OUR SHALLOW GRAVES

Hunger

Eren stopped crying a while ago, but his tearstained cheeks and red eyes made it seem as if he'd been crying for hours. He looked at his arms which were wrapped up and he could feel the stitches as he moved. He got up slowly and made his way towards the bathroom. Once he's inside, he realizes why everyone has been so worried about him. The bags under eyes have gotten so dark and his normally tan skin is a ghostly white. He's shivering slightly at the loss of the warm blankets. He's suddenly interrupted by the growling in his stomach. He leaves the bathroom to see what time it is, and sure enough, the evening sun is starting to set. On the assumption that he hasn't eaten all day, or had dinner last night, he makes his way to the dining hall. He looks to see no one there and thanks whatever deity is watching over him. He opens the door quietly and hopes to get into the kitchen for a little bread. He peeks inside and sure enough, it was empty. He internally jumped for joy at his streak. He makes his way to the kitchen assuming that he's alone, but as all good things come, they also have to go.

"What're you doing out of bed, brat?" Levi asks worry but also anger laced his voice. Eren tried not to squeak as he flinched. The Captain's sudden outburst this morning has him on edge. He looks down avoiding his eyes.

"Just came down for some bread, sir. I was gonna get some to bring back to the infirmary to eat there.," he replies. Levi eyes him cautiously before sighing.

"I thought so. Since you're here, you could help me.," Levi said as he beckoned Eren to his side. Eren approached and noticed the two trays full of food. He looked at Levi who filled the bowls with broth along with adding the appropriate necessities to each tray. Once Levi finished he handed one of the trays to Eren. They both made their way back towards the infirmary, making sure to keep pace with each other. When they entered the room, they sat upon Eren's bed to eat. They ate in silence but both were content to be in the other's presence. When they finished, they set the trays aside and Eren knew where this was going to go. He waited for Levi to make the first move but the older man just stared at the far wall, grey eyes stoic but deep in thought. In the little light they had, considering the sun had set while they were eating, Eren was able to finally get a good look at Levi's features. Sure, he had seen Levi but he was never able to really get a closer look. Now that they were nearly touching shoulders, Eren was able to see things he never saw before. The way his jaw was set while he was thinking, his defined cheekbones expressing his sexual appeal, and how his pale complexion was able to complement the design. His expressionless silver eyes were absolutely gorgeous and complimented the way his black ebony hair was so dark but mysterious. His undercut added to his appeal, toward his strong male superiority. Eren was able to see Levi's masculine body underneath his clothes as the fabric hugged each fiber of his being in all the right places. When Eren's eyes finally landed on his lips, he couldn't help but stare. Even with his skin so pale, Levi's lips were a slight pink standing out in the open. His upper lip was thin but his lower lip was practically begging to be bruised in a hungered kiss. Levi must've noticed the younger was looking at him cause when he turned to face him he was met with the beautiful Caribbean eyes he adored just inches away from his own. Levi couldn't look away, eyes darting all over the younger man's face. When their eyes met again, Levi noticed the slight pink rising in Eren's cheeks as his lips were parted as he was nearly panting. He felt his own breathing getting staggered staring at him but his eyes never wavered. He brought his hand up to Eren's cheek. Once contact was made Eren melted into the touch. He closed his eyes and hummed as Levi's cold fingers brushed his cheek. His fingers found his way into Eren's chocolate brown hair and teased the strands, pulling and tugging lightly. Eren's tanned complexion radiated off of him like the sun. His skin was warm and heating up by the second. Levi looked at his slightly plump lips, the way they were parted slightly and air entered and escaped. Levi clenched his teeth when he realized how much he actually wanted to kiss Eren senseless and ravage him that night. Eren soon grasped Levi's wrist in his own hand. As Eren opened his eyes again, he saw as Levi's grey eyes filled with sadness as they stared at the bandages on his arm. Eren licked his lips as he tightened his grasp on Levi's wrist, causing the other to look at him. Once turquoise met grey, he turned his head ever so slightly to plant a light chaste kiss to Levi's palm. He let his lips linger on his palm, not wanting to face him right now. He felt Levi's eyes searching him for answers but when he didn't have any, he felt himself choke. His eyes filled as tears ran down his cheeks. Levi had no clue what to do. He looked at Eren intently as tears streamed down his cheeks, the only sound to be heard was the flicker of fire as the candles danced in the dark. Levi used his thumb to brush away the wayward tears also causing Eren to look right at him.

"Why?" Levi asked. His voice was quiet but the emotion conveyed only caused Eren's breathing to quicken. Levi pulled Eren into a tight embrace, rocking slightly as he felt the water seep through his clothes. Eren's sobs barely registered Levi's mind before he started whispering sweet nothings into Eren's ear.

"Shh, it's ok. It's all going to be ok.," he whispered. Once Eren's breathing started evening out, he asked again.

"Why would you do this? Why would you torment yourself?" He asked. Eren lifted his head, Levi missing the warmth he brought. Eren searched Levi's eyes for a moment before speaking.

"I'm scared.," he said. Eren's answer surprised Levi.

"What're you scared of?" He asked. Eren looked down, biting his lip.

"That you'll look at me differently if I tell you.," the sentence was spoken so softly, Levi almost missed it. He grasped Eren's face in both his hands, staring directly at him.

"I trust you, Eren. If you want, you'll only have to answer to me. No one else has to know, but I do. I need to know why because I care. I'd never leave you behind, understand that.," he replies. Eren nods and takes Levi's hands in his own.

"I heard you talking with the rest of the squad that night.," Eren said. It took a moment to realize which night Eren was referring too.

"Oh.," was all Levi was able to say.

"I heard everything. How I was a liability, a burden, a monster.," he said. Levi could only stare at him.

"I-I felt that if I could change one of those things, they'd accept me. The one that stuck with me the most was the disgust in Auruo's voice when he called me a monster.," Eren sniffled. Levi's blood started to boil hearing how Eren described Auruo's voice. He wanted to strangle Auruo at that moment when he realized Eren was right. The way Aurou's attitude changed when it came to the boy and how he was ready to let Eren drop dead.

"In cutting, I hoped to be able to control my abilities, to show I wasn't a monster. How I wasn't going to slow you down and cause issues for you. It sounds selfish now out loud, but I...," Eren paused, pondering over his next words. Levi gently squeezed Eren's hands, signalling for him to continue.

"I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if you ever thought that about me. If you ever thought that I was a monster.," he whispered.  Levi felt his heart ache for the boy. He never would've thought that all this, started just by one conversation from months ago.

"I'm sorry.,"