Love, par sex ke baad (Love, but after sex)

Chapter 23

Salil held me to him for what felt like hours after we made love. When we finally dressed to go out, I felt my stomach twist. If Niana was making innuendos then, what will she do now, I wondered. Salil seemed to feel the same way and gave my hand a squeeze "if you let her break you, what's going to hold me together?" he asked. I felt my throat constrict, and I nodded to let him know I was with him.

I walked straight to the kitchen to check on Arti while Salil joined everyone else to watch the television.

"Bhabhi, are you okay?" asked Sahil walking into the kitchen.

I smiled at him; he was a good kid "Yup." He kept staring at me, and I couldn't quite figure out his expression. My smile faltered. "Do you want something?" I asked him.

"Why don't we take a walk?" he asked with the same grim expression. I suddenly felt uncomfortable. Sahil and I weren't exactly friends; rather, we had barely spoken to each other.

"Oh! Maybe later, I have to help Arti," I said evasively.

"I am sure Arti can manage on her own," he said, not taking his eyes off me. I nodded and started moving towards the living room to tell Salil, but Sahil held the back door open. I moved towards the door slowly; there was no way for me to tell Salil that I was going for a walk with his brother. Even though Sahil hadn't shown anything but concern, I didn't know how much Niana had told him.

"Tell Salil I am walking in the backyard with Sahil if he needs something," I called out to Arti.

We were both strolling; I was waiting to understand what he wanted to talk about alone. I heard him suck in an audible breath and said, "What's going on, bhabhi?" My heart tugged at the concern in his voice.

"What do you mean, Sahil?" I asked, feigning innocence. I didn't want to create more rifts in the family.

"Bhabhi, we haven't really hung out, but I can tell you aren't the kind to shout for no reason," he said. So, he was just worried about this morning. He doesn't know about anything else. I felt a wave of sadness surge through me. I was hoping for an ally.

"I just don't like the carpets getting dirty," I said, trying to sound cheerful as if nothing was wrong. Sahil stopped walking, and I turned around to look at him. His expression told me he wasn't going to buy my bullshit.

"Something is the matter, bhabhi. I don't know" Sahil hesitated. Maybe he knew something. I took a step towards him.

"Don't know what?" I asked.

He took another deep breath. It seemed like he was making up his mind about something. "Mom changed. Some time ago, she just stopped loving Bhai. I don't know why," he said. His voice was full of hurt. I remained silent, and he continued, "She loved him more than she loved any of us and then she didn't. She couldn't look at him. We tried to ask Bhai but he won't say a thing, and you know mom, no one can ask her anything". I nodded at him but didn't say anything. I didn't want him to stop. "When you both got married, we thought things will be alright. She seemed happy at the wedding. We were all hoping this was going to be a new beginning" his voice was shaking now.

So they all noticed that Niana treated Salil horribly, but no one said anything to her. I felt anger surge through me. "So, no one can dare to ask your mom why she treats my husband and me so horribly," I said, annoyed. He shook his head, imploring me to understand, "No bhabhi, we can't. No one has ever questioned her, no one can. We all depend on her support too much".

"So much that you don't care about your brother anymore," I spat angrily.

He looked up at me as if I had slapped him "if I didn't care about him, I wouldn't be standing here talking to you." His eyes had welled up with tears, and I felt horrible for getting angry at him.

"I am sorry, Sahil. I didn't mean" I didn't know what to say. He shook his head "no, I understand how you must see all of us on one side and Bhai and you on the other."

"But bhabhi, we really love him," he said. I nodded. He continued, "Mom was hot and cold the first day. We all heard you guys shout in the kitchen. I don't know why she was getting mad at the poor maid" he swallowed the lump in his throat. I shook my head to tell him it wasn't important.

"But yesterday, we were all so happy to see her laugh with Bhai. It's been years since I saw Bhai smile like that, and this morning, I don't know what happened to her," he said. His voice was shaking badly; I could see he was trying hard to not let the tears in his eyes fall. I pressed my own lips to keep myself from crying. How could I tell this young boy that his mother did not like his brother having sex with his wife? It was not the kind of thing you tell your brother-in-law. "We thought you will make her happy again. We thought she was mad at Bhai because he wasn't getting married, but now she is mad at you too" he swallowed and looked away from me.

"I know she is mad at me. I am trying, but I seem to be failing miserably," I said, not trying to stop my tears any longer.

"Did you" he paused, thinking which boundaries to cross and then plunged on, "did you and Bhai fight?"

"What?" I asked, surprised. "No! No, we didn't," I said truthfully. Yes, I had been hysterical, but I won't call that us fighting. Yes, I had hit him, but again, it wasn't exactly a fight because he hadn't tried to stop me, really. He nodded and swallowed his tears. "Fix them, bhabhi, please fix them," he begged me.

"I want to Sahil, but I don't know how," I said in a small voice.