i guess i'm writing twice today.
i can't even call what i'm writing a poem or anything cool.
i guess i am writing just to get my thoughts out.
i have so many places and options to put my thoughts somewhere, but i guess today i felt like putting my thoughts here.
i can't even say i feel bad these days.
i can never tell if the things i say are lies or not.
i don't know myself that well. and at the same time i'd like to say that i am the person who knows myself best.
i don't know why i had to grow up and still be so indecisive. a lot of people hate me for it, i'm sure.
i'm sure a lot of people are tired of comforting me when i feel like this as well. it's a monthly or occasional occurrence that i've never been able to figure out.
i wish i could put myself to use. if only i could do anything well enough to put my mind into it and just get to somewhere.
this life stuff is hard. trying to figure out how i want to live in society is hard.
something like a major or what education i get is supposed to decide my place in life? there are so many options i could choose from. i have an idea, or more of a vision where i would like to be at some point, but i'm not quite sure which option i should pick to do right now to get there.
this is hard.
not to mention i keep watching everyone working really hard right now too. i feel motivated and demotivated at the same time.
*tsk tsk*
i'll figure it out in the morning.
