𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐞 ; 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞! ⇄ | z.herron |

𝐱𝐯𝐢.

ZOEY

after the not so light meeting with pollen's parents ive been quite on ease lately.
"Hey babe." pollen was topless, with a pair of navy blue hiker shorts. i kept my head slightly down careful not to stare at his bare chest.

"Hey," i mumbled quick enough before i took a big unpleasant gulp of black coffee. pollen was on a diet or whatever, so half the things in the house contained only a few calories and carbs, and it didn't really fulfill you. "so uhm— do you have anything other then hard boiled eggs for breakfast?" i asked leaning on the counter, my nails tapping the mug to suppress my awkwardness.

he sucks his teeth. "sorry, it's apart of the weeks diet plan, cant mess it up." he replied lazily walking over to the boiling eggs. "you could have some porridge though. berries are in the top shelf in the fridge."

porridge was even worse it was always mushy from the water, and it had no flavor; what so ever. it tastes like cardboard- wet cardboard. "it's fine." i smile lightly. "i'll just have some fruit."

"cool, cool." he tosses me a apple.

i start silently cutting the apple.
i could feel pollen hovering over me to the top shelves. he grabs what he's looking for retrieving back to his original spot. i couldnt help but to bit my lip out of uncomfortableness. pollen's small gestures were weird- i mean dating before felt weird. but it didn't feel like i wanted to leave ..like i felt unsafe.

was i unsafe?

in my thoughts i proceed to cut my finger. "shit- shit— fuck." i hold my bleeding thumb, the knife dropping close enough to my foot to make me panic.

"careful. zoey- careful." pollen drops what he's doing and picks up the knife so it's unable to do any more damage. the apples i was cutting were absorbing the drops of blood i left on the chopping board. "s-sit on the counter." i knew  pollen was nauseous just by looking at the little trickles of blood.

i look at the cut. it's deep— and red. but not enough for me to think im dying.
      but pollen rushes to grab a bandaid, and once he's back he's quick to stop the bleeding by closing it off. "j-just let it sit like that. if it doesn't heal i'll take you to the E.R." i nod, thanking him quietly.

it takes a few moments for the panic to be over. then we're both just sitting in silence- until pollen regains his ability to not stutter.
"i think my super hero mode deserves a kiss."

i could feel myself swallowing hard. my eyes scan his in desperation to not be serious.
"m-maybe we should take things a bit slowe—"

"c'mon, zoey." pollen mumbles and exclaim. "we've been taking things slow since the argument. im done taking things slow." he says softly.

"i know." i whisper so he couldn't hear the cracks. i knew kissing pollen would be a big step, because i didn't recognize his actions or what'd he'd do next.

he places a hand on my thigh, and this time i cuff my hoodie's sleeves tightly. "it's just a simply kiss." he assures.

"yeah," i nod quickly, "yeah of course. i know." i didn't sound as casual as i attempted.

"don't worry." he grins. "i'll be gentle." a voice in my brain ticked and i hopped off the counter, stumbling on my landing, and pushing myself away from pollen.
i could hear pollen following as i beat him to the bathroom to lock the door(s).

         okay, maybe i thought some things weren't worth telling. this wasn't worth telling.

i slid down the door, hugging my knees as i block out the noise of the door knob rattling, and the drowning sound of pollen begging me to unlock the door.
i don't know what that was back there, or what took over me. or maybe i did  know, but i found it hard to admit to that. because maybe i thought some things weren't worth telling.

because in reality, im stuck in his ways- sinking into his sands.

N O T E ;
I want to publicly start this off by saying if you've been in a situation where you feel like you can't tell anyone please, reach out to someone! I swear once the right person comes around you'll feel grateful to talk to them.
My dm's are always open, im not active all the time and im completely honest about it, but i can promise you I get to them, and I hear you, and I'm listening when no one else can.
I love you all!

HELLOOOOO
Welcome back my beautiful human beings! I hope this chapter fulfilled you. I can confirm I'm on a worsting rampage so next chapters might be up sooner. Maybe next week 🤭.

Anyways! How are you all?!

I'm a bit tried. Currently it's 3:40 AM here PST time and I still need to shower and work out. So- fml:)

Anyways I have to go! No further updates but I'll be back and publishing with more hype later😂.

Love youz babes🧚‍♂️✨.