True or false

A terrifying place

High school. What does this dreadful place make you think of? Work, work, more work?Obviously but, what about things that some people don't think about as much as others? Like the anxiety some of the 'quiet kids' experience just from waking up and knowing they have a full day of dealing with things that make them want the earth to swallow them up, people who don't realise that they are hurting these people (and those who do of course). But this is an example of how a girl felt about high school. One out of a group of 'quiet kids'.

She wasn't quiet in primary school, at least she didn't think she was, but almost as soon as high school came she closed off from people. It was probably better this way anyway she had decided. She though back often on the times in primary school when people hadn't wanted to play with her, she always wondered why, she had never done anything wrong, they had often called her annoying and walked away. It never bothered her then but when she had grown up and realised how that effected her, she closed off and limited herself to a few people.

Anyway there was a day, when she was new to the secondary school, when she was hanging around with a few people from primary school. Of course they didn't pay attention to her and days went by and they still mentioned how annoying she was. So she stopped listening and decided that this new place was a great opportunity to make new friends. But first she had to close off a bit. Maybe she thought she was too overbearing, but she definitely didn't realise when she became so quiet and strange, she still doesn't today, but she does know that she bagged herself a great friend from it.

She met this new friend after an English lesson when they were heading out for a break. They had walked silently together for a bit, in the corridor, before stopping and actually talking to each other 'hey wanna be friends?' and 'sure' were the exchanged words. They spent the whole break chatting and soon realised that they had a lot in common. Even though they were both awkward girls, they had decided that because they both wanted to get away from 'primary school people' that they would make great friends.

Year seven was the first year of school, so the first glance she took of something to get her socialising, she took. So she signed up for the skiing trip in Austria, only three other people from her year went. The school did this yearly for nothing but the thrill of it. Though expensive she managed to get herself on a coach, a boat and the Eurostar (not in that order) all the way to Australia. This was when she had experienced travel sickness which she was shocked at as she had never had it before and was unprepared for. But luckily when they had arrived at Austria, not long after, and at their hotel, the owners had a pet dog who was willing to cuddle with her and since she's a super dog person she felt a lot happier. The moments she experienced in Austria with the views, the experience, the excitement and the fun were (what she hadn't thought at the time) the most beautiful moments of her life and ones that she will never experience again.

Another trip she had gone on (not planned by school) was with her newest and best friend. They went to, Flamingo land. She had been to amusement parks before but she was always to young to do anything. She was so excited. The two girls were squealing the whole way there, sharing music, what they would do first, looking up the exciting rides they would experience and other stupid things that twelve and thirteen year olds do.

And so the years, the many fandoms, sleepovers and friends went by, but the two girls stayed together through thick and thin, including suicidal thoughts, fights, and people who hated their guts for no reason.

The beginning of year eight was when that dreaded thing happened. You know the monthly visitor. She was terrified although prepared beforehand from quiet the educational lesson or two. She had no idea what she was in for. But there was something wrong. She was becoming fatigued easily and would walk in from school exhausted and head straight to sleep. She soon realised that this was maybe because there was no monthly brake between her visits and it really started wearing her down. A few school days were missed. One evening when her auntie had visited and saw her passed out on the living room sofa she spoke up to her mother and voiced her concern. Which then led to doctors appointments, blood tests and being taken out of school a couple times for weeks until they decided the pill was the best option. It took a while but they soon took effect. This did effect her friendship events though, like that one time when she had gone to her friends house for her birthday party for only half an hour, then to the toilet for another half an hour, to calling her mum, to telling her friends the issue, to then crying in agony until her mum came. She did come and those agonising minutes felt like hours of someone stuffing her belly full of knives. When she had gone home she had thrown up but when her mum took her to the doctors they told her that it was the amount of pain that had made her sick. She took the week of school, much to her relief. She had never been so embarrassed to see her friends again after that.

The beginning of year nine was when she had to get the public bus to school for the first time (the schools bus company had shut down). She had never had to do this before and didn't realise how terrified she was until she was on the bus and staring the bus driver in the face. She stood there silently, money in hand, wondering what to do, she doesn't know how long she stood there but one moment she was fine and the next she was full blown panicking, crying her eyes out, her heart pounding in her chest like a heart attack, before thrusting the money at the bus driver and hastily taking a seat. This was the day she had thought maybe there was something wrong with her. She'd heard about anxiety before, her friend had mentioned she was diagnosed with it and explained how it felt. After what had happened that day, when she got home from school, she researched how anxiety felt and although she wasn't properly diagnosed she knew she had it. She was always panicky in social situations, she was afraid of people, of talking, like if she did, something horrible would happen. Her mother never listened to her when she tried to explain how she felt and would say things like 'that's silly' or 'why are you acting like this? your not shy' and she was right she wasn't shy she was afraid, of what? She didn't know but it made her scared.

It was sometime around the beginning of year ten when the girl (the main character) had developed a (somewhat) secure group of friends including her first one. She realised that they were the first real friends who cared about her as much as she cared about them. There were around seven girls in total in this group and things were secure but soon one thing led to another, people got tired of one another, one friendly day out to the ice rink and a deep chat led to the group braking apart. Never the less she (the main character) was still equally friends with everyone as she was before but stayed with the friend who people were getting tired of, not because she felt sorry for her but because she cared and saw herself in her. She was reminded of primary school and how being ignored and rejected felt and didn't want that for this friend, so along with her best friend she took off to sit at another small table (in year ten they had a special place apart from the rest of the school to eat their lunch and stuff so it was just a chill out room full of year tens and elevens in our main character's case).