Survivor's Guilt || Peter Parker

Two

Peter holds himself accountable and he gets up as soon as the sun is peeking out. The trees block some of the light, but there is enough to see in front of him. He lets Morgan sleep against the tree bark as he rushes back to the river.

It takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to catch the right amount of fish, and when he does he celebrates by punching the air in victory. He cleans the fish as best as he can, but even Peter has to admit that it looks absolutely disgusting.

Then, he reluctantly wakes Morgan up, not wanting to waste more time than they already have.

"I have breakfast for us!" Peter holds out the raw fish in his palms. He tried so hard to cut it into appetizing, bite size pieces using his bare hands, though that worked as well as anyone could imagine.

Morgan gazes up at him, unimpressed.

She looks so much like Tony in that moment, and Peter has to roughly bite his lip to keep himself from crying.

"It looks gross, I'm not eating that."

"Morgan, you have too." He moves the fish closer to her mouth, trying to get her to bite into it, but she moves her head away adamantly.

"No, can't we find berries or something?"

Peter wishes more than anything that he could find any sort of fruit in the forest, but the likelihood of that was so slim that he didn't even bother entertaining the idea. Plus, Peter remembers reading somewhere that some wild berries could be poisonous. He's not exactly sure how to differentiate the ones that were safe to eat, so he decided to avoid them all together.

"We don't have berries, but this could be yummy too."

Morgan is clearly unconvinced, and she shakes her head again.

"If it's so good then why aren't you eating it?"

Peter sighs and tries not to let his anger get the best of him. Morgan was handling the situation incredibly well considering her age, and he couldn't blame her for being difficult at times like this.

He puts down Morgan's piece of fish and picks up his own, desperate to prove a point. He's always hated seafood, especially sushi, and the idea of eating raw fish makes his stomach churn in disgust.

Still, he takes a big bite of his own portion and tries not to gag in front of Morgan. He swallows and plants a huge smile on his face,  hoping to appear as convincing as possible.

"Delicious! How about you try some of yours now?"

Peter must have been a terrible actor, because Morgan somehow looks even more reluctant to eat. Tears gather in her eyes and Peter can't help but groan in response.

"I don't wanna."

"If you want to survive, you have to eat the fish."

Peter says the words in a stern voice and he watches closely as Morgan's eyes widen in surprise. Her shock stops her tears from falling, and Peter thinks this is the first time he's ever raised his voice at her.

Peter picks the fish back up, and tries again.

"I'm sorry, but you have to eat. You don't have a choice."

Slowly but surely, Morgan opens her mouth and Peter quickly feeds it her before she can change her mind. Morgan hates the taste and texture, and she reflexively spits out the food. Before Peter can get annoyed at her, she apologizes and opens her mouth again, this time more determined.

It takes some time, but Morgan eventually finishes her piece of fish. Peter scarves his own portion down, trying to fill his body as much as he can with his super metabolism.

He's so proud of Morgan, and he tells her exactly so.

As a result, Morgan grins from ear to ear with pride, and Peter can't stop the tears that water in his eyes and trickle down his face.

They move back to the river, and they drink more water before continuing their journey onward.

Peter heads West until his spider sense overwhelms his body and emotions. He stops dead in his tracks and turns East.

Nothing warns him of danger, so he moves along, this time counting his steps.

Peter forces himself to talk and keep Morgan occupied. He can feel her body trembling against his arms, and the feeling worries Peter to no end.

Even when Morgan falls asleep, her head resting against his shoulder, Peter still rambles. He doesn't think he can handle the silence of the rainforest if he stops.

More hours past and he keeps walking. Yesterday, the weather wasn't too bad, and Peter didn't think to consider it as a blessing. Today however, as the sun sets once again, it's much colder than the night before, and Peter's whole body shivers as he holds Morgan closer to his chest.

Without shoes, Peter feels like he's walking on daggers with each step he takes.

He lets the pain ground him, bring him back to reality when he feels himself drifting away. He combs his shaky hands through Morgan's hair, providing silent comfort now that he can no longer find his voice.

When the sun leaves once more, Peter doesn't stop to take a break this time around. The weather is freezing, and Peter is certain they'll die from hypothermia before anything else. He tries not to think about it as he continues to take careful steps through the forest.

Morgan is unmoving in his arms and the realization torments Peter to no end. A huge part of him wanted to wake her up so he could hear her voice close to his ear. After much consideration, he decides against it, thinking it would be selfish to rouse her from slumber.

That was the second huge mistake that he made.

Peter walks until he physically can't hold himself anymore. He falls to his knees and crawls to the nearest tree he can find, no longer thinking about the risks of stopping.

He acts as if he's on autopilot, barely processing his surroundings as he gently places Morgan down on his lap. He pulls off his sweatshirt and maneuvers her unconscious body so she's wearing it. The sweatshirt swallows her whole, and Peter hopes it keeps her a little more warm.

Now Peter is only in a t-shirt, and his body uncontrollably shakes as a result. He blinks and looks around the forest, not remembering how they got here.

He no longer cares however. All he thinks about is sleep as he holds Morgan close and submerges himself to the pull of oblivion.

~

Peter wakes up to his spider sense going haywire. Immediately, he stands and prepares himself for battle.

He looks around and pulls a stance of defense, positioning himself so he was in front of Morgan.

But nothing comes their way.

Peter looks up at the sky, and if he had to guess, he would say that it was early in the morning.

He is beyond confused at this point, but he still twists his head from side to side, desperately attempting to find a threat.

He's alone.

Finally, he looks down at Morgan, and everything suddenly makes sense.

Peter will never understand how he knew what was about to happen, but something deep in his soul told him that there was no time left.

He bends down and gathers Morgan in his arms once more. He rocks her back and forth as if it would help anything, and he presses a kiss to her forehead.

Minutes later, he hears rather than feels her heartbeat cease.