Mr Americano - ALAN RICKMAN fanfic

Chapter 16 - Irresistible

[M rating for this chapter!] 

23rd December

I turn the key to the apartment with only one thing on my mind – bed. How I got through the day with this hellacious hangover I'll never know. I barely step foot in the door when Scott yells from the kitchen,

"Beck! Beck, come here..."

He sounds happy. Unusually happy. I take off my coat and scarf and head through and he's standing there beaming in his suit with a bottle of champagne.

"Well Beck, we can officially buy this place. The promotion is mine!"

"Ohh, wow, that's...that's great," I smile, aware it's tarnished with my concealed lies, but trying not to let it show.

I'd been so wrapped up in Alan I'd completely forgotten all about it.

"Well bloody hell, I thought you'd be happier than that."

Scott shakes my shoulder and hands me a glass of champagne, that quite frankly after last night I could barf over.

"This place, it's going to be ours!" he beams.

As I process this news my head begins to fog and I can't think straight.

"C'mon, we're going out to celebrate!"

Tired beyond measure, all I want to do is jump into bed, but ten minutes later and here I am applying makeup ready to go out for dinner.

..............

"Beck I'm sorry for the way I treated you," Scott apologizes, taking my hand over the table. He booked in at the Japanese restaurant we ate at when I first moved to London.

His eyes are filled with sincerity, and for the first time in what feels like forever, I catch a glimpse behind them of the man I love, as though he'd been there all along, trapped, pre-occupied and is now beginning to resurface.

Don't fall for it, a voice whispers, but I can't help it. I see him, and it almost brings me to tears.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you, Beck. No more. That money - you can have it back. I'm sorry I took it, it's just...well, you shouldn't hide things from me. You know how stressed I've been with work and our finances. I just couldn't believe you would do that and go behind my back even if it was for your play. You've got to get a grip on what's right Beck. This place comes first. I need you with me. Forever, remember? It was right here that we said it. Do you remember that night? Promise you'll never hide anything from me again."

My gut drops, thinking of Alan. I answer on autopilot.

"I won't."

This is the guy you fell in love with,' a voice of mine whispers. You still love him, deep down. I stare back into Scott's eyes trying to find him. Maybe things could be ok now. Maybe he'll realise.

But what about Alan? I ask my conscience.

No, get a grip. It's over. It's not going to work, not with a ladies man like that. You're too different, he said so himself. He's over twice your age. The fame, the opposites in life styles...You're incompatible. It'll never work out.

"Say it, Beck. Say forever."

With my eyes staring beyond his, still irrationally attached to Alan, I answer.

"Forever."

.................

Christmas

11:20pm

After a relaxed Christmas Day, inundated with gifts from Scott, he is currently in a coma full of booze and food tucked into bed, and I'm mindlessly watching overplayed Christmas specials under a blanket in fluffy Christmas socks with a glass of red wine.