Wolfstar||✔️

Nineteen- Sirius

After Dumbledore leaves theres a prolonged moment of silence before James clears his throat

"Sirius, we need to discuss something with you" says James, i have a feeling i know where this is going "I'll leave" states Remus, Lily waves him off "don't be silly, Remus; you can stay" says Lily nonchalantly"go ahead" i say trying to sound nonchalant

"we want you to be our secret keeper" says James "it makes sense, its also about Harry's safety and I mean, you are his godfather. We aren't forcing you to do this it's just that you've been James' friend for a million years and we've grown close. James and I, we trust you. This is only if you want to, we understand the sort of pressure and responsibility this places on you and so we can understand if you say no but you are our first choice" continues Lily, both James and Lily seemingly sending apologetic looks to Remus who doesn't seem to care that I was picked over him

i think about it for a moment "Lily, James, whilst I am flattered at the offer and the thought that you guys entrust me with your life I just can't take that offer. James, we've been best friends since I can remember, you know I'd take any one of those unforgivable curses for you, same goes for you Lily, but to think that I had three lives in my hands, what if something went wrong, what if somehow Voldemort finds you and we lose one if not all of you, I couldn't bare the thought of it being my fault two of my best friends die. This isn't me saving myself this is me saving you guys, I suggest letting Remus or Peter being your secret keepers because I love you guys too much to do this. Not only that but if i knew where you were i'd want to see you regularly and as much as i'd try to restrain myself i don't know how long i'd be able to go without seeing you and that would give it away wouldn't it? That's a reason why i think it would be more sensible to let someone else be your secret keeper" I explain

"mate, I understand completely and I know you'd give your life in a heartbeat if you knew it would save my skin so I don't blame you for thinking it too easy to just hand it off to you. So, Remus, that leaves it down to you, will you be our secret Keeper in Sirius' place?" asks James in an almost businesslike tone, Remus sighs

"I'm afraid I agree with Sirius on this one, I know you guys too well and we lived with you at one point, I'm also likely to want to visit you a lot and what with Sirius and I still in the same house i'm bound to break and tell him too and then that's two people visiting you its too risky, i think Peter is the only one that would be able to withstand being away from you guys for long periods of time and hold his tongue all the same" says Remus with a sorrowful, apologetic look on his face

"completely understandable, Remus" says Lily softly, we turn to Peter who, despite the situation, seems the calmest of the lot of us "Peter, would you be able to keep the job as our secret keeper?" asks Lily hopefully, Peter nods, almost beaming at the question "of course, I would be honoured to" says Peter.

that's that settled. James knows I would die for him if I had to, he knows the lengths i'd go to to save him or to protect him but there's a line and secret keeper that's crossing the line, i would be bound to tell Remus or mess it up in some way because I have a reputation for notoriously fucking things up, take my relationship with Remus for example, he felt trapped whilst we were together, I made him feel trapped, I fucked it all up.

and yes, whilst the wedding was over a year ago I still think about Remus all the time, i still love him, my heart still yearns for him and I think I will forever love Remus Lupin, he will always be my forbidden love.

eventually everyone starts leaving until it's just me, Lily and James and of course Harry but he's sleeping in a little rocking crib next to Lily.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't do it guys, I had my best interests at heart. Don't worry though, I'll do my best with the Order to fend off this Voldemort bloke and his followers, like i said, i'd go to great lengths to protect you guys i just couldn't be secret keeper" i state, letting out what I needed to once everyone had gone

"Sirius, we understand perfectly well and we know you'll be fighting in the Order because you wont only be fighting your duties, you'll be fighting our share as well so we know you'll be kicking some dark arts ass" replies James and i can't help but smirk

"what's going on between you and moony anyways, you two seem..off" asks James, i shrug "i don't know, Prongs, he's messing around with Tonks but at the same time i seem to be somewhat of a regular one night stand, I think he's merely confused at the moment" i reply, sighing

"you can't let him use you as a toy" states Lily, i shrug "if it helps him then it helps him, i'm not fussed anymore. Besides, my sole focus now is your protection so no more worrying about me, all your worries should be about each other, your beautiful son, and yourselves" I reply

"when did you decide to play hero?" jokes James, i playfully shove him "when you became a father" i retort smirking

"i should be off anyways" i state, i hug them both and leave their house, disapparating to my own, realizing that may be the last time i ever see my best friends again.

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hello there my lovelies!

so obviously i didn't invent these characters or their story lines so this is merely my version of the event for you to enjoy at your leisure. Hope this was enjoyable though :))

anyways, thank you for all your love and support i lobe you all so much!

have a beautiful day you wonderful specimens :))

all my love, Blue xxx