MY HOLLY SIN

Will it ever end?

Yes, it will end. It will end the way I want it to end, the way I need it, the way I crave it.
I know that because everything will happen in my hell of a head, where I, sometimes get to chose, where I am the executer of my own will, well, most of the times, certainly not when my mind runs wild due to a certain strong thought, nor in those times where I can do nothing but lay there and watch myself go insane a little at a time.
Anyways, I am gonna choose the end, our end, because I refuse to remember you in the ugly image you left in me, I refuse to regret letting you in, I loath looking at you and saying all the what ifs I currently have in mind. Instead, all I wanna remember is how you succeeded in soothing my pain, how you knew the way to calm me down when no one else did, how your hugs brought peace upon my long tormented soul, how my scars began to disappear when I stayed long enough by your side, how you pieced my heart together after being only little bits of nothingness placed between my lungs even though after you they no longer even exist.
For all those reasons, I'm saying loud enough for the earth to quiver: THIS IS NOT THE FUCKING END.

All this aside, we all know my story is just meant to be a lifetime of me waiting for him and him not giving a damn...