The Journey Towards Yourself

Chapter 6

As soon as Derrick and I were both done admiring the view from the top of the building he took my hand in his and walked me back down to my room.

"Thank you Ms. Summers. I look forward to our next adventure."

"Of course, Mr. Hendrickson. Till we meet again." Derrick bows and kisses the top of my hand and my skin burns where his lips made contact.

I turn towards the door and open it slowly. Inside I see Dr. Lorraine packing her briefcase. "What are you doing?" I ask very cautiously just in case she is in a bad mood.

I must have startled her pretty good because when I spoke she almost jumped out of her own skin. For her to recover she has to sit down with her hand over her heart.

"My good lord Gwen. You almost killed me. I think I just had a mini heart attack!" Her face is deathly pale, "you wasted the rest of the time we had with that boy. So our time is up and you may leave." Her hand is still set upon her chest and her breathing is still ragged. I couldn't have scared her that badly.

"Oh-erm alright. I guess I'll go. Have a good day." I give Dr. Lorraine a small wave and turn the knob of the door.

Before I was out of the room Dr. Lorraine stops me, "Gwen, before I forget, I wanted to tell you that we have another group therapy session today at 3:30. I have already informed your institution."

Well that's just great.

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I show up at the old building where the group therapy is held. It is a rustic looking building. Some bricks were chipping away at the sides and the statues that stand on both sides of the doors where turning the color of diarrhea.

Before opening the doors to hell, I take a deep breath. Here goes nothing.

I sit in the chair I sat in last session and slumped down. I really just want to go home right about now. I miss my old life. It's only been 3 days and I am ready to just give up.

"Welcome everyone. How are you all doing today?" The chirpy session leader said excitedly. Everyone mumbled his or her "goods" and "fines".

"Does everyone know each other?" We all nod. I look at the faces only recognizing Carlene. I could tell that she had dark circles under her eyes. Was she not getting enough sleep? Oh well, that is not my problem. I have enough of those of my own.

"Would anyone like to share their progress throughout the week?" Three hands were raised. All of those I didn't know. Except for Jackson. His hand was straight up. As the leader nodded for him to go he stood up from his chair and cleared his deep voice.

"Hi everyone. I'm Jackson Burden," few mumbled, Hello Jackson, just like they do in the movies, "I have been taking my medication religiously, and haven't experienced any depression for the last week. Thank you." He pushed his glasses up his nose and sat back down.

His eyes focused on me. I tried to look anywhere but his eyes but it was so difficult. His blue eyes weren't anything like I have ever seen before.

"What about you Gwen?" I sat up. "Hmm, what?" The session leader raised his eyebrow and asked, "Would you mind telling us your progress?"

My eyes widened. I bit my tongue and swallowed hard. My progress? It's been 3 days. What kind of progress does he think I will have in 3 lousy days of just tons of therapy and threatens of taking my pills or else I will be taken from the hospital and put into a juvenile intake. Which I think is completely ridiculous and untrue.

"My progress is fine. Thank you." I slumped back down in my chair, straightening out my black skirt and picking fuzzies off my white tights.

The session ended earlier than it had yesterday which gave me the chance to walk up to this Jackson kid.

Before I change my mind or chicken out like I do to often I lift myself from the squeaky metal chair and walk over to Jackson.

I clear my throat, taking him out of his conversation and turn his attention towards myself.

"Oh hi Gwen." He smiles, "How are you doing?

There isn't time for little chitchat I have to get to the point right away before my car shows up and drags me out of here before I even get the chance to say what I need to say.

"Jackson, I want to know what Lele has said about me."

Jackson chuckled. "I knew you were going to ask. I mean, it's a girls instinct to know everything."

My brows furrowed. What is he talking about? Where is he taking this?

"What did she say about me?" I ask once again getting very impatient.

"I left you hanging last session, so I would get a chance to talk to you again."

"You are avoiding the question."

"You really want to know what she was saying about you? I don't know if I should tell you. I mean if I don't, you will just have to talk to me again to get it out of me. " Jackson and I are the only ones left in the room for everyone else had a car to drive or is lounging in the waiting room.

"I-I don't- I mean. -" He interrupts me. "And I am pretty sure you wouldn't mind talking to me again, now would you?" This time Jackson takes a step forward towards me.

I don't say anything to him. If looks could kill, he would be dead right now. But unfortunately that is not what happens, so I just keep silent and let him keep talking.

"I saw you checking me out. I'm flattered really. Such a reward to be admired by such a pretty girl." He places his pointer finger under my chin and lifts my eyes to his. Before he begins again I spit out "You're a little too cocky to have depression." Anger flashed in his eyes for a split second before it turned into amusement, "And I think you just like hearing yourself talk, so if you excuse me, I have a car to catch."

I grab my bag from the chair and storm out of the room, slamming the door behind me realizing he never answered my question.