In-between

Chapter 4

After the endless banter between Dylan and Emma they finally left their room and went down stairs. I’m guessing Emma is still mad about the whole thing that happened last night. She was so surprised she didn’t know what to say and that alone is saying a lot.
I walk into the kitchen and I see Harry crouched over picking the shards of glass Dylan broke last night.
“Where is the broom?” I ask and Harry looks up at me with a smile.
“Right over there.” he motions and I go to grab it.
I began sweeping up the glass from last night. There were plenty of small little shards that kept sticking to the carpet and it could hurt anyone who would walk barefoot so I knelt down and started collecting those with my hand.
“Careful those are sharp.” Harry warns me as his gaze followed my every movement. I nodded at him but kept picking the small fractions of glass.
When I heard footsteps, I looked up to see both Emma and Dylan fresh out of the shower standing at the door way.
“Amber, can I talk to you please?” he asks, I know I should say no but something about the bag under his eyes and how they were rimmed with red circles makes me nod.
He wraps his hand around my wrist but quickly let’s go before glancing at Emma but leads me outside nonetheless.
As we reach the tables he pulls out the chair for me and I sit down and he grabs the chair next to me.
“What?” I ask him in the harshest tone I can muster. He takes a breath and takes his beanie off and sits them on the table. My eyes stare as his long fingers run through his hair and he looks into my eyes.
“I am sorry.” he says and I look away and focus on the large tree that covers almost 3/4th of the cabin’s circumference.
“I’m sorry.” he says and I lean back.
“I heard you.” I snap. He’s crazier than I thought if he thinks I would just forgive him just because he blurted out 3 meaningless words to me.
“I don’t know how to act anymore.” he says and sits back on his chair.
“Any more? You have to be kidding me! How do you think this is working out for me Dylan? You are cruel to me, you constantly insult me and then you act like all this is my fault. Everything is happening so fast I don’t know what happened to make you act the way you do but I’m confused and it hurts to know that someone you consider more than a friend hates you more than you could ever imagine.” I say and pull my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I don’t mean to be. I don’t know how we got here.” his voice was quiet.
“Yes you do, whatever it is that made you become this way, it is not my fault” I bite my lip harder; I can feel the knot in my throat getting tighter every time he speaks.
“Emma didn’t like you the first time she saw you; she thought you were extremely hot and she thought you would steal me from her, it was just easier to hate you than fall for you but hating you is hard too, I’m not trying to make excuses but it’s not easy for me too, I walk in to tell you how I feel and there you are making out with Chris.” he says.
“That’s not true,. You just happened to walk in when he started kissing me I haven’t even-“
“You haven’t even what?”His eyes were wide as if knowing the sentence that was going to follow my hesitation.
“I haven’t even kissed anyone before.” I say and he takes his beanie from the table and puts it back on.
“I thought you were going to say something.” he says and I close my eyes my throat burning from the knot.
“What did you think I was going to say?” I ask him. I need to get back to being angry with him after he answers.
“I don’t know; but not that. Something between I’ve never slept with Chris before.” his eyes fall to the floor.
“You insulted me because you’re girlfriend was worried I was going to steal you from her?”
“Not exactly. I had felt something for you; I’m just not sure what. I came up to tell you at the party… It sounds fucking stupid when I say it out loud.” his tone is serious.
“What exactly do you feel?” I breathe.
“I’m not feeling anything now, well maybe I am, I want you to...” he stops.
“You want me to what?” I have to know what he was going to say.
“nothing.” he tells me and I know he’s lying.

Why am I even here? Harry is back in the kitchen cleaning Dylan’s mess alone and his girlfriend is walking around like all of this doesn’t concern her and I realized I don’t even fit here anymore. I don’t know if I ever even have.
“I should go.” I say and stand up.
“Don’t go.” my feet stop at their tracks at the pleading tone in his voice. I turn around and he’s less than a foot from me.
“Why? so you could confuse even more?” I shout and turn away from him. I feel his hand wrap around my arm and he jerks me back.
“Stop doing that. I’m not some doll you picked up from a store.” I shout even louder than before.
“I don’t know why I’m even here. I left my friends back home when Harry called me because I wanted to spend some time with you. I am pathetic for coming here, I’m pathetic for even trying to have some quality time with you and I’m pathetic...” I’m cut off by his fingers against my lips.
I push at his chest to stop him but he doesn’t budge. His eyes pour into mine telling me stuff he doesn’t dare to use his words. His finger slides upwards snaking into my hair and tugging at the ends to make me look up at him.
“Stop, don’t ever regret coming here, I wanted you here. And deep down I know there is some feeling for you. I’m truly sorry for insulting you; I guess I didn’t like the idea of falling for you.”
I shake my head and tears well up in my eyes just thinking about the things he spat at me just because of an assumption; and he thought he was doing it to protect himself.
“Forgive me?” he begs his eyes searching mine for any clue.
I nodded and his face split into a huge grin his face brightening. His hand on my hair tugged at the end even more making my head bob backwards.
Every part of me wants to kiss him but I stop myself. He leans in and I feel his lips press a kiss to my forehead before letting go.
“I need to do something about these hidden feelings, any ideas?” he smiles down at me as my eyes follow the trail of bruises coloring his face. I don’t know why he got into a fight but his face looks pretty bad. He caught me staring at his bruises and his face falls.
“It doesn’t hurt.” he tells me but I saw him flinch whenever he makes a facial expression.
“You don’t have to act so brave.” I giggle and he laughs at the sound. “I’m sorry I don’t know why I assumed you would do that.” he backtracks and the Dylan I fell for shines through. He still fills guilty about the things he said about me and I know I have to reassure him a hundred times before he lets it go.
“Who did you fight?” I ask him and look down.
“Some idiots at the bar. They were too many but they didn’t hurt Me.” he says and lifts my chin up forcing me to look into his blue eyes.
“It looks pretty bad. I thought you were hurt because of me and I felt really guilty.”
“I was mad at you but the alcohol made me realize how stupid I sound when I told this girl at the bar…” he stops and looks at me his eyes widening.
“I’m not Emma but you might want to talk to her.”
“We already argued this morning I can’t deal with her anymore. We have been out here for so long we should go in.” he informs me and I nod.
After our conversation this morning, me and Dylan both agreed to spend some quality time together as friends because we hadn’t done that in a while so he suggested we go out today just me and him and after a long time of reassurance he finally got Emma to say yes to our “date”.
I’m pretty excited if you ask me because this could finally be my chance to show Dylan the real me; not “I’m okay with you sticking your tongue down her throat” me or “I’m a whore I sleep with anyone with a stick between their thighs.” me. And once he sees the real me it’s going to be so hard staying away.
“Ready?” he asks as he grabs his jacket and keys from the table close to the door.
“Almost;” I yell from the kitchen and I turn around to see Harry smiling at me. He hugs me one last time “Be careful, Dylan can be a reckless driver sometimes.”
“I heard that. But could you hurry up? We might miss it if you’re planning on staying any longer.” he warns and I roll my eyes making my way to the front door where he was standing waiting for me holding a bag full of God knows what and I don’t bother asking.