The Universe inside her eyes

Lost in the sky

" Can I ever be able to do it ? Am I worthless ? Am I a loser ? " She thinks 。。。。。。

2016 everything was going on as usual and everything was like a fairytale everyone was beautiful everything was magical . She never knew what the coming future holds in her life .

She was happy . She got great marks in her grade . She was a kind hearted girl . She always helped others . She never left someone alone when they needed her the most . She was a silent girl. She doesn't talk much outside but she had a loud mind , She used to speak a lot inside she used to think a lot about different things .

She used to study with her father . She couldn't live without her father . She used to visit a lot of places with her father . She studied hard and she scored good marks . Her father was a talented person . He always taught her to be a nice and kind girl . He taught her to never have proud on what she had . He taught her to never show off something . He taught her to study english and a lot of subjects . He used to help her in school homework's . He was a nice person with a lot of talents inside .

2017 New Year : 1st January in the basement of her flat there was the New Year party . She went down with her parents . Everybody was happy . Everybody was curious about the new year She was sitting there silent . One of the Aunty told her to sing or recite a poem . She was really shy and afraid but she recited a poem in front of everyone . Everyone was happy and clapped for her . Specially her father , He came near her and he patted her " Good daughter, I am so happy and proud of you Isha" her father said .

Days passed by , The month ends . The new month February was really magical for her . She was so happy that her final exams are coming near and she will reach a new standard, grade 9th. She studied a lot . After the final exams finished , she went to the school for her results , her handwork payed her a sweet fruit . She scored good marks and passed well. She was in standard 9th now. She was really exited to go inside her new classroom and study the new books and meet different science teachers . She celebrated her birthday in March 29 a lot of her relatives came everyone gifted her . She was the most happiest child . She hugged her father and said " Never leave me alone , I will always make you proud and I will be there for you whenever you need me " Her father said " I promise you I will never leave you alone "

In March 30 she heard her parents talking about visiting a place and she was so much excited because she like to travel a lot . She told her parents that she too want to go but her parents wasn't allowing her to go with them . She cried but at last they agreed . She wrote an application and then she showed that to her principal and the principal agreed her take of leave . So her flight was at 6th of April but she noticed something unkind she noticed that her father was not healthy anymore she saw that her father wasn't able to walk and her father was brought by the airport wheelchair and they helped her father to went inside the airplane . She was feeling like something is wrong but her parents didn't told her . When the airplane landed she again saw that her father was brought outside by a wheelchair . Everyone was speaking english there and her english was not good . The wheelchair attendant was talking in english and she was having difficulties to speak . Her father spoke english so fluently with the attendant and she was so shocked and amazed . She said " Wow, Please teach me english your english is perfect father " Her father said " Yes , I will teach you english dear ."

At first they went inside the hospital ....... She was shocked she was thinking why they came inside the hospital .......... Her father was kept inside there ....... Her family went out to see a hotel out there . Her father's health was getting worse everyday............

he was admitted to the hospital but he didn't wanted to stay in the hospital he wanted to come back to the hotel and that time  she didn't  knew anything ..... She used to go sit with her father but he used to say don't come near me . Once her father fell down in the bathroom ...
She was really shocked and scared and  helped him to get up and then they took him to hospital her father had an operation in his liver that time also she didn't knew anything.... her father didn't wanted to stay in the hospital he forced to come back home ... everyone came back home ... her father's conditions was getting worse day by day months passed by in the hospitals ...

he used to shout in pain

Her family had no choice but to keep her in her relatives house ... She lived there , her relatives were monsters , they talked a lot of bad things in front of her like " your mother is uneducated, she doesn't know anything " she was getting sick day by day because of their cruel words . It effected her brain directly ..

June 12th 2017 : She was with her father , In front of her ... she saw her father vomiting blood .... She was so scared , she was afraid what had happened to him suddenly ... she cried in front of him and she went close to him ... her father said " Give me my phone " she said " But papa , If I give you your phone how will I contact you " She was not able to hold all that and she went inside her room .... her neighbors and family helped her father to go inside the ambulance and her father was shouting in pain ... She was crying so much because she didn't knew what to do....

June 14th 2017: She was in her neighbor's house and she was really happy . She thought this time also her father will came back from the hospital . Her neighbor came close to her having a sad face "he is no more in this world " 14 june 2017 that pain ... She still feel that time she thought something ... is wrong  she didn't knew what like she can't ... she wasn't able to stop her tears she felt like the ground went upside down and she can't step on she had an idol of one god he broke completely and she didn't knew but from that day onwards her time stopped she forgot to smile even though she faked her smile she still can't take it inside that he died she still can't believe this ........

Years  Passed by . But she stopped her life . She was depressed . She used to cry everyday but she hided her tears . Her grades were decreasing everyday . She didn't knew anything . She didn't knew what to do anymore. she was like a dead body just living outside but inside she was dead .

2020 new year new things but she stopped her life and she still lives in her past in her fathers memories she is just too afraid to face the reality of this world she is afraid that she can't do this she can't do anything anymore because her father is no more .............

But one day she realized that life is all about ups and downs .. she was destroying her own life thinking about something that already happened . Life is beautiful go on with it . It is the law of the nature ..

" I am not a loser . I can do it . I will achieve my dreams . I can do it no matter what others say . I am worth more than diamonds . I love myself I love being me and I am me no matter what others said I will fight for my life " She concludes:)

That girl is me . My past holds me from achieving something I am just too afraid I feel I can't do this because My father is no longer alive ... But I am saying it wrong ... I am me and I can do it I don't need anyone to achieve my dreams and goals I am strong enough. God is always there for me .

I would like to conclude that , Please be strong no matter what you face in your life because when you become weak the evil comes and attacks you and makes u weaker but if you stay strong god will be there for you .

Thank you 😊