We Were Destined to be together

Part XVI

I still can't believe we kissed each other. She was so delicate when I held her in my arms. Her lips were soft like a baby's. I was intoxicated with her smell. I have tasted all the delicacies of the world but nothing can be compared to what I tasted today. I couldn't hear when the director said cut at least not for the first couple of times. I guess Pratiksha was also in some kind of trance as she didn't push me back either. When the director shouted I was back to reality. I moved back and Pratiksha got up and sat on the bed. The director congratulated and offered us to watch the scene on the monitor. We both went near it and saw with an awkward silence. The rest of the shoot got over smoothly as there were no further scenes of us together. Pack up was announced and we still hadn't talked to each other since that kiss happened. I decided to broke the ice as it was killing me inside if she is not comfortable.

Aks:- Hey Pratiksha. You've become mute or what. How was the shoot? You haven't spoken anything since morning.

Pra:- Nothing much. I'm just too tired. I need to hit the bed.

Aks:- I just wanted to ask. Is everything fine right? Like you are not uncomfortable.

Pra:- What? No Akshat. Why would I be uncomfortable. You are mad. I'm just tired. I will see you tomorrow. Bye.

She left leaving me puzzled if she really meant it or just acted out to be comfortable in front of me. Did I go a bit over board but I didn't force her for anything. I wish I could just read her mind. I decided to light up a cigerrate to feel a bit relaxed.

I was puzzled the entire day. Why I felt so good after kissing him? I wasn't supposed to feel like this. I'm with Rahul. It's like cheating on him. How can I do this? Why I felt numb for a second when he wrapped me in his arms? Why his cologne was blinding my senses? Why I felt so safe in his embrace? Why my lips were feeling his chest over his shirt wishing that fabric to be not there. Why when he looked at me I got lost in his eyes that I couldn't register what was I doing? Why I felt that urge to kiss him deep? When he placed his lips on mine why was I transferred to some another world? Why I felt so good when he started nibbling my lips softly making them to want him more? Why I parted my lips when it had to be a soft kiss? Why I welcomed his tongue inside my mouth and even fought for dominance? Why I enjoyed the collision of our tongues and the taste of his mouth? Why I kept our lips touched and found it beautiful? Why I improvised our kiss which wasn't supposed to be like this? Why I felt to be in that moment for a bit more? Why I felt the sudden hotness in between my thighs? Why I felt he could just take me and make love to me? I wasn't supposed to think all these still I did. I haven't felt like this before. He was my friend until now. I can't tell what is he for me from now on. He is engaged and will be married in less than 3 weeks. I'm committed to a 5 years long relationship. What just happened today? It should not have happened. I love Rahul and he loves me but was it his indifference towards me to be blamed? May be the love and care that I had been craving for since last 3 months to be blamed. May be the lack of physical intimacy between me and Rahul since 3 months is to to blamed. I've loved him the longest and I'm just missing his touch. I feel guilty even now but I think I just need to let it go. It was just a moment which lasted for few minutes and holds no significance in either of our lives. I closed my eyes with a prayer to let go off this feeling once and for all and nothing happened.