𝓲 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝔂𝓸𝓾 - a tokomaru fanfic :)

the wedding.

TW: sort of mention of eating problems? weight mentions.

looking at the mirror in this tiny yet crowded room made me feel alone. i hated looking at my reflection nowadays.

i shook my head, it wasn't my time to be in my head. it's makotos day.. not mine. standing up, admiring the dress. a beautiful, light pink dress. ugh, i look so... skinny. i have to try harder to live, for her atleast.
"you look amazing, Komaru."

i turned around to see my brother for the first time today. i took in every detail of his tux, his bow tie colour matching my dress.
"Makoto. you look so good!" i said with a smile, wrapping my arms around my big brother.

"can't believe the day is here." he said, i could tell he was blushing too.

"byakuya is a lucky guy to have you!"

"i'm even luckier to have him." makoto told me, ending the hug between us. however, his facial expression changed drastically. from a huge smile to a worried frown.

"if you're not okay, please tell me. i get it."

i know what he's talking about. i haven't been myself since i found out about toko. oh, toko. i'm sorry.

"i'm fine shut up! this is your day and we are going to enjoy it!!" i reassured my brother, putting on a fake face.

the ceremony was beautiful. i'm jealous of them in a way. they get the happiness i yearn for.. with her. maybe if i stayed, things could've been different. toko, it's been so long.
i miss you. do you miss me? wherever you are?

"hey, komaru?"
i turned around to face byakuya. me and him don't talk much, but i do consider him a friend.
"yes?" i said, with a smile on my face.
"thank you.. i know it must be hard, pretending to be fine.. well i personally can't imagine.. but, makoto is thrilled, and he is so happy that you're getting better."
to my surprise byakuya smiled at me. ive only ever seen him smile for my brother. i smiled back.
"anytime."

after the long day was over, i got a ride home from aoi.

"thanks for taking me home, aoi, i appreciate it so much, honestly." i smiled, getting out of her car.

"anytime! see you next week!" she said, zooming off into the distance.

entering my small little apartment, i immediately removed the dress, although it was extremely beautiful, it didn't make for comfortable outfit. throwing on my shorts and a random top, i threw myself onto my bed, turning on a movie.. but i don't remember what happened after that.

i'm pretty sure.. i fell asleep? all i remember was that knock on the door. and me, waking up to investigate.