Wolfstar Oneshots For The Soul

Toujours Pur

Summary: Slytherin Sirius Au. 'Sirius Black was Remus' Slytherin rival, but what happens on a really hot day after summer when neither boy 'can' go swimming. idk i'm shit at summaries. I'm sorry.'

Trigger warnings: referenced past child abuse

It was a particularly warm day, just after school started, and everybody was down at the black lake. James had stopped pestering Lily, and they were becoming friends. The girls and the boys in Gryffindor were spending a lot more time together. Remus wasn't going to swim. The scar's on his face were enough to gawk at, he didn't need people looking at his covered chest and stomach as well. He was sitting under a tree and he groaned slightly noticing a little herd of slytherins coming down to the beachy area.

Near the side of the pack was Sirius Black, sauntering in his Slytherin uniform. Most of the others were in swimsuits. Including Sirius' younger brother Regulus, who apparently wanted nothing to do with his sibling and was as far away from him as possible. Remus didn't blame him. If he had to be related to someone like that he'd probably stay as far away as possible as well.

"C'mon" He heard Adalina Burke whine grabbing Sirius' hand. Remus scoffed rolling his eyes slightly, it was so clear he didn't actually like her, he was only dating that poor girl because she was popular and drop dead gorgeous. "Please Sirius, just a quick dip" She begged loudly.
Sirius laughed slightly "I don't like swimming" He shrugged.
"More like he doesn't know how" Mullciber teased wacking the smaller boy with his oversized hand.
Remus noticed Sirius flinch at the contact, didn't really think much of it though, Axel was huge.
"I do know how to swim, I just have better things to do" He shrugged running a hand through his hair dramatically.
"Like what? Watching us swim?" Narcissa rolled her eyes slightly. "You haven't swam all summer actually, what's wrong with you, are you scared the grindlelowes are going to get you?" She laughed playfully pinching at his shoulder.
"Guys just fucking stop, I don't want to swim" He snapped after the little malicious pack started snickering at the way he dodged his older cousins hand.
The Slytherins parked obnoxiously in the middle of the beach before sprinting into the water.
"If you're actually not going to fucking swim with us how about you go hang with the Mangled Mudblood over there" Lucius hissed cocking his head at Remus who when Sirius looked over briefly met his eyes.
"he's watching us, this is fucking weird" Lucius mumbled walking away.

And, to Remus' horror, Sirius was making his way towards Remus in his stupid crown of entitlement.

"What are you looking at freak?" He spat with a small glare.
"You were kind of making a scene" Remus replied staring at Dorcas, Marlene, Lily, and Mary competing in a chicken fight as Peter and James lay in the shallow end watching.
"Wish you could join them?" Sirius whispered almost wistfully.
"I don't see why you can't" Remus replied with a glare "maybe that would get you out of my hair"
"Friends are already gone" He answered, Remus glanced over and noticed a group of people swimming around the corner.
"Where are they going?"
"Theres a cave, and in the cave is a stash of firewhisky" He laughed, he was talking in a patronizing tone though. He was one of those people where you couldn't imagine him as a kid. Back in third year when the Gryffindors and Slytherins had defence against the dark arts together there was a bet on what his boggart would be. He deliberately was at the back of the line which apparently was just out of spite to the bet. Remus was near the back too, his boggart would most definitely expose his secret. Remus remembered when the at-the-time taller boy leaned really close and whispered 'for the record it's a werewolf' in the most malicious drawling whisper he'd ever heard. Remus had no idea how Sirius knew what he was, but it had been the source of anxiety for the rest of the year.
Sirius sat down, he wasn't invited too, but Remus supposed it was the only shady patch around. The black haired boy looked very warm, he first loosened his tie, and then started unbuttoning shirt buttons. Remus mentally wondered why he wouldn't just take his sweater off. And as if Sirius could hear, he did. That when Remus caught a glimpse of his shoulder. Perfect little lines of fresh scars so bright they could be seen through his thin white shirt.
"How did that happen-" Remus mumbled reaching out on instinct. This received a curt smack.
"Don't touch me Lupin" Sirius snapped.
"Same way you got those burns?" Remus always did this thing where he'd say something really important and not even look at the person it was affecting.
"What burns?" Sirius asked quickly. Oh god this was enjoyable, Remus had at least panicked the untouchable Mr. Sirius my-hairs-better-than-yours Black.
"The circles, perfectly spaced out on your left arm right?" Remus was enjoying this a little too much, it was kind of scary. It felt justified by the years of tormenting Remus had endured. "Maybe you should be less obsessed with me, and worry about your own, little problem" Sirius hissed.
"I would be worried about you exposing that, but you haven't, and it's been two years, so why now?" Remus shrugged.
Sirius bit his lip and sat silently for a couple of seconds before turning around and grabbing the taller boys collar. "If you say anything to anybody. I will not fucking hesitate"
Remus pushed him off, it didn't take much force, Sirius was strong, but Remus was a fucking werewolf.
Sirius' back hit the rough bark of the tree. He winced slightly. "What did I say about touching me" He snarled.
"I don't have time for your whining, how about you go cry to your mummy" Remus replied patronizingly.
Sirius winced slightly hitting the tree again. It had only been two days sense he left, and everything was still too fresh. Including the scars on his back which had re-opened thanks to hitting them against a rough object twice in a row.
Remus noticed his lip trembled. He looked angry, and scared, confused maybe, for the first time ever, Remus saw Sirius at a loss for words, no snarky come back, no little jabs. Absolutely nothing.

