Nothing, Never, No One

Part 1

A/n: I found that the music went well with the chapter, so, yeah. And it's great, so there's that too :D I did a banner for the chapter as well. I hope you enjoy !

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PART ONE

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DIARY 27

Day One:  Nothing to say. Or not much, as always. Sand everywhere and always, swirling up and down, in a brutal and unforgiving dance. It's the same ballet everyday since the Accident.

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Day Five:  There's a storm coming. Mother says she can feel it, like a part of her, the one that's contaminated, yearns to go to it. Soon it'll come into view. I see it in my mind's eye: the sky slowly changing to an unnatural red, the air turning heavy, but not like it would before the Accident, hot and humid. No, now it'll be the atoms rebelling, battling against each other, their war producing the toxic energy that's slowly but surely killing every living thing. Then will come the clouds, with a dark grey, almost black colour; we'll smell the ozone that comes with the lightning.

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I wonder how long this one will last. It's finally appeared, and it's one of the biggest I've ever seen in all these years here. Maybe it'll rain this time. One thing is certain: I won't be going out tonight. With or without my mask.

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Day Six:  The storm came and went. It shook our underground shelter so hard, it might as well have been a giant with giant feet stampeding. Though maybe not, as it didn't rush. The giant didn't cry either. With our supply of water that low, I'll have to go to the Shell, no matter what I promised last time. Mother needs more medicine anyway.

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Day Seven:  It's been thirteen years, six months and twenty-three days since we got here. I missed the Day. I won't miss Father's, though. It's in a few months still. Mother is worse than usual. She can hardly stay upright in between coughing fits.

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The Shell doesn't deserve it's name. Before the Accident, shell were the pretty things we found next to the ocean. When I held them against my ear, I'd hear the purring of the waves. They would lull me to sleep. The Shell, though, is anything but peaceful. It's where the scavengers and contaminated roam. It used to be an airship, one of the biggest ones they'd ever built, one that would carry ten cities' worth of supplies. Now, it's the only place to get medicine, fabric and metal. Only, it's not underground. From far away, it looks like the skeleton an animal Mother had told me about, once. It existed a very long time ago; I think it was called an "elephant".

I was silent as I collected some painkillers, screwdrivers, and a new water filter. I'm always careful when I'm in the Shell. Some people won't hesitate to kill you if they as much as catch a glimpse of you. I learned this the hard way. At least I've still got enough paper to last me for a while and didn't need to take some. I don't want a repeat of last time.

It took me five hours to get back. Even with the mask, the radiations weaken me. At least mother is happy with what I brought back.

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Day Ten:  Nothing

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Day Eleven:  Nothing

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Day Twelve:  Nothing

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Day Thirteen:  I had the nightmare again.

.~*~.

I was five, sitting on our couch, watching the news.

All the channels talked about the same things. Almost fifteen years later, I remember pointless observations about the irregularities of the seasons, false worrying about animal diversity, heated discussions about politics. One thing stood out: the controversy surrounding the new energy centrals. Scientists talked about how they'd been built too fast, without enough protecting measures. I remember perking up, because for once, I knew what they were talking about: my father worked there, after all.

I remember turning to look at the hundreds of colossal pillars standing a few miles away for where we lived.

I remember how my eyes widened at the red cloud of smoke that was coming from them. Splashes of grey could be seen sometimes; I remember thinking it looked like a big angry monster, and that the grey spot was its mouth. When Mother took me in her arms, tears streaking down her face, I was still looking at the monster, shouting that Father would fight it and everything would be okay because that's what fathers do, isn't it ? They fight the big, bad, scary monsters and make everything okay...

In the following months, in between grieving for my father and walking the world with Mother for a safe place to settle, I remember thinking, each time I saw the red storms, that the colour came from all the blood ever spilled on the surface of the planet. Maybe the cloud was here to punish us.

I think I still think this on some level.

.~*~.

I woke up outside, without my mask, the stars still bright in the sky. It's been a long time since I last sleepwalked.

I was facing the mountain range, so I walked in their direction. Their slumbering form looked nothing like the towering pillars of my dream...

I walked, and walked some more.

I walked and walked and walked until the sky started turning orange and pink and violet and yellow and light blue, but not red. Never red. Red keeps to itself until the storms start.

I walked and walked and walked again. I think I would have kept going forever, but my feet suddenly met air and I fell...

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I came round a the sound of a beat. It took me a moment to realize it was my head pounding along with my heartbeat. That meant I had to go back fast. Head and heart pounding together meant the beginning of contamination.

I realized then I'd fallen in a hole. Isn't there a song that went like this, before the Accident ? Down the rabbit hole. No, that was from a book of classics. I remember now. Back to the story.

This hole was maybe eight or nine feet high. Just high enough that I couldn't reach the top by jumping. So I took a step back and examined my prison: a big but narrow hole carved in rock. The walls were smooth, but not enough to prevent me from climbing to the surface, which is exactly what I did.

It took me even longer to go back than it had taken get here. I'd never really experienced the effect radiations had firsthand. I'm never going out without my mask again.

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I only was after I was lying in bed, feverish and half delirious that I thought about the Hole, and wondered who had dug it.

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END OF PART ONE

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Dedicated to @PhantomCat because she's an amazing writer and was the first to read this story :D Go to her profile page and check out her books !