things change but I love you

chapter one

I never should have let him into my apartment. All we are doing is sitting here awkwardly. I am sitting on my bed and every time I look up he is banging his head to his music. I honestly don’t see what my roommate sees in him. His music is so loud and all he does when he listens is bang his head. I am trying to study for my math test, but he is too distracting. Why did she even give him a key without asking for my permission? I don’t get it, why is he here if she isn’t going to be here for another three hours or so. Doesn’t he have any friends that he can stay with? All he ever does is come here sit and wait for her, and then they leave. Then I don’t see her for like two days, where do they even go. I don’t get why she goes out, she looks so grey and she is always so weak. But I guess she doesn’t talk to me unless it’s like, what do you want for dinner, can I use he bathroom or do you still need it.  As soon as she gets home they leave and I decided that it’s getting late I may as well go to bed. My eyes flutter open as I hear the noise of someone crying, I sit up to find that my roommate is sitting on her bed in her clothes crying, I wonder why her befriends not here with her. I don’t know whether to get up and sit with her, and see what wrong, or pretend that I’m still asleep, but I couldn’t bear to lay here and just listen to her cry. So I get up into the darkness and slowly walk over to her bed. I sit down lightly and put my hand on her back. It surprises her that much that she jumps. She sits up and looks at me “he left me,” she says. Oh my, I am shocked. “Why?” She looks up and she stares straight into my eyes. “I have cancer.” The news shocks me at first. But then I realise, her weakness, her grey skin. I can’t believe that I didn’t notice. Why would he leave her, isn’t he going to realise that it’s hurting her. “How could he do that to you?” Her eyes begin to tear up again. “He said that he can’t stay with me, that I am a ticking time bomb, and that when I go off it is going to hurt him.” I can’t believe I never noticed before. I wondered why her breath always smells like vomit. Her tears run down her face. “Do you want to go out and do something?” She just gets up and hops under her covers. I guess our conversation is over. When I wake up the next day she is gone, her bed is made and her clothes aren’t on the floor. I wonder where she went. I don’t reckon she has gone that far. I walk out into hall to see if she is there and I see her just down the hall, slump against the wall. I run up to her to find she isn’t conscious, but she is breathing, I don’t know what to do. Except call an ambulance. The ambulance arrives minutes later, and sure enough just before the ambulance arrives so does her ex. He rushes up and tries to help, but he has no idea either. The paramedics ask what’s wrong. He tells them of her cancer, she has it in her stomach and lungs. They rush her immediately to hospital. I sit there yet again awkwardly with him. But his time he is crying, he tries to hide the fact that he is crying, but I can hear him.  I don’t know what happened I must have dosed off, because I was awaken by someone shaking me...