Stay Strong: The Diaries of a Cutter. (On Hold!)

Chapter 2: You're a Lie!

Chapter 2: You’re a Lie.

~Carter~

I sat at the long rectangular table with a plate of food which included fruit, a toasted bagel with cream cheese and some chocolate. I sipped my coffee as I carefully watched as Doctor Wallace told us to introduce ourselves. I sat beside Sabal and some chick named Michelle. Sabal sat quietly and kept shifting her gaze around the room with caution. There was supposed to be twelve of us but right now there are only eleven. Doctor Wallace smiled as she looked around the room with her nose high in the air. Her brown hair was tied back and out of her face. I sluggishly sulked in my seat.

“There is one person missing but sadly he can’t make it until tomorrow.” She spoke.

“He?” The chubby black haired girl asked with intensity in her voice. Doctor Wallace nodded and smiled reassuringly to the chubby girl.

“He’s a sweet boy; he was raised right so he won’t make a pass at any of you.” She spoke reassuringly. I watched as a few of the girls pouted and made sad faces. But the chubby girl seemed really nervous and anxious. She shifted in her seat; I noticed she had one green eye and one brown eye. How strange. She scuffed and sat back in her seat.

“Doesn’t matter he has a dick. And it’ll do most of the thinking.” She spat flatly. Sabal chuckled and shook her head slightly.

“And a guy’s dick’s brain is bigger than the one in his head.” Elise stated proudly. Elise and Sabal are friends apparently, upstairs Elise introduced herself as Sabal as a prank to confuse people. I’m in on it now which is good. I couldn’t help but comment.

“That must be one big dick if it does all the thinking.”

“Carter!” Doctor Wallace snapped at me annoyed. I lifted my line of sight to meet hers. “-We do not talk about others in that manner.” She spat at me with a calm and soothing way that got way under my skin. I sank back into my seat and watched as Sabal and Elise snickered at me.

“Sorry.” I muttered and remained quiet. I watched as the name game began starting at the other side of the table starting with an older girl, she wasn’t that much older than us. She had long straight burgundy coloured hair and blue eyes that matched her milky white skin. She had a silver stud over her top lip which means it’s a Monroe piercing. She also had gagged ears and lots of tattoos making her body into a piece of art. She had a friendly smile as she waved to the rest of the room.

“Hello, I’m Sophia.” She introduced with a slight unknown accent. Everybody waved at her with a friendly welcome. Doctor Wallace looked at Sophia and smiled.

“Would you care to tell everybody why you’re here?” She instructed. Sophia’s entire body recoiled slightly as she was forced to tell us why she was here. I didn’t think it was right that we had to tell people we barely knew why we’re in rehab. Sophia sighed heavily and rolled up her hoodie sleeves to reveal tread marks on her arms.

“I’m here because I’m a drug user. I’m addicted to Heroin.” She announced making everybody’s jaws drop to the floor. But I wasn’t judging her. It wouldn’t be right too. The next girl to speak was sickly skinny with sunken in greenish blue eyes and short mousy brown hair. She looked frightened and nervous; she couldn’t have been older than thirteen maybe fourteen but never judge a book by its cover. She sucked her tongue slightly and sighed heavily, blowing out slowly.  

“I’m Keely Ryan, I’m fifteen, and I’m from Manhattan, New York. I suffer from depression and anorexia.” She introduced herself properly. I swallowed hard as I gave her a small wave. The next girl had long chocolate brown hair to match her brown eyes. She was extremely thin as well and she was pale. She looked to be about my age.

“I’m Michelle Morrison, I’ve seventeen. I’m from East L.A, California. I suffer from bulimia and I cut.” She stated with a shy voice. The next girl was the paranoid girl, she was tall but she was chubby with short black hair, like everybody else in the room she was pale. And the one thing that sticks out most is her eyes the left one was green and the right one was brown. How peculiar? She sat up in her seat and cleared her voice.

“I’m Sarah Derdzinski, I’m fifteen. I’m from Ashton, Ontario and I cut.” She spoke very shyly, like a child in a room of strangers. She was honestly adorable. The next girl in line had black hair with blue tints. She was really; really skinny which made her already deep brown eyes darker from the sunken in sockets. She seemed shy as well but she was a bit more open with her body language. While everybody else was sitting with their arms either crossed over their chests, in their pockets or touching their faces she was sitting quit comfortably with her arms resting on the arm rests. I found that odd. She flickered a small smile from the corner of her mouth before looking around the room.

“My name is Mayra Force. I’m sixteen and I’m from New York City. I suffer from anorexia.” She spoke profoundly. The next girl in line was to my right, she sat beside Elise and Elise sat next to me. This girl had short black hair with hazel eyes that were framed by black line of her glasses. Her skin was pale but it was sun kissed. She brought her hand away from her mouth as she was biting her thumb nail nervously. She seemed shier than the others, like she was ashamed of something.

“My name is Melissa Olmeda, I’m sixteen. I’m from New Mexico and I’m addicted to pain killers.” She said rather quickly as if she just wanted to get it over with, like taking off a band aid, ripping it off quickly. Elise looked around the room with a nervous smile.

“I guess it’s my turn.” She muttered before sitting up in her seat. “-I’m Elise Sides. I’m fourteen going onto fifteen. I’m from Rockland, Maine and I cut myself.” She said softly. Her gaze ran over to me as it was my turn. I sucked in a deep breath and sighed heavily.

“My name is Carter Ashlyn. I’m seventeen and why I’m here and where I'm from is none of your damn business.” I spoke the truth. I didn’t want why I was here to be know. But Doctor Wallace cleared her throat and gave me the gaze that said I had to tell them. I shook my head in protest and laughed hardily.

“No, it’s patient confidentiality. If I don’t want to tell them then you can’t do shit.” I said flatly, looking at all the nonjudgmental gazes. My eyes wandered over to Sabal as it was her turn. She smiled but her smile hides something, a pain and fear.

“I’m Sabal Wiley, I’m sixteen and from Florida. I cut.” She spoke flatly as well. This was getting tiring and to be frank I was bored and tired. The last girl had candy purple hair with deep brown eyes. Her left eye brow was pierced and she had an industrial piercing in her right ear. She had a small tan but she looked exhausted.  

“I’m Max Wends, I’m seventeen. I’m from Scranton, Pennsylvania and I cut myself.” She said in such a tire tone. Finally this was over, it seemed to take a lot longer than planned. Doctor Wallace stood up and began to slide a binder across the table to each of us.

“This is your activity binder. All your work will be documented into this binder over the next three six months.” She told us with a graceful voice. “-But this is for another day. All of you must be exhausted as you just spent the day travelling. Go to the rooms and rest for the day. I’ll see you all at dinner tonight.” She said and just like that I was up in my room with my guitar and notebook.