I Just Loved You (And I Still Do); Taegi/Taekook

❝too close❞

For a few hours, days, Taehyung thought that maybe Jimin hadn't really comprehended what he had seen. Maybe, Taehyung thought, Jimin didn't know that Taehyung had fucked Yoongi. He couldn't know for sure. Maybe... Maybe he didn't know about Yoongi and him. Taehyung tried to convince himself of it. He was so desperate; so tense. And whenever he went after his lecturers straight home he feared Jeongguk might already wait for him with stuffed bags, wanting Taehyung to leave, saying it was over.

It didn't happen. It never did. And a week passed. And another one. Two weeks after the incident and Jeongguk was still the same loving boyfriend as ever and Taehyung hadn't seen Jimin at all until that day. Taehyung had to deliver any important papers to one of his lecturers. He now wore a big coat and a warm bobble cap and he almost hadn't noticed Jimin through his scarf as he rushed towards the subway station. Jeongguk had suggested cooking in the evening. It meant familiarity and comfort after the stressing exam period. They finally got time for each other again. So Taehyung wanted to get back to their flat as soon as possible.

But then there was Jimin and he almost bumped into him. He murmured a quick, hectic "Sorry" and wanted to go on, but Jimin stopped him. His hand on his upper arm. Taehyung felt himself tense up. He hadn't talked to Jimin since then. Still blamed him for the silence between Yoongi and him. They hadn't met up. They hadn't texted. And all of this just because of Jimin.

Taehyung felt Jimin's hand and he tensed because it had been a while since the last time they purposefully had touched one another. They'd always been touchy friends. Always sat on each other's laps, held each other's hands and hugged one another. They'd always been touchy and yet Jimin's touch felt so strange, unfamiliar, uncomfortable and his face seemed too close to his. Too close for comfort. Taehyung would have loved to back off a bit, to shake off Jimin's pale hand. He could see the way his bones stuck out from the almost transparent skin. When had he gotten so thin, Taehyung wondered. When had he gotten so fragile?

For the first time in a while, Taehyung felt something like concern. Not about Jimin but more about how much he hadn't noticed. Where there any more things that had happened without him noticing? Had he been so occupied, so caught up by everything that he hadn't noticed the way Jimin resembled a corpse, an empty shell whose cheekbones seemed too distinctive and whose hands seemed too fragile? Had he been so caught up by telling lies that he had lost sight of the truth? Taehyung gulped. He had everything under control, hadn't he? There was nothing to be concerned about. Jimin just had lost a little weight. Nothing too serious. And besides that nothing had changed. He was still together with Jeongguk and Namjoon and Seokjin were still working in the same places, still a couple. There couldn't have changed that much.

Taehyung looked up at Jimin's face. The dark bags underneath his eyes looked like deep furrows, contrasted with his pale skin. It was autumn, Taehyung thought, people seemed pale these days. And he looked at the way Jimin bit on his bottom lip, so hard, he feared it might draw blood. Then he licked his lips and said:" Be honest with yourself and Jeongguk." Gulped, added:" For both your sakes."

He looked at him puzzled and raised an eyebrow, feigning ignorance. Who did he think he was to say something like this? He hadn't been honest with his surroundings - with Yoongi - himself, so who did he think he was to tell Taehyung to be honest. It made Taehyung furious. So so furious. Because Jimin made it seem as though he was the one to be blamed; as if he had done something wrong and now he had to admit it to Jeongguk for both their sakes. That wasn't fair. And Taehyung would have loved to say it. To yell at him. To tell him that he wasn't any better. But then he would admit it. And he wasn't willing to give Jimin this kind of satisfaction. So he continued acting like an ignoramus.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Taehyung replied. Backing off a bit and already about to leave it like this. He knew sooner or later he would burst and before it could come to that he wanted to end this conversation.

But Jimin's grip on Taehyung's arm was and stayed firm and he almost winced at the force within Jimin's touch. Taehyung tried to look away and to focus on something else because he didn't want to look into Jimin's eyes. He knew what he had to expect and he wasn't ready to face any of this.

He stared at Jimin's hand as the older hissed: "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Taehyung wasn't dumb. And he knew better than to react in a way that could harm himself. So he ripped his arm away, shooting a glare in Jimin's direction without daring to look him in the eye and turned on his heel.

Despite his assumptions, Jimin didn't follow him. He solely yelled something. Something that almost made Taehyung froze in his motion only to run back and jump at Jimin for being that petty. He'd never thought that his former best friend could seriously be that fucking petty.

Jimin yelled: "Tell him before I'll do it."

It was crazy. How was Jimin supposed to know whether Taehyung told Jeongguk about it? How was Jimin supposed to do anything about it? He didn't even have a right to do anything. It was none of his business. Just because he was oh so in love with Yoongi and he didn't return his feelings he didn't have a right to decide with whom Yoongi fucked and with whom not - Taehyung was no exception. If Jimin had wanted to fuck him he should have just taken the first step. He hadn't. But Taehyung had. That was no sin. And it also wasn't Taehyung's problem. So Jimin should just shut it and calm down for a second. It wasn't his relationship that was at stake.

Taehyung hoped that Jimin was just bluffing but after everything that they both had gone through Taehyung had realized that Jimin wasn't the one to make empty promises as soon as he was holding a grudge against someone. The knowledge kept Taehyung on edge after he'd started to feel secure again after the incident.

Fuck Jimin.

Fuck him and his dumb crush, his dumb sense of "justice". He was blind and jealous, nothing more.

Maybe he would realize how ridiculous he was being. Maybe he would realize that also Jeongguk would be affected. Yes. Maybe that could be the thing that stopped Jimin from actually going through with it. He had to hope for the best. Everything else would just drive him crazy. And that was the last thing he needed right now. He had to play it cool, to be calm, at least calm enough to not feed any suspicions on behalf of Jeongguk.

He got this. Things would be okay, he was sure of it.