their hands, and even kissing sounds. They all knew that I was in love with Julian, even the teachers knew! That's probably why they told him to help me. He sat with his laptop on his lap, grinning ever so often at his facebook conversations with this girl named Tori. Why the fuck did he even agree to this if he wasn't going to help me?
