Zara || A Nigerian Lesbian

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚎

𝚉𝙰𝚁𝙰
━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Weeks had gone by, and I was grateful to be alive. Nothing had prepared me for death, even though I went halfway. The doctors said I was lucky because the bullet wound was dead center to my neck, perfection if you considered that sort of thing - like a professional hit, no doubt.

When I recovered, everyone kept saying I had to report to the police. No, I had to send Bella her money and erase her from my life. And that's what I did.

"What are you thinking of, Zara?" My dad asked as he walked into my room.

I shook my head, shaking away all the sadness - but it was still there. I felt the pain in my heart. "Daddy, nothing. I'm worried about my company."

He sat down on the armchair across from the bed. "For someone who came so close to dying, I would think you would be thinking of your decisions."

I looked at him in amazement, couldn't believe he was back to this. And to think that he was caring because he had come to accept me the way I was. I thought wrong.

A smile crept on his face. "It's not what you think. This whole thing is hard for me, you know? But all I am saying is, think about decisions like - who you are in a relationship with next time. Don't follow every Dick, Tom, and Harry."

"Daddy!" Again, this was a conversation I thought my mum would be having with me.

"I am honest with you. If it's a girl that suits your fancy, go for it. But be wise about it."

Taking in a deep breath, I had to ask the question that had been lingering in my mind. "What about Mummy?"

"What about her?" He questioned me back, playing with the family framed picture on my dresser.

"Daddy, isn't she going to come and check on her daughter, who almost lost her life?"

It was his turn to take a deep breath, but this one was like a breath of disappointment. The smile and cheerfulness faded from his face. "Zara, you need to give your mother more time. She's taking this whole situation very hard."

"Even at the expense of my life?" I sat up on the bed.

"Even if it's my bisexuality that put me in this predicament, is it not right for my own mother to at least check on me? A text or phone call could suffice!"

"Zara.."

"Let me..." A pain seared through my abdomen better than a branding iron, my mind conceding to the torment, unable to bring a thought or speech to completion.

My dad walked towards me and helped me lay back down in bed. "I told you to give her time, and give yourself time too. Right now, you are in no condition to argue or fight. Heal first."

The pain had an unpleasant warmth to it, eating at my stomach. There was nausea too, just enough to make me hold onto him for support, breathing slowly. God damn you, Bella!

A knock on the bedroom door got our attention.

"Expecting anyone? Dad asked.

"No one that I know of." I let go of his hand and responded to the knock on the door. "Who is it?"

"Lolia," a soft voice replied.

Dad and I both looked at each other. Deep down, I wanted to listen to her and hear the silly excuse she was going to give, but common sense told me this wasn't going to go well. "Dad, don't worry, I will be fine."

He didn't say a word. He opened the door and allowed Lolia to come in. Not paying any attention to her, he walked out of the bedroom, leaving her guilty soul with me.

"Lolia, what are you doing here? Do you want to finish what you started? Kill me?"

The sullen look on her face made me realize that maybe she knew she had done something pretty awful and had to do a whole lot to earn my trust, once again. Lolia was my friend, the one whom I trusted with my life and secrets. To think she would go to this length - was unspeakable.

"You have to talk or leave. I have to rest, considering you are the one who put me in this predicament."

"I love you, Zara," she muttered softly.

That statement felt like a knife to my heart. "You love me, and you couldn't say a word? You had to go hire a thug, for your selfish reasons - which I am tired of hearing."

"I know, I was selfish. I did not want to accept the fact that I loved a woman, but I thought if I found out you were really into women, then I could accept it."

"Can you listen to yourself?" A wave of nausea hit me out of disgust. I didn't know what to feel, and I didn't know what to say. My feelings were all over the place.

A lone tear traced down her cheek, and just like that, the floodgates opened. She wept, tears streaming from her mink brown eyes. Loud, heaving sobs tearing from her throat, and still, she did not look away from me. Not until the sobbing drove her to her knees did her determined gaze fall.

Oh, shoot! I wasn't ready for all these mushy feelings, and who knows, this could be another trick of hers to persuade me towards forgiving her. "Lolia, you know I can't console you from here, right?" My insensitivity emerged.

She stood up and sat beside me on the bed, still sniffing, wiping her face clean of those tears. "I am sorry, Zara. I didn't mean to hurt or even kill you."

She sure looked sorry. "Lolia, I am sure you are sorry, but this whole thing is going to take time. I need to be able to wrap my head around everything that has happened and then go from there."

"Can you at least forgive me?" She asked quietly.

"Time," I told her, my hand reaching for hers.

I wasn't sure where this was going to lead us, but I knew I had to be wise about the decisions I make. Most of all, trusting anyone wasn't going to be an easy thing to do.