Dream Of The Stars

CHAPTER 4

"Andito lang ako." He whispered.

I frozed from what he said. I wanted to break the hug but I can't. I felt so helpless that I couldn't even push him away. I was crying on his chest while he is hugging me tightly. He didn't say anything. His hug made me feel so secured.

For the first time in my life I finally felt the kind of comfort that I've been longing for.

"Andito lang ako." I felt embarrassed when he said that. Hindi niya deserve na i-comfort ako because I was so rude to him.

"Sorry." I break the hug. "Umalis kana. I don't need you." I wiped my tears using my hands. I tried to close the door but he held the doorknob so I wasn't able to close it.

"Hindi ako aalis." he sounded so serious now. "I'll stay."

I ignored him and just walked towards the living room. I heard his footsteps so he probably didn't leave. I'm not in the mood to argue with him so I just let him stay.

 Aalis din 'to mamaya, for sure. Just like them.

I sat on the sofa and leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

I just couldn't believe that things will end up this way tonight. Parang kanina lang everything was fine and then they came. They ruined everything.

I felt my tears falling again so I covered my eyes with my left hand.

Sht. Stop it, Nicolette. You shouldn't be wasting your tears for them. They aren't even worth it.

I tried convincing myself to stop but it just wouldn't. 

"Ilabas mo lang 'yan. Mas masakit pag tinatago mo lang." I felt him sat beside me.

"Can you leave?" I asked without even opening my eyes. I felt so embarrassed. I'm sure he was shocked to see me like this. I used to be mean at him all the time.

"Aalis ako kapag okay kana."

"Baka hindi kana makaalis." I whispered. I can feel my tears again. "Argh!"

He removed my hand from covering my eyes. He held my hands so I opened my eyes and faced him. "Why are you holding my hand!?" I asked him.

"Alam mo ang pag iyak? Madaming natutulong saatin 'yan! Nakakatulong 'yan sa pagform ng image ng retina natin tsaka nagiging defense mechanism din natin 'yan against sa mga microorganisms. Kaya kung ako sayo, ibubuhos ko lahat ng luha ko."

I chuckled from what he said. He really sounded like a Doctor.

"Crying is for the weak." I uttered while looking down at the floor. Avoiding to make contact with him.

I saw him faced me from my peripheral vision. "Mas mahina yung mga nagtatago ng nararamdaman nila." he defended and glanced away. It looks like he said something personal.

"Sa panahon ngayon, puro nalang sasabihin ng iba yung mas iniisip ng mga tao. Paano naman yung sarili mo? Eto ang hirap sa henerasyon ngayon eh! Paano mo masasabi na malakas ka? Na matatag ka? Kung natatakot kang ilabas kung ano yung nararamdaman mo? Hindi yun pagiging matapang. Pagiging duwag lang yun."

His words hit me. He's right. Alam ko naman na tama lahat 'yon but why is it so hard to do what is right sometimes?

"Will it change the whole situation if I cry?" I looked at him and tried to justify my point.

"Hindi." He faced me and looked straightly to my eyes. "Pero mababawasan yung sakit." he plastered a small smile on his face. Fake smile, indeed. It seems like he's in pain too.