𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐞 ; 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞! ⇄ | z.herron |

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐬; 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬.

ZOEY
( DISCLAIMER : this chapter contains a series of sexual assault it's not mild mild but i want to make sure you all feel safe. if this makes you uneasy, or slightly uncomfortable please skip Viewer discretion advised. )

my palms are sweaty- smothered in his drips of sweat from his chest where i continued to rapidly push away from.
"g-go a bit softer." i still managed to stammer out a couple of weak words. i was only adjusting. people say sex gets better once you're adjusted— then you can't get enough, right?

"yeah- sorry." he stifles a groan of pleasure. he was obviously enjoying his desires, so maybe so should i.
his body was hovering over me, crushing my ribs, and body. the perspiration from the tips of his locks dripped and splashed down his own face and mine as his breathing pacing at a higher rate than mine. but my heart raced faster than his did. his breath was a warm nude aroma of whiskey with a hint of lemon or vodka- or whatever he mixed it with.

i turn to look away from his sights and find myself roaming the room with my eyes. the bedside table with the empty plus one full cup sitting at the edges, the radio staticky in the background, the wooden door locked for some privacy, and the background noise suffocating me whole. 

i hear his moans, and a sigh of pleasure escaping his pale lips. his mouth wide open and his eyes closing. though his condom was tightly secured i could still feel the warmth of his fluids.
     "you haven't finished?" he asked shakily from his orgasm. i quietly shake my head.

"im okay." i mumbled, though he didn't ask.

"right." he wipes his forehead with his shirt beside us. "wanna go for round two?"

"i- i think im a bit sleepy." i start scooting backwards till i hit the bed board.

"oh c'mon, you're aren't that sleepy." i stayed silent biting my lip. "c'mon zoey, it'll be quick." he grabs my thigh rubbing it gently with his thumb. "i'll be gentle."

i swallow some air. "o-okay. yeah. sure." he'd persuaded me. and maybe it was my fault- maybe i was to stupid to decline. or maybe i was overreacting, maybe i did enjoy this. maybe sex is better if you don't think of what bad things could possibly be happening.

i stayed there that night. quietly helping someone else's pleasures- when yet mine still wasn't full filled.

ZOEY
(Now, present time.)
maybe im just overreacting. maybe im just scared to say i had sex and didn't enjoy it. i mean it's not like it hurt- a lot. just a sharp pain here and there. normality at its finest, right?
"zoey- c'mon what was that about?" pollen's still jigging the door knob in attempts to open it without having to break its expenses.

i wipe the tears the trickled down my face like the sweat that trickled on me that night.
my hairs frizzy- like how the rough bedsheets did to me that night, when i laid waiting for some sort of pleasure to kick in. my hands are pale- like how his hands roughly cuffed mine in attempts to make himself feel in charge. maybe he thought i was turned on by that.
"zoey- open the door please!"

i continue willingly to ignore pollen looking at myself longingly in the mirror. flashbacks of that night drowns me harder, it's closing off my lungs, tightly at the chest and suddenly im panicking, im panicking and i can't breath.

it was just a night.

i said yes.

he ASKED for my consent.

i start to hug my knees. my tears are falling harder because they remind me of his sweat.
why do i even care so much? i was ready.
im coughing back my tears, my hands shaking reminding myself that my hands were used to be pinned down so i wouldn't move the first time he entered me.

but then again. I said Y-E-S.

dammit zoey, YOU said YES.

N O T E ;
Before I leave I want to say, sexual assault doesn't mean it's not there if you say 'yes'. Persuading someone into having sex with you is not a format of asking for your consent. Saying YES in general does not mean that person should continue what they're doing because if they truly cared they'd not only be making sure your comfortable, they'll keep and eye on you, and continue to ask if you're okay. just because you say YES does not mean it's your fault.

Young girls and boys, old girls and boys. PLEASE stay safe, PLEASE let your voice be heard because a hell lot of people are standing by you. I believe every word that'll come out of your mouth, and so will others.
I love you, and I stand by you with my heart, and my brain, and my moving body, because I'm alive here to stand by you.

So if you EVER feel down, there are many people who LISTEN. Don't ever feel like you're the only one, because you're not. I go through shit all the time.

YOR are NOT ALONE.

With that being said WELCOME back my loves.

Truly this question goes deeper than what it sounds.

How are you all?

Please let me know in the comments the highlights of your day, and the downfalls. I read all your comments, I may not reply all the time, but I'll get into the effort of doing so :)

So wether your happy or sad or mad Lemme know in the comments, I truly want to know!

Now if you asked me through the screen I'm doing a bit 'meh' I'm procrastinating on some shit, and I have to start getting my quarantine bod on Bc I seriously have zero muscles.

Anyways I'll be back sooner with updates on stories but for now while you wait for more mute 3 chapters I have two other books you should check out ;)

COUGH

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND

AND

WHERE OUR FAULTS LIE.

OH BTW I'm running out of Netflix shows to watch so if you guys have any suggestions please let me know! (Movies work too!)
I'll leave some of my faves for you guys in the comment aswell :)

ANYWAYS GOTTA GO MAKE MORE CHAPTERS
BYE LOVES!

Love youz babes💜💜.