Seven.

June 5

Randomly, this idea popped in my head. 

I was just sitting in front of the garden, and then suddenly, I thought of writing down what's going on inside me. 

I'm not usually a fan of just straight up writing about my thoughts and feelings. I usually just kept things in the inside and brushed things off. I don't want my emotions and intrusive thoughts to distract me from achieving my goals. 

I decided to take a shower first before jotting anything. 

I don't know, but there is something about showers that at first, you're hesitant to take one but as the water makes its contact with your skin, it's such a great feeling. It makes me not want to get out of the shower room, actually.

As the hot water cascaded on my skin, I could not help but contemplate about writing this. 

Sometimes, I could be doing something but my mind could wander off to different things. I like to think of my life while I'm in the shower. 

Not to the point of causing tardiness, though -- I do not have the luxury to shower for an hour and think of everything.

Before quarantine, time had always been what I didn't always have. Life was so fast-paced, and so much could happen as I shut my eyes off. 

I used to think that being busy was such a curse, but then during "free time," uninvited thoughts ran in my mind. It's as if the Devil trolled my idle mind. 

I hated it, so I had just always kept myself busy in order to prevent myself from accepting unnecessary thoughts. 

After some soaking, lathering, brushing, and rinsing, I dried myself. 

Sometimes, showering seems so tedious to me. Once I'm done, though -- the comfort was such a different kind. Perhaps that's indeed life -- it's tough but it's always worth it. 

I mean, I hope so -- I hope it's worth every second of resilience and perseverance. 

After getting dressed, I went back to my desk where I originally conceived the idea of this topic. 

I looked at the laptop in front of me and grabbed the mouse to browse artistic creations in the internet. 

My laptop was my father's gift to me back in 2018. He thought it could tremendously help me in my studies. He was right. 

Looking at the art posts, I could see the talent and the effort the creators put. Art is never easy -- be it traditional or digital. 

Not everyone appreciates art. Some even think that it would just be a waste of time and money. 

Funny to think that when they're broken, it's art that they seek. 

Binge-watching series whether animated or not, listening to music, staring at calming pictures, reading a book, playing musical instruments -- they all have art in them, but there are people who totally reject that valuable artistic and creative expression. 

Society likes to point fingers, and it seems that almost everyone is obsessed at trying so hard to be right and to pose themselves as invulnerable. 

We're humans, but we try so hard to detach from our human nature. 
We always want what we cannot have. 

Humans seek to get what they want instead of spending time appreciating what they have, unless time forces them to do so. 

To write this was not what I initially planned to do, but maybe, that was precisely what love would be like -- it is not you who navigate, but your heart. 

Careful with the heart, though. It could deceive you. It could choose "good time" over "good thing." 

Please look wisely at things in order to safeguard your wisdom. It's true that the heart wants what it wants, but not everything that "feels good," is really "something good." 

Often, what is "too good to be true" is simply just false, and is a blatant deception.

With this, I further understand that before you seek something, you have to make a sweet dwelling place in your heart to really understand the value of things, objects, places, people, and decisions.

Sometimes, no matter how much your mind commits to something, if your heart wishes to be elsewhere, then you could be jarred by time, gravity, and frequencies. 

People always talk about following your mind, but I don't really agree with that. 

Well, actually, of course at first I did agree. 
Anyway, let's normalize changing your mind and your beliefs once you have been educated more. 

Let's normalize growth.

The heart, the mind, and the soul-- should all be in tact. No one could focus on something if they are thinking of two entirely different things. With intense focus comes restraint. That is power. That is also the protection to safeguard your wisdom. One of the hardest battles is when your heart wants something your mind knows to not be wise. That is why it is important to be firm with values and principles so the rest shall follow. Once the soul is in a healthy state, it will be easier to regulate emotions and keep a clear head amidst challenging situations. 

Now, I get to sit down and finally write this -- by now I already have such peace for my heart and my mind to work now as one -- and that collaboration is the harmony that would be the peace and bliss of the soul -- the life of the spirit.

Oh, and you know what? 

Sometimes things feel calm, then one moment, things would feel chaotic. 

It's crazy how I constantly would have to juggle from being sad to being happy to being cool, to being mellow-- feelings are indeed normal. I have to acknowledge them, but I do not have to entertain them. 

When there is a negative thought in my head, I don't let it dwell. I answer back at it. 

It goes something like, "Oh, what? I can't do this? Wrong! I am so capable!" and then get back to work. 

It is some kind of manifestation. 

It works.