A year and four months ago she left me. It was the first and worst nightmare I've ever had. I keep convincing myself that I'm okay now. That I've recovered. But the truth is I've always regretted my choices back then. The pain never left nor did it lessen. It still remained. It was still as painful as before.
I always prayed, "Lord, please don't let this happen again. Please don't make me experience something so cruel again". I didn't want to experience the same nightmare again. Just the thought of it shatters me into pieces. If that happens again, i swear to God i won't be able to recover anymore. I just don't know how I'll live if that nightmare happens again.
Ever since that nightmare happened to me, i got so broken from the inside. I might look okay but ever since that day, a part of me got broken so much. I was like a glass that got too cracked and was barely holding it in. If something like that happens again, the glass will completely break and shatter into pieces. Not knowing how on earth I'll be able to fix it again.
But what is this? It's only been a year and a few months... I'm barely sleeping, I can't think properly anymore, I can't convince myself anymore, My mind's full of worry, my heart's always hurting, i can't breathe properly anymore, all i feel and think of is worry, I can't focus with anything anymore, I'm barely holding my tears back, and I'm very tired. Mentally and physically because my whole body hurts so much.
I am fully aware of what you plan to do. Just knowing that it won't be long before you do it again, i can't stand it. It's not that long before you take someone away from me again. Before you make me experience the same nightmare all over again. Don't blame me if i blame it on you because i just don't see the reason why you're doing it. In just a short period of time, you decide to do it again. To make me suffer again.
They always say that everything happens for a reason but just what is your reason? To make me suffer? I've suffered so much already. Are you still not satisfied? Can't you really give me a break from all of this suffering? Of all the people in the world, why me? Why us? Why?
