Struggling

When the music begins,

When the spotlights shine,

You knew that your nightmares were about to begin

Oh, how you hoped,

Oh, how you craved,

Something,

ANYTHING!

Your fingers go cold,

Blood rushing in your ears,

And yet...

Nothing gone wrong.

The music continues,

The spotlights shine,

You feel a tear trickling down your cheek.

You wanted to scream,

You wanted to weep,

You wanted to tear away from this room.

So dark,

Yet so beautiful.

You felt your face,

Tearstained.

You felt angry,

You hated myself,

You hated how I was.

Why?!

WHY?!

You wanted to scream.

You had a million questions,

You had a million things to ask the world.

You were struggling,

Struggling to keep yourself free,

Struggling to be you.

You knew what what they would say:

'It's okay, it's not your fault.'

Yet, why?

You felt their stares scorch your back,

You knew you had cried.

Shame.

You knew you were free,

You had freedom.

At least--that was what they'd tell you.

Yet you were trapped,

Or else why had you not run away?