Beautiful Feelings

One

Feelings.

What really are feelings?

I don't mean the dictionary definition of feelings you idiots I mean what really truly are feelings.

To me they're something I tend to run away from and to cower from until I was shown how beautiful they really can be, the bad feelings and the good ones and everything in between. But I'm probably boring you and I would rather be telling you how I came to appreciate beautiful feelings.
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The extremely shrill sound of my alarm broke me out of a beautiful sleep and I couldn't be angrier about it.

I threw the covers off my body and felt the cold air run over my body, I hated it and I hated school I mean I thought after highschool I would be happier in college but boy was I wrong.

My name is Lena Jensen people usually call me LJ. i'm a sophomore in college and 20 nyears old almost old enough to drink, I do it anyways but still it's the thought that counts.

I made my way to the bathroom, cringing as i felt the cold wood against my feet. Note to self invest in slippers, I took my hair out of the bun I fell asleep in and watched my hair fall. Looking at myself in the mirror was always a struggle for me.

I had never learned how to love myself during my childhood I spent most of the time trying to survive on my own. I had my mom but after my dad died she went off the rails and I was forced to grow up pretty damn quick.

I have long brown hair that falls into loose curls, my brown eyes complimented it well as well as my pale skin. I had freckles covering my nose to my cheeks. I wasn't ugly but i'm still learning how to really love myself, face included.

"Oh shit" I said as I looked at my phone and realized I was going to be late if i didn't speed this up.

I walked back to my room still reminding myself to invest in slippers, I grabbed a pretty green sundress with white flower detail on it and slipped it on. I put on my white sneakers not being able to handle the cold on my feet anymore.

I looked at myself in my mirror before walking out, I've always loved my body as an adult I keep up with myself at the gym which is easier said than done. 

I didn't have time for breakfast today so i'd probably just have Cameron pick something up for me.

Cameron is my best friend he's the closest thing I have to family and I love him everyday for it. I rushed to the car and dialed cameron's number.

After about 3 rings I heard "Hey beautiful what's rocking with you" I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Cameron babe that makes absolutely no sense please do not come into my speaker with that nonsense." I smiled

"You got it boss, anyways what was the reason I was blessed with your name on my phone today?"

"You know how much you love me right Cameron and would do anything I ask because you love me so much"

"LJ."he says in a singing voice.

"I woke up a little late today please get me a bagel from the cafe by the school please." I said please again for extra good measure.

"You got it gorgeous i'll see you at the first bell" he says and i hear a smile in his voice.

"Thank you sooooo much Cameron you're my hero"

"Mhm remember that when I do something stupid" he says

"You got it! see you there" I said I was feeling really good today for some reason.