"and I don't have time for your mind games, I don't know what you know, or how you know it, but keep it the fuck to yourself" Sirius spoke quickly and pulled his sweater back on.
"sounds familiar" Remus mumbled but Sirius was already leaving. James and Peter who were moving the Slytherins clothes at the moment froze as Sirius walked by. James and him had a competitive banter like relationship, because, quidditch, but he'd tormented Peter for years. In his defence it went both ways.

Remus stood up and followed the Black haired boy, jogging slightly to catch up, which he didn't manage to do, until Sirius had his back pressed against a wall. The boy was taking shaky breaths and his eyes were closed. His jaw was clenched, head tilted back, he looked full of emotion, Remus couldn't tell which emotion. He'd never see Sirius Black display anything but sarcasm and arrogance.

"Look, I have no idea what-"
"yeah, sure, just fuck off" Sirius sighed wrapping his arms around his torso.
"I don't know what happened to your mum"
Sirius tilted his head upwards slightly.
"If she died or something-"
"Oh god I wish" Sirius muttered. "Can you just fucking drop it?"
"no" Remus replied. "I'm trying to apologize"
Sirius scoffed. "Yeah well, wait what"
"Just, look, I'm sorry-" Remus sighed awkwardly.
"Why are you apologizing, what the fuck Lupin, I thought you had the balls for revenge for a while there" Sirius scoffed sardonically.
"Revenge is satisfying unless you have a moral compass Black"
There it was again, the little flinch, the head tilt, it didn't quite have a word. It was like any time he heard the word werewolf, or monster. Oh, that was it.
"If you're not going to leave me alone I'm going to leave" Sirius said with a fake smile. He turned and started walking down one of the long dark corridors, torches lighting up as he past them. The light hit his back and Remus noticed blood leeching into his school sweater, spreading like ink.
"Sirius" he called.
To his surprise Sirius turned around. "What?" He sounded fed up.
"Your, um, your bleeding through your sweater" He said awkwardly.
Sirius inhaled through his nose sharply and exhaled with a soft little "fuck"
It was actually adorable.
He seemed a lot less terrifying when he was alone, and well, when he was hurting. Remus never realized it could be so easy to hurt him. All he had to say was one word and he could get a reaction. He knew quite a few people who would do a lot of things with that knowledge.
"I cant fucking reach the cut" He mumbled bringing his hands to his temple.
"Go to the hospital wing" Remus said as if it were obvious. It was obvious.
"I can't" The boy hissed. "I can't" he said again, but this time it was a whisper. His lip started trembling. "Fuck" He said exhaling and then taking a shaky breath. He swore a lot.
"Why not?" Remus asked softly as Sirius took his sweater off.
"Because" He said shakily he started unbuttoning his shirt, and Remus felt his heart beat coming up his throat. His white shirt dropped over his shoulder revealing the words 'Toujours Pur' carved deeply right above his angel bone. Blood was dripping as if each individual letter was crying.
"They're magical, they can't go away anyways" He mumbled "and there'd be a lot of questions." He added.
"...Who?"
Sirius shrugged "honestly can't remember" He mumbled awkwardly staring at his shoes. The boy was strange, he was awkward about everything but the fact that his shirt was off in the middle of a hallway. "It's hard to remember who did what" He added.
"but why?"
"I don't know if you're that observant, but I kind of fucking hate the whole blood supremacy thing, I haven't met someone I haven't disappointed, and my family hates my guts" He shrugged. "Reminder that no matter what I do my veins are full of clean blood or something" He added nonchalantly. "I can't believe I'm telling you this" he mumbled.
"I'm kind of experienced with cut's if-"
Sirius nodded quietly. "Can we go somewhere else, anyone could turn the corner at any moment" He whispered.
Remus nodded pulling him into a broom closet and grabbing a small vile of essence of dittany from his bag. "If it hurts let me know"
"It hurts" He snickered.
"Oh for fuck sake you knew what I meant"
"Did I?" Sirius smirked.
Remus lightly dabbed the ointment on the cuts. It was really awkward, they could hear each others breathing, and heartbeats, and that was about it.
"Um, for the record, you haven't disappointed me yet so-"
"I think you need to have hope or a sense of liking for the person before they can disappoint you"
"Maybe I do like you" Remus whispered.
Sirius turned around his eyes were sparkling and he lifted his head up to look at Remus. "How" he muttered.
"What-" Remus didn't know if he meant in what way and he most certainly wasn't going to say what he was thinking.
"I can't do anything right for fuck sake" he mumbled "I don't want pity comfort Lupin" he added "Why did I open my fucking mouth-" He added trying to pace around, which was hard in a broom closet.
"Hey"
"What"
"I don't know"
"I think I really like you" Sirius whispered. He thought about all his failed flirting attempts. You know he'd repeat, go compliment him, go compliment him, go compliment him, and he'd walk over and say something like 'It's cool you have the confidence to wear a sweater like that' which apparently doesn't go over well. And he'd attempted to show some sort of feeling when he told Remus he knew he was a werewolf. Unfortunately he did that wrong as well. Instead of pulling him aside after class and saying something like 'it's okay i'm not going to tell anyone' he taunted him with it. And it all started because in first year during potions Remus had come up to him and said 'Hi my names Remus' and Sirius was at a loss for words. It was embarrassing to not be able to talk back, and the caused him to make irrational decisions to 'gain his status' back or some shit. And right then and there, Remus made an irrational decision, and it was to grab his waist, push him against a wall and kiss him, to his surprise Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' neck and kissed back.

Fifteen minutes later when they emerged from the closet Sirius mumbled something awkward like "I should go break up with Adelina-" before practically running in the other direction. Remus just watched him. Maybe we all have scars, but not all of them are always visible, or at least not out in the open.